ALL THE LITTLE ANIMALS -- Pacific Place 11

THE LOVERS ON THE BRIDGE -- Varsity Calendar

THE APPRENTICE -- The Big Picture

AUTEURS OF THE '70S -- Seattle Art Museum

CHANG & TABU -- Grand Illusion

THE CINEMA EXPLOSION -- The Rendezvous

THE LAST LAUGH -- The Grand Illusion

LATE AUGUST, EARLY SEPTEMBER -- Varsity Calendar

LINDA'S SUMMER MOVIES -- Linda's Tavern

THROUGH THE OLIVE TREES -- Little Theatre

YELLOW SUBMARINE -- Egyptian

September 10 -- A Stir of Echoes, Lucie Aubrac, Stigmata, Violent Cop, Boiling Point, Love Stinks

September 17 -- Blue Streak, Grand Illusion, Return with Honor, The Acid House, For Love of the Game, Breakfast of Champions, Molly

The 13th Warrior
As Ibn Fahdlan, a 10th-century traveler from Baghdad who wrote about his encounters with Vikings, Antonio Banderas gives a disappointingly flat performance. In fact, there is virtually no character development at all in this film. It's basically a cowboys 'n' Indians action flick (based on Michael Crichton's 1976 novel, Eaters of the Dead), with the good ol' boy Vikings versus a mysterious cannibalistic tribe whose deity is a fleshy, prehistoric, female "Venus" figurine. The irony of bloodthirsty warriors using the image of a peace-loving earth goddess as their mascot was apparently lost on the filmmakers. It's refreshing, though, that Islam, as represented by Ibn Fahdlan, comes off surprisingly un-scathed, in contrast to nearly all Hollywood pics involving Arabs. For those who like rock 'em, sock 'em, blood spurtin' action, this is an entertaining enough film with good pacing, excellent production values, and gorgeous cinematography, filmed in the British Columbia wilderness. (Melody Moss) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

Alaska: Spirit of the Wild
More of a nature documentary than a ghost story. Omni-dome

All the Little Animals
As a child, Bobby (Christian Bale) was knocked senseless when hit by a car, and he has never been the same since. Gentle, childlike, prone to temper tantrums, he is at the mercy of his evil stepfather after his mother dies -- a stepfather who wants to rob him of his department store fortune. Money means nothing to Bobby, of course, and to the stepfather, whose evilness is without bounds, this is more enraging than outright resistance. After the stepfather, in a petty display of power, kills Bobby's pet mouse Peter, Bobby runs away and meets up with a stranger in the countryside. The stranger, Mr. Summers (John Hurt), spends his days burying road kill and muttering about the hapless nature of humans. He is a perfect match for Bobby. With all of these fairy tale elements, All The Little Animals draws out like a painful moral tale that wants to be more than its morality. It never succeeds. (Traci Vogel) Pacific Place 11

Amazon
An IMAX examination of the lush forests and exotic animals of the Amazon river basin. Omnidome

American Pie
The story should be familiar to anyone who came of age in the '80s: Four high school seniors make a pact to lose their virginity before they graduate. Pacific Place 11

*And Life Goes On...
Making art out of tragedy is a helpful, perhaps even necessary way to help people heal, but some distance is required lest the effects appear exploitative. Abbas Kiarostami's And Life Goes On... is one of the finest artistic responses to real-life devastation I've seen -- wise, humane, humble in its goals. I'd be lying if I didn't report some discomfort seeing such a perfectly composed creation just days after TV coverage of the earthquakes in Turkey. The film is based upon the director's return to the region of Iran where he'd shot an earlier film after a devastating quake. The director and his son revisit dusty roads and small towns scarred or destroyed by the disaster; they meet people quietly, heroically going on with their lives. Not merely a masterpiece, this becomes one of those very greatest of films, where life just seems to flow on, completely oblivious to the cameras lucky enough to capture it. Thurs Sept 2 at 4:45, 7, 9:15. (Bruce Reid) Grand Illusion

The Apprentice
A young loner is adopted by a group of hitmen who take out "bad guys" for the cops, but reconsiders when he realizes some of the victims are innocent. Premiere. Sat Sept 4 at 7, 9. The Big Picture

