THE ADVENTURES OF SEBASTIAN COLE -- Varsity Calendar

MAN OF THE CENTURY -- Grand Illusion

THE BELLS -- The Grand Illusion

FILM NOIR FOREVER -- Seattle Art Museum

GET BRUCE! -- Egyptian

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. MOGRABI -- Little Theatre

MAX OPHULS RETROSPECTIVE -- Grand Illusion

PSYCHOLOGY AND FILM -- Seattle Art Museum

SOUTH -- Egyptian

TALK CINEMA -- Pacific Place 11

UNIVERSAL SIRK -- Grand Illusion

WTO: RESISTANCE, SABOTAGE & MUSIC -- 911 Media Arts

December 10 -- Tumbleweeds, Rosetta, The Green Mile, Ride with the Devil, The Source, The Green Mile, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo

December 17 -- Anna and the King, The Cider House Rules, The War Zone, Breakfast of Champions, Stuart Little, Bicentennial Man

The Adventures of Sebastian Cole
Tod Williams' kooky tale about a young man's (Adrian Grenier) coming of age, and his discovery that his father plans to become a woman. Fri-Thurs Dec 3-9 at (Sat-Sun 2:40), 4:50, 7, 9:10. Varsity Calendar

Amazon
An IMAX examination of the lush forests and exotic animals of the Amazon river basin. Omnidome

American Beauty
Entertaining fluff. Take your typical suburban satire (midlife crisis, bitchy wife, disaffected youth), throw in some excellent performances (Kevin Spacey hams it up brilliantly, while Annette Bening and Chris Cooper give life to the most cardboard of characters), and you've got an art-house crossover film that can appeal to everybody. Even me. (Andy Spletzer) Pacific Place 11, Seven Gables

And the Joke Would Be...?
Local group Women in Film's final breakfast seminar of the year, featuring veteran TV sitcom writer Jeanne Romano, who will talk about short sitcom writing and her experiences as a staff writer on Married...with Children. Wed Dec 8 at 7:30 am (breakfast; lecture at 8 am), $20, call 447-1537 for reservations. Lake Washington Rowing Club

Anywhere But Here
Wayne Wang's Anywhere but Here tells the story of Adele (Susan Sarandon) and Ann (Natalie Portman), a mother-daughter pair who leave their cozy life in Wisconsin for Beverly Hills. The daughter is reluctant to leave her friends and family, and hates her impulsive mother for dragging her away. The mom, impatient and terrified of the stagnancy in their tiny hometown, craves more glamour and adventure for herself and Ann, and strains for a sunny California existence that simply isn't there. What could be just another sugary chick flick, in Wang's hands, manages to become something interesting, honest, and significant. (Min Liao) Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Beefcake
Thom Fitzgerald, the Canadian filmmaker who scored with The Hanging Garden a few years back, captures a different queer sensibility in Beefcake. It's inspired by Valentine Hooven's gay coffee table tome, a compulsively lip-smacking history of male erotic photography at the mid-century featuring quaint muscle mag shots and nude "studies" of a scrumptious young Joe Dallesandro, among other seductive, hungry lost boys. Dallesandro's here, along with other survivors of the naively sleazy era. They mostly comment on Bob Mizer, the enterprising founder of the Athletic Model Guild, the country's first closeted gay erotica publication headquarters which feigned an innocent obsession with health and fitness. Fitzgerald intercuts documentary material with a fictional tale of a sexy bumpkin who falls into Mizer's AMG setup, but this coy original story is not half as fascinating as the real stuff (in fact, it's a bit dumb), but engages by being as sweetly erotic and campy as Mizer's magazines. Thurs Dec 2 at 5:20, 7:30, 9:40. (Steve Wiecking) Egyptian

*Being John Malkovich
Being John Malkovich is better than most every other film out there right now because, beneath the surreal world it's so happy to exploit, there is an emotional vein that is so strong and so sad, if filmed as anything other than a comedy, the movie would be devastating. Not only does director Spike Jonze explore aspects of storytelling through filmmaking that more established directors would never think to try, not only does it thoughtfully explore philosophical issues like identity and desire (and eventually, immortality), and not only is it one of the most emotionally honest movies in theaters today, it's also damn funny and always entertaining. You gotta see it to believe it. (Andy Spletzer) Meridian 16, Neptune

