Little Nicky, Men of Honor, Non-Stop, Pola X, Red Planet, The Wind Will Carry Us

The Atrocity Exhibition
An adaptation of the J. G. Ballard novel, this cinematic hallucination had Mr. Ballard himself singing its praises--and he's an old curmudgeon! Thurs-Sun Nov 2-5; see review this issue. Little Theatre

Charlie's Angels
Tits! Ass! Intrigue! This re-make of the TITular series is pASSionately faithful to the BOOB-tube mentality. Opens Fri Nov 3. Metro

*The DECALOGUE
The Ten Commandments are transformed into 10 hours of cinema that we command you to see. Opens Fri Nov 3; see review this issue. Varsity Calendar

*Deseret
James Benning remains one of our best undiscovered filmmakers. His unique style, which mixes together elements of documentary, landscape photography, and narration, owes more to the cinema of Kiarostami or Malick than that of Hollywood. Deseret, his eighth film, is a masterful exploration of the territory of Utah. The film unfolds as 93 separate stories about Utah culled from the pages of The New York Times. Each sentence in a story is matched with a shot in the film, but the relationship between word and picture is never more precise than that: It is an abstract marriage, despite its formality. Exquisitely rendered, difficult, and completely rewarding. Plays as part of Consolidated Works' Imagined Landscapes series. (Jamie Hook) Sat-Sun Nov 4-5. Consolidated Works

Kitten With a Whip
Ahh, teen delinquent films! What a rich genre! There are two joys to be had in these films: 1) The titles seldom have anything to do with the content. For example, there is no "whip" in Kitten With a Whip, and nobody really calls Ann-Margret "Kitten." 2) The plots to all teen delinquent films are the same: A group of kids, on the run from a reform school or a juvenile detention center, wind up in a nice family's house and turn it upside-down. Kitten With A Whip plugs a young Ann-Margret into this role, and she BURNS THE PLACE DOWN! Car wrecks, negligées, stabbings, and liquor bottles make this archetypal delinquent film, which has never been released on video, a must-see for the schlock-film crowd! (Jamie Hook) Fri-Sat Nov 3-4. Grand Illusion

The Legend of Bagger Vance
The brutal, cutthroat world of professional golf is the backdrop for this retelling of the myth of Krishna and the warrior Karna--NO SHIT! In fact, the film has been protested by some Hindu temples, concerned with how it manipulates the teachings of the Krishna into a typical Hollywood schlock-fest, claiming the title is a disrespectful joke: Bagger Vance does sound just like Bhagavad Gita, doesn't it? Opens Fri Nov 3. Metro

*LEOS CARAX DOUBLE FEATURE
Bad Blood (1986), shown with Boy Meets Girl (1983). Opens Fri Nov 3; see Stranger Suggests. Grand Illusion

*Ninth Annual Polish Film Festival
The annual Polish Film Festival is one of my favorites. Obscure, but impeccably programmed, the festival frequently brings leading Polish directors (you probably haven't heard of them) to Seattle to present their work. This year's opening night presents two luminaries, directors Andrzej Fidyk and Olaf Lubaszenko, for a double bill of their films Reed Dance and Guys Don't Cry. Other highlights include: a nine-film tribute to the unstoppable, momentous Andrzej Wajda; a film by Poland's comic treasure Jerzy Stuhr from a screenplay by the late Kieslowski; and this year's Polish Best Picture winner, The Debt. Twenty-five features in all, presented at the Broadway Performance Hall. (Jamie Hook) Opens Fri Nov 3; for specific program information, contact Scarecrow Video at 524-8554. Broadway Performance Hall

Ocean Drive
Noir staple Edmond O'Brien (D.O.A) stars in this thriller whose central plot--a telephone repairman helping thugs to run an illegal wire-serviced bookie joint--was the inspiration for the famous centerpiece of The Sting. The great finale, on top of the Hoover Dam, owes more than a nod to Hitchcock. Plays as part of the "Shadowlands" series at SAM. Thurs Nov 2. Note: Though the series is sold out, there may be some tickets left on the night of the show. Arrive early. Seattle Art Museum

