The Black Pirate
Shining Moments Films presents the 1926 silent The Black Pirate, an early experimental color film that somehow stretches the process of buckling swashes into an hour plus debacle. Rendezvous, Wed at 7:30 pm.
Childish Film Festival
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, "childish" can mean either "of, belonging, or proper to childhood" or "not befitting mature age, puerile." Chalk this charming three week-long series up in column one. Little Theater, see Movie Times.
The Darkside of the Wizard
Sure, everyone's heard the ridiculous rumors concerning a connection between Darkside of the Moon and The Wizard of Oz, but instead, I'd like to implore you to delve into the little explored, virtually uncanny connection between the 1980 masterpiece Xanadu, and Wham!'s Music at the Edge of Heaven. Now that shit's a fuckin' trip! Shows after the plain old Wizard. Fremont Outdoor Movies, Sat at dusk.
* Fight Club
"I am Jack's complete lack of surprise." Egyptian, Fri-Sat at midnight.
Go On Your Way: Dare To Dream
Local director Alec Whittle presents a documentary about graduating students attending the Washington State School For the Blind. Get it? A MOVIE about kids who CAN'T SEE! I mean, GET IT?!?! Broadway Performance Hall, Wed at 8 pm
* The Lawless Heart
A charming and effective film that combines the addictive tactics of British TV drama with a moderate structural experimentation that keeps viewers on their toes. Heart's characters are intricately related, by blood, love, and random geographic circumstance--and a single death unites them even more than they realize. Wonderful acting, a sharp, occasionally hilarious script, and the filmmakers' willingness to avoid perfunctory gay sentimentality distinguish this highly recommended picture. (SEAN NELSON) Varsity, Fri-Mon at 1:50, 4:20, 7, 9:20 pm.
Stoked: The Rise And Fall of Gator
See Stranger Suggests. Varsity, Fri-Mon at 1, 3, 5, 7:30, 9:30 pm, Tues-Thurs at 7:30, 9:30 pm.
Twisted Flicks: War of the Planets
Some crappy Italian Sci-Fi flick gets the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment from Jet City Improv. Historic University Theater, Fri-Sun at 8 pm.
NOW PLAYING
* 28 Days Later
How do you like your pop-apocalypse, sci-fi horror? If you like it loud, smart, and scary as all get out, you cannot miss this. This film kicks ass. (SHANNON GEE)
* American Splendor
See Stranger Suggests. (ANDY SPLETZER)
American Wedding
Just please promise this is the last one. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
And Now... Ladies and Gentlemen
See review this issue. Seven Gables
Bad Boys 2
Why shoot that bad guy when you can blow him 30 feet into the air? This is Michael Bay 101, and if Bad Boys II proves anything, it's that Bay's attempt at cinematic respectability was soundly ended with the horrendous Pearl Harbor. Bad Boys II is classic, trashy, inexcusable Bay. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
The Battle Of Shaker Heights
Those beer-swilling hacks at Project Greenlight exploit another young filmmaker in The Battle Of Shaker Heights, a movie about a 17-year-old boy obsessed with re-enacting WWII battles who exploits his passion to combat a school bully or some shit. Meridian 16
Bend It Like Beckham
Essentially a traditional coming-of-age story, though with a spicy ethnic twist: A hot Anglo-Indian teenage girl in outer London pursues her dream of professional soccer stardom against the wishes of her traditional Sikh parents. It is all charming fluff and captivating if improbable lightness, of course, but for a feel-good comedy, there is no higher praise. (SANDEEP KAUSHIK)
Bruce Almighty
Just when you thought there was nothing worse than an earnest Jim Carrey comedy, it hits you like a sack of shit in the kisser--there is something worse, and that's an earnest Jim Carrey comedy that casts the overacting, overarching comedian as God. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
Camp
If you've ever been brought to tears by anything written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, you will most likely cheer for Camp. (DAVID SCHMADER)
The Cuckoo