The Bells
The Grand Illusion's late-night Christmas Catastro-phies series begins with this Poe-ish silent suspense flick (1926), in which an inn-keeper keeps hearing sleigh bells after he's committed a murder. With Lionel Barry-more. Fri-Sat Dec 3-4 at 11. Grand Illusion

The Best Man
Not only is this the best black film released this year, it's also the best romantic comedy. A group of college friends are reunited for the marriage of a professional football star and his college sweetheart. With the exception of the too-long wedding scene at the end, the movie is simply delightful. Directed by Malcolm Lee (Spike Lee's cousin), this is a strong debut full of good writing and superb performances. (Charles Mudede) Lewis & Clark, Uptown

The Bone Collector
The trailer for this film is grossly unfair. The Bone Collector is not that bad. The story concerns a brilliant NYPD detective (Denzel Washington), confined to his bed after a work-related accident, always afraid a sudden seizure will turn him into a vegetable. He decides life is not worth living, that he will not recover, and that death is better than becoming a "zucchini." But suddenly there is a brutal but brilliant criminal menacing New York City, and a beautiful woman (Angelina Jolie) to help him catch this psycho. Now life has meaning! In the end, he gets the criminal and the girl without ever leaving his bed. By the way, if you are expecting Denzel to kiss the lady lead, you will again be disappointed. As the woman sitting next to me at the screening said: "Damn! They only touch hands! In Pelican Brief he just got a big hug, and in Virtuosity he saved the white lady and her daughter and still he didn't get some!" (Charles Mudede) Aurora Cinema Grill, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Redmond Town Center

Boys Don't Cry
Boys Don't Cry pushes myriad societal hot buttons. Sexuality. Gender. Masculinity. Why we even care about such labels is an indication of how frightened we are about ambiguities. Boys Don't Cry is based on the true story of Brandon Teena, a girl who was murdered for living life as a boy. Hilary Swank, a Bellingham native, imbues Brandon with an infectious charisma, but the rest of the film could be seen as an indictment of the American psyche. Boys Don't Cry is not an easy film to watch; the rape and subsequent murder are unrelentingly harsh. Even the reason the story is "interesting" is depressing: Had Brandon been a real man killed in a senseless murder, his death wouldn't have merited one national headline. (Gillian G. Gaar) Broadway Market

Dogma
Of course, the controversy surrounding Kevin Smith's new film is overblown. Sure, God is a woman (Alanis Morissette), the Christ-figure (Linda Fiorentino) works in an abortion clinic, new characters like the 13th Apostle (Chris Rock) and a muse-turned-stripper (Salma Hayek) are added characters, but it's all a way for Smith to ruminate on the importance of faith. The plot begins when two angels who have been kicked out of heaven find a loophole that'll get them back in. Other angels believe their return would prove the fallibility of God, and negate existence. I never bought this premise (besides, The Prophecy took the idea of jealous angels striving to regain God's attention to a bigger and better extreme), but even so, Dogma has some nice ideas -- particularly about the vengeance of the Old Test-ament God. (Andy Spletzer) Grand Alderwood, Guild 45th, Uptown

End of Days
Gabriel Byrne is the devil! Arnold is an alcoholic cop out to stop him! Yeeeeeeeehaw! Reviewed this issue. Cinerama, Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

The Eruption of Mount St. Helens
The mountain blew up in 1980, and has been blowing up on film ever since. Omnidome

Everest
The first IMAX footage ever shot on top of the world. Pacific Science Center

Felicia's Journey
Director Atom Egoyan (The Sweet Hereafter) excels at stories of older men who are lost within themselves, and Felicia's Journey is no exception. Bob Hoskins is a classy chef working in a factory cafeteria who has many unresolved issues with his dear dead mum. When he meets young Felicia, who's knocked up and looking for the dad, he helps her out. Then his help becomes a tad more sinister. (Andy Spletzer) Harvard Exit

*Fight Club
With Fight Club, David Fincher has made his best film yet, taking a bleak story -- written in the first person with a detached sense of humor -- and matching its tone perfectly. A disenfranchised guy (Edward Norton), hooked on support groups for the terminally ill, gets a grade-school crush on a fellow support group tourist (Helana Bonham Carter), then meets a rebel (Brad Pitt) with whom he starts a masochistic fight club. (Andy Spletzer) Meridian 16, Metro

FILM NOIR FOREVER
SAM's popular series continues with Five Against the House (1955), starring Guy Madison and the always-lovely Kim Novak (Thurs Dec 9 at 7:30). Call 625-8900 for more details. Seattle Art Museum