Requiem For a Dream
The yuks keep flying in this Disney-produced user's manual for heroin addiction. Opens Fri Nov 3; see review this issue. Neptune

Ride
Nissan Pathfinder presents Warren Miller's totally EXTREME 51st film, packed with mind-blowing snowboarding scenes and unparalleled demographic cred! Fri-Sun Nov 3-5. 5th Avenue Theater

A Room for Romeo Brass
The opening scene of A Room for Romeo Brass is a nicely observed conversation between two young teen friends, honestly prickly but affectionate as they bicker back and forth about one's weight problem and the other's almost crippling back condition. Though Andrew Shim and Ben Marshall are charming as the leads, director Shane Meadows follows up this engaging beginning with mindlessly stylized music-video moments and a bizarre decision to take his slight story down some nasty paths after the boys befriend Morell (Paddy Considine, also fine), a mentally disturbed young man who has taken a fancy to Shim's older sister. Meadows is admirably sympathetic toward all his characters, even the increasingly violent and threatening Morell, and he has a knack for sweet, rambling comedy; unfortunately, those moments are drowned out by an ill thought-out plot that's more confused than even-handed. (Bruce Reid) Opens Fri Nov 3. Broadway Market

SEATTLE HUMAN RIGHTS FILM FESTIVAL 2000
Not for the blissfully ignorant or the faint of heart. This series of political and often disturbing films runs the gamut of human rights issues, examining violence, hardship, and struggle all over the world while you plant your ass in a soft, plush theater seat. Thurs-Sun Oct 2-5, call 682-6552 for more info. 911 Media Arts

Smoking
I will be paid exactly $15 for this blurb. This movie was two and 1/2 hours long and I was parked in a two-hour parking zone. I will pay exactly $25 for my parking ticket. That is to say, if I'm not late with my payment, for then it becomes $45. And what is doubly disappointing is that it all started out so lovely. With the film's onset, I was in a garden with painted backdrops and animated stills between scenes. It felt like jumping into a children's book with birds chirping and the sun so bright the set began to take on the hazy quality that fills a child's imagination, even though it was a very adult film. But the movie became inextinguishable, indifferent to my bladder, interruptive of my day, and inconsequential to my life. I realized in the minute I burst from the theater that the film's only link to smoking is one MUST have a cigarette after sticking to the bitter end. (Paula Gilovich) Sat-Sun Nov 4-5. Grand Illusion

*Wild Style
A faithful preservation of the underground hiphop scene of the early '80s. Wed Nov 8; see Stranger Suggests. JBL Theater at EMP

*WOMEN IN CINEMA FILM FESTIVAL
A week of films by these mysterious, almost mythical creatures known colloquially as "women." Opens Fri Nov 3; see review this issue. Visit www.seattlefilm.com for . Cinerama, Egyptian

Almost Famous
The truth of the matter is that this movie is nothing more and nothing less than a light and entertaining crowd-pleaser. Which is fine. Good, even. It's just that for a rock 'n' roll tour film set in 1973, the content comes across as so... clean--like R-rated content in a PG-13 package. (Andy Spletzer) Aurora Cinema Grill, Meridian 16, Metro, Redmond Town Center

Bamboozled
Spike Lee's most ambitious race film yet, and, as a consequence, his worst film to date--is about a 21st-century minstrel show that becomes a huge hit for a small upstart TV network. The film is terrible at every level--monological instead of democratic, preachy instead of complex, and, worst of all, it dances to the ring of the cash register. (Charles Mudede) Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

*Bedazzled
Stumbling across Bedazzled is like finding a bucket full of moonshine in the woods. It's not that the film is great, but it's awfully nice to meander into something that is simply, confidently good. Plus, I never knew that Brendan Fraser was HILARIOUS! His goofy, unrestrained performance as a schmuck making Faustian deals with the devil (all tits and ass and Elizabeth Hurley) is a joy to behold--humble, manic, tidy, and sloppy all at once. I especially loved him as a sweaty, dim basketball player. It helps that the film is underpinned by the wit of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, who wrote and starred in the original British version in 1967. (Jamie Hook) Factoria, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center, Southcenter