The Astronaut's Wife
Johnny Depp is an astronaut. Charlize Theron is his wife. When the astronaut comes home from space, something has "changed" about him, and he tries to kill his wife. Grand Alderwood, Pacific Place 11, Varsity

*Auteurs of the '70s
Gentlemen, start your engines: Scarecrow Video's Fall Film Series kicks off with a scandalous secret screening of a not-available-on-video, X-rated, director's cut of a FAMOUS sci-fi film. Strictly for the purpose of art and cinematic history, of course. Thurs Sept 2 at 7:30, $6 single/$20 Full Series Pass; call 524-8554 for more details. Seattle Art Museum

Better Than Chocolate
Despite an increasing number of gay-themed films, there still isn't a first-rate lesbian comedy out there (though The Killing of Sister George is unintentionally hilarious). Better Than Chocolate isn't first-rate, but it's close. The setup is typical TV sitcom: Budding artist Maggie (Karyn Dwyer) meets and falls in love with free-spirited Kim (Christina Cox), mere hours before she learns her mother and brother are spending the summer with her. The catch? She's not out to mom yet. Despite complications, everything works out jim-dandy, like you knew it would. The film's weaknesses are the amateurish performances by secondary characters, and the unbelievable naiveté of Maggie's mother. That said, the film has far more substance than dreck like Bar Girls or It's in the Water, depicting discrimination not only in straight society, but in the gay community as well. (Gillian G. Gaar) Broadway Market

*The Blair Witch Project
In 1994, while shooting a documentary on the myth of "The Blair Witch," three film students mysteriously disappeared in the woods. The missing trio included director Heather Donahue (who, like the rest of the cast, uses her real name in the film), sound engineer Michael Williams, and cameraman Joshua Leonard. A year later, their video and film cameras, along with the footage, are found in the basement of an abandoned home. Though a fictional film, The Blair Witch Project is effective because it seems real. Too real, even. (Charles Mudede) Meridian 16, Neptune, Redmond Town Center

*Bowfinger
Movies about movies are always best when they relish both the sleazy cynicism of the business and the idealistic outsiders banding together to make the art; Bowfinger does a terrific job on both scores. Steve Martin's clever script (obviously written after some careful viewings of Tim Burton's marvelous Ed Wood) celebrates a low-rent would-be producer (Martin) who dedicates his life savings ($2,184) to finally directing a feature film. His crew is loyal, but now more than ever you need a big star to open a picture. His ingenious solution is to surreptitiously film the world's biggest action star (Eddie Murphy), and build the film around him. The laughs are plentiful, Murphy gives two of his best performances, and director Frank Oz moves things along at an energetic clip. (Bruce Reid) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree

Brokedown Palace
Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale play high school grads who get horny and competitive in Thailand, then end up jailed as fall guys for a hunky drug smuggler. For much of its length, Brokedown Palace is a slightly xenophobic guilty pleasure (with Bill Pullman thankfully back in a good, sleazy character bit), but it fizzles away into My So-Called Midnight Express. Director Jonathan Kaplan keeps things humming along, but doesn't raise the stakes high enough; the girls' imprisonment plays like an extremely troubling annoyance on the path to adulthood. Both leads are appealing, and there is some fun to be had in watching Danes in tough-talking, bad-ass mode, barking lines like, "We can't do dick in this shithole country!" With a soundtrack designed to sell, and fragrance ad shots of its sexy and mysterious locale, Palace is melodrama for the MTV generation, but without the common sense to go ahead and get really juicy. (Steve Wiecking) City Centre, Redmond Town Center

Buena Vista Social Club
Director Wim Wenders and musician Ry Cooder collaborate on this documentary on the Cuban super-group, the Buena Vista Social Club. Winner of the Golden Space Needle for Best Documentary. Seven Gables

Chang & Tabu
From the team behind King Kong comes Chang (1927, Thailand), showing with Tabu (1931, Tahiti), two exotic, silent "mockumentaries" about a jungle tribe and a pearl diver. Newly restored 35mm prints. Reviewed this issue. Grand Illusion