Flawless
Philadelphia for the Van Damme set. Robert DeNiro is a homophobic ex-cop who suffers a stroke; Philip Seymour Hoffman is the drag queen he goes to for singing lessons (a form of speech therapy). The acting is atrociously bad (DeNiro's affected speech only a hair more annoying than Hoffman's inability to straighten his wrists), the characters are sloppy caricatures, the plot holes gape wide enough to lose yourself in, the look of the film is cluttered and garish -- yet none of these take the cake as the most embarrassingly stupid aspect of the story. That comes from finally having the two men bond by teaming up to dispatch a pair of vicious drug dealers looking for stolen drug money. Joel Schumacher's quest to go down in history as the worst movie director ever continues apace. (Bruce Reid) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Metro, Pacific Place 11

Get Bruce!
A behind-the-scenes look at zany, sought-after Hollywood comic writer Bruce Vilanch. With heaping praise from Billy Crystal, Bette Midler, Whoopi Goldberg, and other Hollywood caricatures who aren't so funny anymore. Fri-Tues Dec 3-7 at (Sat-Sun 2, 3:50), 5:40, 7:30, 9:20. Egyptian

*Happy Birthday Mr. Mograbi
A documentary with "parallel stories": as Israel prepares and anticipates Independence Day celebrations, the filmmaker, Avi Mograbi, experiences personal and financial troubles in the midst of his filmmaking process. Co-presented by the American Jewish Committee's Jewish Film Festival. Thurs-Sun Dec 2-5 at 5:30, 7:30, 9:30. Reviewed this issue. Little Theatre

*The Insider
Despite the ad campaigns, The Insider is not an indictment of big, evil tobacco. The real story is about bungled journalism and broken integrity, with a healthy dose of paranoia thrown in for good measure. As a big-budget Hollywood drama, perhaps even as a thriller, The Insider is just about as perfect as you can get. Mann is one of the best technical directors around, able to put together a glossy-looking film without it appearing like one big commercial. However, though meant to be a cautionary tale about media accountability and how easily good journalism can be corrupted, The Insider is far too slick, and comes across as typical Hollywood mayhem instead of the "based-on-actual-events" drama originally intended. (Bradley Steinbacher) Aurora Cinema Grill, Factoria, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Metro, Redmond Town Center

Island of the Sharks
Island of the Sharks works hard to find some stunning imagery, and succeeds. One of the most breathtaking shots is beneath a large school of hammerhead sharks, a fish whose appearance is both disturbing and compelling. Don't worry if you're faint-hearted, though; the film's violence is boringly PG, mostly. (Gillian G. Gaar) Pacific Science Center

Light it Up!
What were they thinking? Everybody knows we need a Republican president before anyone can sell a students-under-siege, pro-militia movie like this. Lewis & Clark

*The Limey
In Steven Soderbergh's latest, fading '60s icon Terence Stamp plays an unstoppable force of vengeance searching for the person responsible for killing his daughter. (Andy Spletzer) Broadway Market

*Man of the Century
There is a tension that runs throughout this film; one of an idea that shouldn't work, but a movie that does. Johnny Twennies (Gibson Frazier) writes a newspaper column for the Sun-Telegram. He's a hard-boiled reporter straight out of the '20s or '30s, but living in the '90s. Normally, this kind of character is a modern-day geek who idolizes the era so much he only thinks he's living in it, but here he actually is such a character, transported in time. That means besides his puritan morality and a lexicon of anachronistic phrases, he can actually throw a punch and beat up bad guys. His powers are put to the test when he's challenged both by mobsters who want to force him to write a corrupt article and a girlfriend who wants to have sex. What makes this story work, however, is more than simple story devices -- it's energy. Frazier throws himself into the title role with such enthusiasm, such relish, that by the end of the film everybody -- characters and audience alike -- is infected by it. This is good, indie-film fun. Fri-Thurs Dec 3-16 at (Sat-Sun 3), 5, 7, 9. (Andy Spletzer) Grand Illusion

