Tools
Cremaster 5
Artstar Matthew Barney's (chronologically) third Cremaster movie. You still have to wait a week for the Mormons and bees and Vaseline, but this week you can at least sample some tragic Hungarian opera. Grand Illusion, Fri 5, 7, 9 pm, Sat-Sun 3, 5, 7, 9 pm, Mon-Thurs 7, 9 pm.
The Face of Decent Work / Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Two short documentaries about global workplace hazards and child domestic workers in the Phillipines, respectively. Keystone Church, Fri May 28 at 7 pm.
From the Vaults
The film portion of ConWorks' Hindsight series kicks off with this selection of films from the ConWorks collection. See www.conworks.org for films. Consolidated Works, Fri-Sun 8 pm.
Krush Groove
A fictionalized movie about the goings-on at Krush Groove Records, home to Run-DMC and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Sunset Tavern, Mon May 31 at 9:30 pm.
Only Angels Have Wings
A couple of pilots in Latin America and the women who come between them are the main characters in this 1939 Howard Hawkes drama, starring Cary Grant, Jean Arthur, Richard Barthelmess, and Rita Hayworth. Movie Legends, Sun May 30 at 1 pm.
* Son of the Blob
Which begs the question: how does one determine the gender of goo? Grand Illusion, Fri-Sat 11 pm.
Tom Jones
Bastard child Tom is, in his adult life, a bit of a womanizing bastard still, but deep down he really wants to settle down with a nice lady. Tom Jones won the Oscar for best picture in 1964. Seattle Art Museum, Thurs May 27 at 7:30 pm.
Tumbleweeds / Metropolis
A silent double-header with the 1925 King Baggot western Tumbleweeds and Metropolis, Fritz Lang's 1927 sci-fi parable of worker revolt. Haller Lake Community Clubhouse, Sat May 29 at 7 pm.
Twisted Flicks: World Without End
A 1956 sci-fi thriller gets the voiceover treatment from members of Jet City Improv. Historic University Theater, Thurs-Sat 8 pm.
* UnPrecedented: The 2000 Presidential Election
Everybody knows that the Florida portion of the 2000 presidential election was all kinds of fucked up. Hanging chads, butterfly ballots, faulty recounts--we're all pretty damn tired of hearing about it, actually. Filmmakers Richard Ray Pérez and Joan Sekler try to overcome election-coverage fatigue by looking into the voting irregularities in depth, and it helps. The movie still carries the tone of left-wing whining, but some of the facts it presents are amazing. Someday, Jeb Bush's railroading of this election will get the same respect that Richard J. Daly's corrupt Chicago Democratic machine has achieved. The way that Jeb excluded thousands of potential Democratic voters through faulty and purposely vague searches for convicted felons in order to take away their voting rights? Genius. Sure, it's evil, corrupt, and no way to run a fair election, but it worked. This Music for America presentation will be followed by a discussion, where better informed citizens will hopefully rebuke people like me who don't take politics seriously on any level. (ANDY SPLETZER) Vera Project, Thurs May 27 at 7 pm.
Wanderjahr: The Margo Project
Brendan "Margo" Margieson is a hotshot surfer, and this is his hotshot film. Rendezvous, Fri May 28 at 8 pm.
* When Video Came
The last program in the Yale Ave theater will feature a number of short videos, including Devin Damonte's celebration of the discontinued Kodak slide projector (Carousel Slide) and an experimental short with footage from pharmaceutical commercials (Radical Medicate), plus the documentary When Video Came, by Andres Tapia-Urzua. 911 Media Arts, Fri May 28 at 8 pm.
Women in Love
Ken Russell directed this 1969 adaptation of the D. H. Lawrence novel. Featuring Alan Bates and Oliver Reed wrestling each other in the nude. Seattle Art Museum, Thurs June 3 at 7:30 pm.
NOW PLAYING
13 Going on 30
As you could probably gather on your own, this movie is dumb, dull, and lacking any sort of charm. And besides that, the stupid 13 Going on 30 promo package that the movie people sent got stupid "wishing dust" all over my stupid desk. Fucking glitter. (MEGAN SELING)
* Bon Voyage
Bon Voyage has a big theme (Germany's invasion of France), big actors (in terms of reputation), and big emotions (a young man's eternal love for a famous but shallow movie actress). The speed of the film's narrative is always high, and the characters are kept in constant motion, rarely stopping to rest and look at the big world around them. If this were an American movie, it would have been described as intelligent and even profound; but as a French movie, it is big, dumb, and lots of fun. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
Breakin' All the Rules
Jamie Foxx gets dumped by his girlfriend and then writes a book about it.