Chill Factor
Looks like another formula action film for Cuba Gooding Jr. Here, he and Skeet "Never Quite Made It" Ulrich need to keep a weapon of mass destruction cold, lest it go off! Eeeeesh. Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Northgate

*The Cinema Explosion
The Acme Cinema Group presents an evening of films from the Seattle Undergound, featuring new works by: Jon Behrens, Steve Creson, Web Crowell, Jason Gutz, Rachel Lord, Mia Roozen, Andy Spletzer, and Todd Zapp. See also the "Conflict of Interest" section of the calendar. Fri Sept 3 at 7:30, 9:30, $6. Rendezvous

*Deep Blue Sea
Deep Blue Sea is horribly shot, creatively bankrupt, and gloriously derivative, and I'd like to personally thank director Renny Harlin for everything he does wrong. Not since Anaconda have we been blessed with a People-Eating Flick so deliciously oblivious to its own crap. (Steve Wiecking) Lewis & Clark

Detroit Rock City
Detroit Rock City is about the joys of being an adolescent male in love. In love with KISS, that is. Detroit Rock City's funniest element shows how time really is the great leveller. En route to Detroit, our high school heroes have a scuffle with a carload of disco lovers, one of whom expounds on the greatness of the Village People. Twenty years on, KISS and Village People are seen as equally kitschy. And after all, they did share the same record label. (Gillian G. Gaar) Uptown

Dick
Hold on before writing Dick off as yet another retro look at those wacky, wacky '70s. The transformation of Arlene (Michelle Williams, of Dawson's Creek fame) and Betsy (Kirsten Dunst) from oblivious teens to "secret youth advisors" to the President is a hoot. And Will Ferrell and Bruce McCulloch are an improbably doofy Woodward and Bernstein. Even Tricky Dick Nixon (Dan Hedaya) is humanized. (Gillian G. Gaar) City Centre

*The Dinner Game
Written and directed by the master of the French farce, Francis Veber, The Dinner Game is an excellent comedy. The story is about a circle of well-to-do snobs who bring idiots to dinner parties to make fun of them. (Charles Mudede) City Centre

A Dog of Flanders
Period piece/kiddie fare about a wonderful boy and his wonderful dog. With Cheryl Ladd and Jon Voight (soon to be known as "Angelina Jolie's dad"). Metro, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Dudley Do-Right
Brendan "George of the Jungle" Fraser plays a stupid Canadian (wow, that's redundant!) Mountie who patrols the residents of Semi-Happy Valley. Grand Alderwood, Meridian 16, Metro

The Eruption of Mount St. Helens
The mountain blew up in 1980, and has been blowing up on film ever since. Omnidome

Everest
The first IMAX footage ever shot on top of the world. Pacific Science Center

*Eyes Wide Shut
Stanley Kubrick's last film contains an intact slice of a young couple's life (Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman): In order to study this perfect relationship, Kubrick destroys it. Guild 45th, Pacific Place 11

In Too Deep
In Too Deep is about a young police officer (the charming and very handsome Omar Epps) who is obsessed with bringing down a big drug dealer named God (LL Cool J), who ruthlessly runs a multi-million dollar crack operation in the ghettos of Cincinnati. The story is very predictable; and in terms of depth and structure, Bill Duke's 1991 film of nearly the same name, Deep Cover, did a better job on this ancient theme of friendship and betrayal. Despite obvious holes in the plot and the lack of any significant female roles, the film is beautifully photographed, so at least it's fun to watch. (Charles Mudede) Lewis & Clark, Redmond Town Center, Uptown

Into the Deep
An IMAX film in 3-D, putting you right into the aquarium. Pacific Science Center

The Iron Giant
Giant robot falls to earth, befriends a local boy, and eats lots of metal. An animated film from Warner Brothers. Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center, Uptown

The Last Laugh
To celebrate late-night host Robert Graves' birthday, the Grand Illusion will present F.W. Murnau's brilliant 1924 flick The Last Laugh. So there! Fri-Sat Sept 3-4 at 11. Grand Illusion