*Mansfield Park
This adaptation of Jane Austen's novel tells the story of Fanny Price, a precocious girl from a poor family sent to live with wealthy relatives, who treat her special gentility as nothing more than the pretensions of a greedy beggar. Indomitable in the face of societal and familial restraints, she opens herself up to the wonders and sorrows of the world, maturing into a clever writer and gaining the devotion of her beloved Edmund. With Austen a perplexingly hot commodity for the past few years, it's a valid concern to worry what new angle anyone could possibly bring to the author's cunning romantic satires. Mansfield Park, though, has an unusual slant, highlighting class degradation and sexual frankness, and expanding the book's passing references to the slave trade as supple counterpoints to Fanny's plight. (Steve Wiecking) Harvard Exit

Mark Twain's America in 3D
Officially the scariest title currently at the IMAX Theater. Pacific Science Center

*MAX OPHULS RETROSPECTIVE
The Grand Illusion's weekend matinee series pays tribute to Ophul's elegant signature style, which included fluid shots, sensuous technique, and fancy Cinema-Scope footwork. The first film is Leibelei, which looks at the predicament of a young Austrian officer caught having an affair; other Ophul classics (including Lola Montes and The Earrings of Madame De) will be shown in the following weeks. Sat-Sun Dec 4-5 at noon. Reviewed this issue. Grand Illusion

The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc
It's your basic French epic: Girl has visions from God, girl leads French armies to victory, girl gets burned at the stake. This is actually a remake of Braveheart, the only differences being that The Messenger's battle scenes are not as good (though there are some hilarious Monty Python-style decapitations), and Milla Jovovich is prettier than Mel Gibson. (Andy Spletzer) City Centre, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

Music of the Heart
Meryl Streep plays Roberta Guaspari, a woman who taught inner city kids how to play violin, then had a documentary and a big feature film made out of her story. Unfortunately, they've taken the film crews out of the story. Lewis & Clark, Metro, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Olympic Glory
International athletes and adrenaline junkies show off their skills and defy gravity at the 1998 Winter Olympics in Nagano. Omnidome

Pokémon
Reviewed by 9-year-old film critic Sam Lachow: "I would give the movie four stars. It was just like, at the, um, beginning, it was kind of boring. And Mewtwo was kind of like, he was weird. I like how it showed Mewtwo, like what he really is. He was really bad. There wasn't enough pokémons. Some parts were a little boring, but when they got to that big war -- when Ashe was walking out, and saying, 'I'm not gonna let you do this,' I thought it was dramatic. I kinda liked the ending, but it wasn't really alot like a happy ending.... No victory, like the person didn't faint, or anything." (Compiled by Jamie Hook) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

*Princess Mononoke
As anyone who's seen a Hayao Miyazaki film will attest, the story you follow is secondary to the sights you behold. The craggy reality of his twisting tree trunks capped with windblown tufts of leaves; the weighty presence of the rocks, whether rough or slicked smooth by water; the breathtaking vividness of light when the clouds part; the crouched expectancy of animals at rest -- all of these are rendered as gorgeously as any animation I've ever seen, and in fact make a better plea for ecological sanity than the sometimes heavy-handed script. The only downside to how glorious Miyazaki's images are is that he knows it, and occasionally lingers too long. (Bruce Reid) Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center, Varsity

PSYCHOLOGY AND FILM
The Northwest Alliance for Psychoanalytic Study's monthly film series pays tribute to solid mental health by exploring how we relate and respond to beauty and aesthetics. This month, the legendary Akira Kurosawa's Dersu Uzala (1975) -- a gorgeously photographed tale of unlikely friendship and an exchange of ideas between a Russian and a Mongolian in Siberia -- will be shown to promote your emotional well-being. Fri Dec 3 at 7, $7. Seattle Art Museum

Rosie
A sympathetic look at a young girl from the wrong side of the tracks, and the trouble she gets herself into. Thurs Dec 2 at 4:50, 7, 9:10. Varsity Calendar

*Showgirls w/ David Schmader
Showgirls, the Paul Verhoeven/Joe Eszerhas (also known as Team T&A) debacle, has achieved a tremendous cult following among those who love camp and catfights. So who better to narrate the film, Mystery Science Theatre-style, than Stranger columnist Dave Schmader? It'll be a scream. We promise. Thurs Dec 9 at 8, ONE SHOW ONLY. Little Theatre

*The Sixth Sense
A little boy sees dead people while Bruce Willis sees his marriage disintegrate. Aurora Cinema Grill, Meridian 16