Coffee and Cigarettes
Meandering has always been one of the major tools in Jim Jarmusch's arsenal, but here it is taken much too far. In the past, people have been known to complain, rather wrong-headedly, that Jarmusch pictures are dull and unengaging; with this film, sadly, their complaints finally hit the mark. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
* Connie and Carla
Best friends Connie (Nia Vardalos) and Carla (Toni Collette), the female title characters, are not gay, but they witness a crime and (given their mutual love for dinner theater) quickly conclude that they must go into hiding as drag queens. The first 20 minutes of Connie and Carla, which attempt to demonstrate how this solution could possibly seem obvious to anyone, are awful. The rest of the movie--an inspired blend of Shakespearean gender-bent comedy, show-tunes cabaret, and vaudeville slapstick--more than compensates for those initial squirm-worthy scenes. (ANNIE WAGNER)
The Day After Tomorrow
Global warming! Catastrophe! Disaster! And plenty of special effects.
Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut
See review next issue.
Ella Enchanted
Ella Enchanted stars saucer-eyed Anne Hathaway as a young woman cursed with total obedience. A quasi-feminist fairy tale vaguely inspired by the story of Cinderella (Ella--get it?), the film follows its heroine's quest to remove the curse, which naturally results in the obligatory romance with the hunky Prince Charmont. As family fluff with a girl-power message, Ella Enchanted actually presents a more sophisticated argument than a "serious" movie like, say, Whale Rider. By making the restrictions placed on the heroine internal (sort of) rather than external (such as conservo-fascist parents and chauvinistic traditions), the movie inches toward a subject that has not really been dealt with in mainstream film: the subservience this society attempts to program into its women. To the film's credit, it keeps its woman on top all the way through, even at the expense of logic and narrative coherence. (ADAM HART)
Envy
Tim (Ben Stiller) and Nick (Jack Black) are best friends, co-workers and neighbors, somewhere in under-the-powerlines California. "You're a dreamer," Tim tells Nick, condescendingly. Then Nick's invention--a spray-on fecal disintegrator called "Va-POO-rize"--hits the big time. Hijinks, as they say, ensue. Tim accidentally kills his neighbor's horse, which, in time-honored farce fashion, introduces the J-Man, a goofy longhaired barfly played with comic menace by Christopher Walken. Naturally, the horse presents a recurring problem, never more so than when Nick generously makes his beloved neighbor his business partner. Eventually, environmental concerns arise concerning the fate of the dispersed crap. A crowd chants, "Where does the shit go?" Black's role requires a cherubic sweetness unleavened by mischief, rendering his casting choice moot. Stiller veers between his babbling neurotic shtick and a decent portrayal of a troubled, harried man. Walken, in sideshow mode, never hits a false note (except when he sings). Levinson's best known satire is Wag the Dog; Black and Stiller could conceivably have helped to deliver a similar work of wit. Unfortunately, Levinson takes up love, success, and forgiveness at the expense of a sharp tongue. These are themes seen elsewhere in his work--notably the terrific, but highly sentimental, Avalon. The American myth of the decent little guy making it big and remaining decent underpins both films. Here, it stays the venom of satire, leaving a sweet-natured film that verges on stickiness at points. (MIKE WHYBARK)
* Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Whereas the last Michel Gondry/Charlie Kaufman collaboration, Human Nature, eventually crumbled under its own quirkiness, Eternal Sunshine finds director and scribe fitting perfectly together. This is a film that travels far beyond most of our imaginations. It is also one of the most beautifully assembled romances you will ever see. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Good Bye Lenin!