Upon first meeting glamourless Anni (Anni-Christina Juuso) in The Cuckoo, we might conclude that she will function in this film as a stolid Earth Mother, on screen to teach us some valuable, if necessarily humorless, lessons on Life and The Land and, since this is a wartime film, undoubtedly Man's Inhumanity to Man. Turns out, though, that she's been without her husband for a couple of years, and what she really, really, really wants is to get laid. Bad. So the sudden arrival, thanks to the war, of two wandering slabs of manflesh is rather more urgent than any concerns she might have about all that Man's Inhumanity stuff. This is merely the first of many expectations to be upended in Alexander Rogozhkin's film--a humorous, human, and nifty piece of enchantment. (CLAUDE ROC)
Dirty Pretty Things
I'm sad to announce that Dirty Pretty Things is a failure. True, it is a beautiful failure, as it is beautifully shot, with beautiful set designs, and beautiful actors; but in terms of its concept, plot, and general message, the movie falls apart shortly after it starts. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
* Finding Nemo
A ridiculously gorgeous film, Finding Nemo proves yet again Pixar's current chokehold on big-screen animation. The film stuns. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Freaky Friday
Despite the generally amiable Jamie Lee Curtis, the new Freaky Friday movie is not the old Freaky Friday movie. Absent: Jodie Foster, Barbara Harris, Boss Hogg, and (in the most unfortunate oversight) the earth-shattering car-chase/water-skiing/hang-gliding finale. Present: an univested Jamie Lee, obligatory modernizations, and (most inexplicably) something called "Asian voodoo." (ZAC PENNINGTON)
Freddy Vs. Jason
Let me save you the trouble: nobody dies... because they're ALREADY DEAD. (ZAC PENNINGTON)
Grind
A product perfect for kids too stupid to know the difference between a terrible movie and a terrible movie about skateboarding. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
* The Hulk
In the end, a failure. But at least it's an interesting one. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
I Capture the Castle
Taking back the English period piece from those Merchant-Ivory hacks, this is one girl's coming-of-age film that anyone can enjoy. (Andy Spletzer)
The Italian Job
Edward Norton and Mark Wahlberg team up in The Italian Job, a remake of the 1969 heist comedy starring Michael Caine and Noel Coward. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Jeepers Creepers 2
Because all relevant cinema is based on franchise, the folks who brought us the terribly forgettable Jeepers Creepers return to nail the point home--whatever that might be. Factoria, Meridian 16, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center, Woodinville 12
Johnny English
Be warned: Despite its appearances, Johnny English is not a British film. It is an American film. As American as Rowan Atkinson's previous effort, the dismal Bean. Which means, in short, he gets shit stuck in other shit. And is shat upon. Shit, shit, shit. Shit every-which-a-way. (ZAC PENNINGTON)
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life
It's come to this: a movie where all the references are not to previous adventure flicks, but to special effects from previous adventure flicks. That's what happens when you run out of ways to pit the evil against the less evil. (EMILY HALL)
Le Divorce
Kate Hudson and the vaguely haunting Naomi Watts are sisters in Paris, but if this suggests the ĂŠlan of expat adventure, forget it. They both act as though they've had the blood drained out of them; Ivory has the distinction of being the first director to dull Hudson's goldenrod glow. (CLAUDE ROC)
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
The action is dull, the dialogue witless, the effects absurd, and the story about as lucid as Ronald Reagan. (SEAN NELSON)
Legally Blonde 2
More than any other actress, 27-year-old Southerner Reese Witherspoon embodies American ideals at their most idealistic. That's why we believe she can and will change the world through animal rights in Legally Blonde 2, in which Witherspoon reprises her amazing role as Elle Woods, whose desire for truth, justice, and the American way equalizes her unapologetic materialism. (JULIANNE SHEPHERD)
The Magdalene Sisters
The film is very heavy-handed and obvious, and perhaps too moralizing for a film about the dangers of moralizing. (EMILY HALL)
Marci X
Lisa Kudrow stars as the heir to a successful hardcore hiphop label who must clean up the hardest of the hard, played unconvincingly by Damon Wayans.