*Late August, Early September
Director Olivier Assayas' (Irma Vep) film about a tangled group of friends in Paris trying to deal with a mutual friend's impending death. A huge hit at the Seattle International Film Festival. Thurs Sept 2 at 4:40, 7, 9:20. Varsity Calendar

*LINDA'S SUMMER MOVIES
For truly bizarre cinema and frothy pitchers of beer, head over to Linda's back patio for a program of "Incredibly Strange Films." Titles include Peter Graves' Colon and In the Year 1999 A.D., originally made for the 1966 World's Fair. Wed Sept 8 at dusk, FREE. Linda's Tavern

The Lovers on the Bridge
A romantic drama about two artists who meet, fall in love, get drunk, and live on the Pont-Neuf in Paris. With Juliette Binoche. Fri-Thurs Sept 3-9 at (Sat-Sun 1:40), 4:20, 7, 9:35. Reviewed this issue. Varsity Calendar

Mickey Blue Eyes
Mickey Blue Eyes makes good use of Hugh Grant's strengths: his self-effacing acceptance of his masculinity and the unerring precision of his very particular sense of timing. Newly engaged to the unwitting daughter of a Mafioso (James Caan), Grant is drawn by happenstance into the shady dealings of her family. What ensues is more silly than smart, but director Kelly Makin mines Grant's wuss factor for all it's worth. You'd have to be awfully stingy not to get a few laughs out of it. (Steve Wiecking) Factoria, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Southcenter

*The Muse
Through the advice of a successful friend (Jeff Bridges), screenwriter Albert Brooks employs the services of Sharon Stone, a purported Divine Muse, in hopes that she will inspire him to write a smash comedy for Jim Carrey. Brooks takes a wily and well-deserved stab at the superficial industry that has kept him second-string for so many years. Albert Brooks has always been just as brutal to himself as he is to society, and it's this brutal quality that is somewhat lacking in The Muse, despite the fact that you probably won't find a smarter comedy this year. (Steve Wiecking) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Guild 45th, Meridian 16

Mystery Men
The Mystery Men are second-rate superheroes led by Mr. Furious (Ben Stiller), and including the Shoveler (William H. Macy), the Blue Raja (Hank Azaria), the Bowler (Janeane Garofalo), and the Spleen (Paul Reubens). The actors are great, the world of the film is bizarre and funny, but the whole thing slowly turns into a standard children's story where these makeshift superheroes need to learn to believe in themselves and work as a team. Blah. Though it ends poorly, there's still plenty of fun along the way. (Andy Spletzer) Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center, Varsity

Outside Providence
A coming-of-age tale written by those zany Farrelly Brothers, who made There's Something About Mary. With a gruff Alec Baldwin and George (Norm on Cheers) Wendt. Reviewed this issue. Metro, Pacific Place 11

The Red Violin
For their follow-up to the marvelous Thirty-Two Short Films About Glenn Gould, director François Girard and his co-writer Don McKellar have fashioned another loosely structured ode to music, this time following a legendary violin as it passes through various (well, three or four) owners before it winds up in auction. Harvard Exit

*Run Lola Run
A young Berlin hipster named Lola has 20 minutes to find enough money to stop her boyfriend from being killed. German filmmaker Tom Tykwer tells the story three times, each with different but equally incredible twists, surprises, tangents, and endings -- which is exactly what makes this movie fun to watch. (Charles Mudede) Harvard Exit, Redmond Town Center

Runaway Bride
Director Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman) reunites with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere to make another cheerful movie about two opposites who attract and (of course) end up together. What develops is typical Hollywood Lite, with plenty of the usual Julia Roberts Movie Close-Ups (the impeccable hair, that Play-Doh mouth) and adorable moments with swelling music and great clothes. What doesn't develop is any sort of credible storyline, and the viewer is left with lots of sticky sweetness and disappointment. (Min Liao) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