Because of Christiane's exceptionally delicate condition, her son Alexander cannot inform her that East Germany is no more, that the party and the socialist ideals that consumed much of her adult life are now a thing of the past. To protect her nerves as the outside world becomes more and more like West Germany, the inside of Christiane's room is maintained in the state of East Germany. The trick, and it is a trick devised by the clever director (Wolfgang Becker), works. In other hands it would have been silly and exhausted in a matter of minutes, but Becker manages to get over an hour's worth of comedy and drama out of it. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
Hidalgo
Hidalgo screams Disney with its Wild West adventure, and especially the hammy relationship between Frank Hopkins (Viggo Mortensen) and his horse, Hidalgo. Whenever Hopkins makes a fool of himself, Hidalgo the Wise raises his eyebrows, or snorts, and even bleeds if the mood calls for it, making Hidalgo quite possibly Mortensen's most romantic film to date. (KATHLEEN WILSON)
I'm Not Scared
Soaring across plains of southern Italy, Michele is a coming-of-age hero waiting to happen, and happen he does when he comes across a hole in the ground behind an old, abandoned villa and spies a kidnapped child. Complicating matters, meanwhile, is the mounting certainty that Michele's own father is implicated in the abduction. These vectors are both the bane and the salvation of this picture, which successfully transcends genre, only to suffer under the weight of its own unlikeliness. (SEAN NELSON)
Kill Bill Vol. 2
As a whole piece (as it was originally intended), Kill Bill would've toppled over, eventually landing with a thud upon its inevitable anti-climax. There are some surprising fits to be found in Vol. 2 (including the Uma Thurman squaring off with Elle Driver, a romp that owes much to the Coen Brothers' Raising Arizona), but the final tally fails to shatter the earth--a shame, since Vol. 1 built hopes up so high. Lest we forget, Kill Bill, at its heart, is little more than a stock revenge flick--so why then does Tarantino waste so much of our time, and put forth so little apparent effort, in bringing the tale to a close in Vol. 2? I can hazard a guess: His desire to make something far more important than it should be trumped his ability to make something great. The resulting film is, when spackled together, one-half genius and one-half a failure. This half is the failure, and, in the end, it taints the genius. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
The Laws of Attraction
With a sensibility that seems to have been only marginally updated since the 1950s, and a plot so familiar you could sing along if you wanted to, Laws of Attraction is unoriginal, untroubling fluff of the highest order. Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan play rival divorce attorneys who just don't see they love each other--until finally they do. Moore is the uptight spinster who learns how lonely she is without a man, and Pierce Brosnan is, well, Pierce Brosnan, except this time his wardrobe is mostly striped and unironed. The computer that developed this story is probably now out of date and sitting in a landfill somewhere, but the studio people got exactly what they wanted out of it. (ADAM HART)
* Life of Brian
Originally released (with all the expected controversy) in 1979, The Life of Brian has been puffed and polished for its 25th anniversary. And though it's not quite as funny as The Holy Grail, the film still holds up; smart, quick, and untroubled by the possibility of offending, Python's slapping about of organized religion may be the perfect afterwash to Mel Gibson's epic. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
* Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
After greeting the first two films with slack-jawed reverence, I found myself viewing the third with a kind of grumpy anticipation. What I soon discovered, however, was that the begrudging-ness of my affection for the film was no match for Peter Jackson's swashbuckling craft. If this is just a fantasy, Jackson seems to say, it's going to deliver on every level available. (SEAN NELSON)
Man on Fire
Denzel Washington stars as a bodyguard in Mexico with a passion for vengeance.
* Mean Girls
Mean Girls is no Heathers--it lacks the surreal quality of the teenage years, the quality that's found a strange but correct analogue in supernatural teen dramas like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Sabrina the Teenage Witch--but it's pretty good. Really, when you think about what sort of crap is out there for teenagers, about how teenagers live and interact and what Hollywood thinks is at stake for them (Chasing Liberty, anyone?), Mean Girls starts to look great. It's funny, lively, and smart, with a couple of characters who seem realer than not, and had I seen it as a teenager it might have changed something for me. (EMILY HALL)
New York Minute
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen finally make a movie that isn't a straight-to-video piece of crap about the sisters getting into all sorts of trouble in some strange city while meeting cute boys and coming to the conclusion that no matter what their differences, they'll always be sisters and best friends. Oh wait. That's exactly what New York Minute is. Except for the straight-to-video part. And NYM isn't really a piece of crap either (not as much as their straight-to-video projects, anyway). I mean, the twins certainly aren't flexing any acting muscles, but Eugene Levy is in it and I love him. Ufortunately, the whole movie revolves around a Simple Plan video shoot. And Simple Charlotte, uh, I mean Simple Plan is one of the lamest bands in the history of music. Major points lost there. (MEGAN SELING)
Raising Helen
See review this issue.