The Matrix: Reloaded
There is art that moves you, and art that awes you. The Matrix Reloaded, despite its flaws, is the latter. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
THE MEDALLION
Sometimes movies that should go straight to video get a theatrical release, and The Medallion is a perfect example. Aging Jackie Chan plays a nice Hong Kong cop who is teamed up with a bumbling Irish Interpol agent.The only reason to see this movie is for the action scenes directed by Sammo Hung. It's only too bad the plot keeps interrupting the fun. (ANDY SPLETZER)
A Mighty Wind
As with Christopher Guests' other films, Waiting for Guffman and Best in Show, the results of A Mighty Wind are alternately hilarious and flat. (SEAN NELSON)
My Boss's Daughter
Ashton Kutcher spends another hour and a half desperately trying to fuck another trashy Hollywood blonde (in this case Tara Reid)--to little avail.
Open Range
Part standard Western, part attempted romantic epic, Open Range starts patiently and solidly, but ends up rushing through its climax; the romance, such as it is, takes it in the teeth, and what was meant to be big and important is instead messy and clumsy. Which is too bad, because it has one of the best shootouts in years. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
The Other Side of the Bed
See review this issue. Uptown
Passionada
This is the tripiest tripe in Tripetown: Passionada leans very hard on the narrative and visual language of sitcoms--the reaction shot, the meaningful look--all woven into Three's Company-style hijinks, and a neat tie-up at the end (even Grandma gets a boyfriend). (EMILY HALL)
Pirates of the Caribbean
Watching Pirates of the Caribbean, I realized how supremely disappointing it is that in the 108 years since the Lumière brothers first fumbled with their primitive cinematograph, we are only just now being given a zombie pirate movie. The Summer's best blockbuster. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
S.W.A.T.
Samuel L. Jackson plays an angry black man in a uniform ("Um... Mr. Jackson? Can I get you some coffee or something?") opposite Colin Farrell in a film about the efforts of a Los Angeles-based S.W.A.T. team to ensure that a drug kingpin doesn't escape police custody.
Seabiscuit
Maybe I'm too cynical for Triumphant Lessons like this, but I like a little more grit under the nails of my Hollywood movies, and the manicured emotions in Seabiscuit are a bit too Hallmark for me, even if they are based on a true story. (JENNIFER MAERZ)
Spellbound
Jeffrey Blitz's amazing documentary Spellbound chronicles eight near-teens as they compete in the National Spelling Bee. At least, that's the film's obvious premise; the less obvious one, what the documentary really is, is a love letter to America. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Spy Kids 3D
The real tragedy here is that the children of America live in a world where this sort of tripe stands as a pale approximation of the majesty that was Captain EO. (ZAC PENNINGTON)
Step Into Liquid
You have to hand it to Dana Brown--he keeps Step Into Liquid sexy for longer than you would think possible, and when the beautiful footage starts to pale, he throws in all the thinkable variations on the surf theme. (EMILY HALL)
The Swimming Pool
François Ozon's latest tribute to the sexy superiority of French women. Starring Charlotte Rampling and Ludivine Sagnier.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
It has been 83 years since the passing of the 19th Amendment, and now, finally, women are able to claim victory in the battle for equality. They have their own ultimate killing machine. Unfortunately, the film is not victorious in the least. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Thirteen
See review this issue. Eyptian
Uptown Girls
Brittany Murphy has never looked more like an overdose victim in high heels than she does in this movie--during some scenes I swear her skin was blue. (MEGAN SELING)
* Whale Rider
Audiences at Toronto and Sundance loved this film and so will you if you like triumphant tales of charismatic youngsters who defy the stoic immobility of old-fashioned patriarchs. (Shannon Gee)
The Winged Migration
A documentary that is as much about the wonders of flight as the migration of birds.