*The Sixth Sense
Bruce Willis plays a child psychologist who is shot by a former patient of his, now all grown up, naked, and angry for not being "cured." Months later, he's become obsessed with that failure, and his marriage is suffering. Meanwhile, he has started treating a new patient who, as you probably know from the ads, sees dead people. Though the direction of the story by M. Night Shyamalan is often obvious, the structure of his script is very smart and more than makes up for that. Most impressive is that we don't see the boy's ghosts for half the film. When we do it's quite scary, particularly knowing these are the dead people he sees all the time! (Andy Spletzer) Factoria, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

Star Wars: Episode I
The threadbare plot is nothing compared to the hype and nostalgia of the George Lucas marketing machine. (Jamie Hook) Cinerama

Summer Social & Outdoor Screening
911 Media Arts' annual members' social and cookout will include a HUGE outdoor video screening which will showcase 911-produced media, among other short films from 911's repertoire. There will also be food, drink, and groovin' DJ music. Thurs Sept 9 at 7; donation at the door. 911 Media Arts

Teaching Mrs. Tingle
Unfortunately, Kevin Williamson's directorial debut lacks the courage of its convictions, and fails to live up to its potential. Anyone familiar with Helen Mirren's work won't be surprised that she steals the film (as Mrs. Tingle, the much-hated teacher). This is partly because villains traditionally get the best lines, but Mirren's skill really comes through because of the physical limitations of the role -- her character is immobile for over half the film. Even tied up, Tingle presents a threat, for her clear-eyed assessment of other people allows her to subtly manipulate her captors. The kids might be in charge, but Tingle's still calling the shots. (Gillian G. Gaar) Meridian 16, Metro, Redmond Town Center

*The Thomas Crown Affair
One of the surprising things about the new Thomas Crown Affair is that it actually improves on the original. It manages to keep the fun tone of the '68 version and update it at the same time, which is not an easy trick. Thomas Crown is a billionaire businessman who likes to rob art museums on the side. As the film opens, he pulls off a great heist, stealing a $100 million painting. This brings a beautiful insurance investigator (Rene Russo) into town to recover the painting. She, of course, immediately suspects Thomas Crown. They fall for each other, all the while playing a flirtatious game of cat and mouse. (Bradley Steinbacher) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree

*Through the Olive Trees
The Grand Illusion's Abbas Kiarostami trilogy comes to a close at the Little Theatre with Through the Olive Trees, the concluding film that explores the making of his film that explores the suffering and aftermath of a severe earthquake in Iran. Thurs-Sun Sept 2-5 at 5:30, 7:30, 9:30. Little Theatre

Trick
Gabriel is a young, hopeful musical-comedy composer who really needs to get laid. One seemingly fortunate evening he cruises Mark, a gay exotic dancer, on the subway and thinks he's hit the jackpot. Simple as that. Or not. When director Jim Fall's feature film debut is really working (which is surprisingly often), it's smiling gently at the notion that anything between two people could ever be simple. There's some misplaced romanticism and more than a little gay fantasy involved in rooting for the Nerd and the Stripper, but Jason Schafer's amiable script is as erotic and funny as it is unlikely. (Steve Wiecking) Broadway Market

Twin Falls Idaho
As another birthday rolls around, Siamese twins Blake and Francis Falls decide to celebrate with chocolate cake and a prostitute (Michele Hicks). When she sees them, she recoils. Then, when she notices that the weaker of the two, Francis, is sick, her motherly instincts kick in. Suddenly she can see them as people. She even starts falling for Blake, the stronger of the two. Twin Falls Idaho is a good movie. It's a smart and imaginative American independent film, much more David Lynch than Kevin Smith -- less about snappy pop culture references and more about striking visuals. (Andy Spletzer) Broadway Market

Universal Soldier: The Return
Jean-Claude Van Damme returns (without Dolph Lundgren) in this sequel to the film nobody cared about to begin with. Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Redmond Town Center

Yellow Submarine
The Egyptian celebrates its return and facelift with a revival of the Beatles' musical flick Yellow Submarine, in which the band tries to save Pepperland from the Blue Meanies. With digitally restored picture and soundtrack. Wed-Thurs Sept 1-16 at (Sat-Sun-Holiday 1, 3:10), 5:20, 7:30, 9:40, (Fri-Sat 11:45). Reviewed this issue. Egyptian