Sacred Planet
No one who has graduated from the fifth grade ever goes to see IMAX movies. So I can't imagine that it's worth my time to tell you about the latest IMAX addition, Sacred Planet, because what do you care? You don't want to go see a beautifully filmed educational movie showing some of the most breathtaking areas of the world (like Namibia, Thailand, and Borneo). Even if it is narrated by Robert Redford, you're still not gonna go! But I went. And I'm glad I did. Because besides it being all pretty and stuff, there's this really funny part when a big dumb bear is trying to catch a slippery little fish in the shallow part of an Alaskan river. And no matter how much he paws and pounces around in the water that dumb bear just can't catch that damn fish. Hahahaha. Stupid bear. (MEGAN SELING)
Shaolin Soccer
When "Golden Leg" Fung blew the championship soccer game for his team by missing the winning goal, the angered Hung hired some big and tough mobsters to break the loser's leg. So they did, and by doing so they ruined his soccer career. Poor Golden Leg. Instead of being the rich and famous soccer star he was meant to be, he became a lonely, smelly drunk. Miserable and alone, Fung meets Sing, who is a master at the art of Shaolin. Together, they set out to recruit a soccer team that can harness the power of the martial art to defeat Hung's new team. Shaolin Soccer probably sounds like a sappy, "anything can happen if you only believe" love-fest, but it's actually quite funny. At least, it is if you're into obvious and cheesy jokes (which I totally am). And a bunch of critics, all more notable than me, agree. (MEGAN SELING)
Shrek 2
Shrek 2 can best be described with a shrug. As in: It's fine, no big deal, just what you would expect. It is a harmless home run--uninspired, for the most part (especially when compared to the original), but certainly watchable. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
A Slipping-Down Life
An adaptation of an Anne Tyler novel about a provincial Southern town and its insistently quirky residents, including an amusement-park employee (Lili Taylor) and her rockstar love interest (Guy Pearce).
Soul Plane
An award from a discrimination lawsuit gives a lowly passenger the chance to create a new airline in his own funky image.
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring
The five seasons are governed by very different generic conventions--meaning it's entirely possible to enjoy one and abhor the next. The opening parable "Summer" is successful, but the next two episodes (a coming-of-age vignette and a cop drama) come up short by comparison. Then "Winter"--by far the most successful segment, and the only full episode to feature director Kim Ki-duk as the main character--explodes into an astounding ode to labor and atonement. (ANNIE WAGNER)
Super Size Me
It is uncannily hard to watch the preparatory stages of Morgan Spurlock's diet experiment in Super Size Me, the stage during which he visits doctors and nutritionists who calibrate, in every thinkable way, the ways in which he is perfectly healthy. Watching this man--all happy, puppyish energy and handlebar mustache--prepare to throw himself under the wheels of the fast-food juggernaut has the eerie air of readying for sacrifice. Why would a person do such a thing? Don't we all know that fast food is bad for us? Well, apparently we don't know, or didn't know, precisely the horrifying extent. And lest you think that this film is only for Fast Food Nation types, that it's aimed only at those who already have the information, remember that Spurlock put his own body on the line to get your attention. That's why he did it. He did it for you. (EMILY HALL)
* This So-Called Disaster
In the end, though we never see Sam Shepard's play, we're afforded huge insight not only into The Late Henry Moss, but into the mind of a fascinating American artist at work. Best of all is the documentary's neat trick of making theater seem like an entirely worthwhile endeavor, which is no small achievement. (SEAN NELSON)
Touching the Void
I'm not sure if Joe Simpson and Simon Yates are still active mountaineers, but it is clear that just speaking about their famous climb in this drama-documentary, detailing it in that near-formal language which distinguishes professional mountaineers from amateurs, gives them a pleasure that is satanic in its size and intensity. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
* The Triplets of Belleville
Writer-director-animator Sylvain Chomet invokes the same absurdly entertaining nostalgia that Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro tapped into for Delicatessen and City of Lost Children. The world Chomet has created contains the same deadpan sadness that lies at the base of those films--the world may be a cold and lonely place, but with a little inventiveness you can prosper. (ANDY SPLETZER)
Troy
Bland, but pretty--a fairly solid description of Troy on the whole. Wherever Wolfgang Peterson's talent ran off to, I'm sure he'll pay a handsome reward for its return, for Troy is far too stock and far too obvious to be a success. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)
Valent,n
Short, sugar-sweet, and slight, this autobiographical tale of growing up lonely in '60s Buenos Aires features an owl-eyed, certifiably adorable nine-year-old who shares--in nonstop overvoice--his precocious observations about life and love. As selfish dad, ailing gram and absentee mom drop out as potential family, this wise child, whose head's just a wee bit too big for his spindly bod, takes matters into his own hands. A cuddly movie for children and undemanding adults. (Kathleen Murphy)
Van Helsing
Monster huntin' was better back in the 19th century.
What the #$*! Do We Know?!
I never got around to figuring out what a quantum leap is, but now I think I know: It's when you make a short jump from quantum mechanics to New Age self-help kookiness. That's what happens in this ungainly, inane film, which purports to be about quantum physics but is really about the power of positive thinking, with a midlife-crisis plot (starring Marlee Matlin) and some childish cartoon figures and a series of talking heads who can't stop using the word "paradigm." (EMILY HALL)
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (0)