Sleepy Hollow
Johnny Depp plays Constable Ichabod Crane, sent to upstate New York in order to solve a rash of beheadings utilizing his newfangled "forensic science." The year is 1799, and the townsfolk believe the Headless Horseman is behind all these killings. Turns out they're right. Tim Burton's latest film is as dark as the original Grimms fairy tales, full of witches, stormy nights, and lots and lots of beheadings. Really, it's impressive just how many heads get cut off. The horseman's vengeance is tied in with a conspiracy of the town elders, and it's up to Crane and the bewitching Katrina Van Tassel (Christina Ricci) to uncover their secrets. The deadpan politeness and mannered acting style is often amusing, but it keeps the movie from becoming rip-roaring fun. Still, I liked it. (Andy Spletzer) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Guild 45th, Meridian 16, Oak Tree

*South
This recently restored documentary (new 35mm print) of the legendary Antarctica expedition by Ernest Shackleton and his crew is eerie. Eerie not because it is so old (the journey took place between 1914 and 1916) or distant (who believes Antarctica exists? It is a fantastic country made of icebergs), but because it captures the slow and ugly death of a great empire. This expedition was Great Britain's final voyage, its farewell to 400 years of domination. This documentary, filmed by Frank Hurley, shows the Endurance's (the ship's name) terrible demise in this world of ice and penguins. For those seeking a survival epic, this is not the film; for those who love to see the sad and sorry end of great things, this is a must-see. Wed-Thurs Dec 8-9 at 5, 7, 9. (Charles Mudede) Egyptian

*The Straight Story
Rather than making the journey of hundreds of miles on a riding mower a quixotic, life-defining quest, The Straight Story is even more about an interesting but unremarkable road trip taken by a quite remarkable man. David Lynch's name is so synonymous with violence and twisted sex that it's sometimes hard to remember that nearly everything he's done has been about decent people who were seduced, often literally possessed, by an evil force outside themselves. (Bruce Reid) Broadway Market

T-Rex: Back to the Cretaceous
The 3D FX are so realistic, you'll swear you can feel the breath of Big Mama TR, and no matter how many times you've seen 3D films, you'll still be hard pressed to not duck when boulders and dino bones come whizzing straight at you. (Gillian G. Gaar) Pacific Science Center

Talk Cinema
A Sunday morning series devoted to "secretly" screening upcoming independent, art house, and foreign films. Post-film discussions are moderated by guest speakers. Sun Dec 5 at 10 am, $15; call 800-551-9221 for more details. Pacific Place 11

*Toy Story 2
In the tradition of The Empire Strikes Back, Aliens, and Bride of Frankenstein, Toy Story 2 is a sequel that's even better than the original. A clear factor of the original film's success was its status as an animated film that not only appealed to the family market, but also struck a chord with adults who'd never even think of having children. As a result, the follow-up film's storyline has been tweaked toward a more adult sensibility (though it'll still be fun for any squalling brats you have as well). Be-cause this is essentially a kids' film, the outcome's a foregone conclusion, but it's still a total blast, from its trick beginning to its all-is-well ending -- even the bad guys don't get punished in a mean way. Most ingeniously, the film manages to poke fun at mass consumerism and collector-mania while still inducing a desire to purchase at least one of the film's toys. (Gillian G. Gaar) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

*UNIVERSAL SIRK
The Grand Illusion's celebration of Douglas Sirk -- the undisputed master of melodrama -- crashes to a tragic end on Thurs Dec 2 with Tarnished Angels and Imitation of Life. Not to be missed. Grand Illusion

The World Is Not Enough
Poor Pierce Brosnon. In his third Bond outing, he finally gets the whole secret agent act down, even giving classic Bond Sean Connery a run for his money, only to watch it undermined by an inept director. The fact that said director is classy Brit Michael Apted only adds a dash of salt to the wound. The World Is Not Enough has some of the best bad guys Bond has seen in years, only they're not given anything to do. Instead, the story tosses in Denise Richards as a nuclear scientist in hot pants, and the rest of the film is pure paint-by-numbers. Apted proves to be so bad at directing action that even when Brosnon and Richards are disarming a nuclear bomb aboard some sort of speeding tunnel contraption at 70 mph, I was forced to stifle a yawn. Even the flashy credit sequence is dull. After 19 films, maybe grandpa needs to go to bed. (Bradley Steinbacher) Factoria, Meridian 16, Metro, Northgate, Redmond Town Center, Southcenter

WTO: Resistance, Sabotage & Music
Two-hour video documentary that traces the history of radical resistance to industrial capitalism. Thurs Dec 2 at 7, $4. 911 Media Arts