*Best In Show
Christopher Guest's latest with Eugene Levy follows several dog owners on their quest for the blue ribbon at the 2000 Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show. A well-executed, ridiculous little film lovingly mining ridiculous little people's ridiculous little lives. (Jason Pagano) Broadway Market, Grand Alderwood, Redmond Town Center, Seven Gables

*Billy Elliot
When I watch British films it is with the full intent of hating them and then later using my reviews to deliver mini-blows to my former colonizers. But 30 minutes into this film, I gave in; there was no way I could hate it. As the BBC put it, "you are heartless if you don't love every minute of this film"--and I'm not heartless. I must make a confession: I almost cried during this film--yes, it's that touching. (Charles Mudede) Guild 45th

Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows
A bunch of Blair Witch Project groupies pay to go on a tour of the infamous Black Hills of Burkittsville, Maryland, to see the sites from their favorite movie. Just like in the first film, though, the characters' obsession with documenting their experiences eventually turns against them, and the film ultimately becomes something akin to a dream sequence, where no one knows what's real and what's not. There's no real psychological drama, no inexplicable creepiness, none of that Jesus-why-am-I-so-scared brilliance. This film is so bad, no amount of high-priced marketing tools, glitzy trailers, live webcasts, or star-studded soundtrack CDs can save it. (Melody Moss) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Northgate, Pacific Place 11

The Broken Hearts Club
Let's be frank: This film is so profoundly awful that it inadvertently succeeds in performing the tremendous social service of euthanizing the subgenre of the once-viable "gay film." God, it's bad. I will waste your time by telling you that the film is about a group of gay men in L.A. looking for meaning in their lives. But I can write no more. This film simply doesn't deserve it. (Jamie Hook) Harvard Exit

The Contender
In this Hollywood version of the Lewinsky affair (with the Clinton character recast as a woman), the Democrats make all the great speeches you wish they'd made during the 104th Congress and the Republicans are as simply evil and as plainly hypocritical as you wish they were. The first hour of the movie--featuring murders, behind-the-scenes White House meetings, strong arm politicking, and secret memos--is actually a blast, but once the trite sermonizing kicks in, you'll start wishing they'd just cut to more footage of the sex scandal. (Josh Feit) Bay Majestic, Factoria, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Dancer in the Dark
Dancer in the Dark is a wonderful film in theory. In exposition, however, it suffers gravely from director Lars von Trier's ingrained contrarian aesthetic and growing avant-garde laziness. When the film is not wantonly sadistic, it is simply sloppy in a poorly thought-out way. While von Trier maintains his unique facility for the direction of small, crying women, his other tricks seem woefully inadequate for pulling off the feat he sets out to accomplish. (Jamie Hook) Harvard Exit

Digimon: The Movie
Digimon was a very weird movie, at least that's what I thought because I don't know anything about Digimon. The movie was pretty boring, but there were some cool parts, like when the Digimon digevolved; the music gets louder, and the Digimon become something even cooler than what they were before. The animation was pretty cool, but not as good as I thought it would look. Now that I've seen this movie I like Digimon a little more and I know a lot more about it than I did before. So people who love Digimon will probably like this movie but I don't want to see it again. (Sam Lachow, nine years old) Grand Alderwood

Dr. T & the Women
Robert Altman's newest film is a mishmash of the most frustrating variety. There is a great intro set in the lobby of Richard Gere's gynecological practice, and the coda at the end is amusing, but overall the picture is uneven (this is Altman, after all), and the joke--a man surrounded by the multiplicitous insanity of women--wears thin a bit too soon. (Jamie Hook) Aurora Cinema Grill, Meridian 16, Metro

*The Exorcist
Though the re-release of The Exorcist is unlikely to leave the same mark it did in 1973--when audience members purportedly vomited and ran screaming from theaters across the globe--it is nevertheless a great excuse to see the film in a dark theater, with the surround-sound effects of a remastered soundtrack. (Melody Moss) Cinerama

Get Carter
Mike Hodges' 1971 thriller Get Carter may be no masterpiece, but it's a cool, ruthless little gem, as sharp and gleaming as a whetted knife blade. Stephen Kay's remake, on the other hand, is all flashing lights, showy video effects, and rapid, incoherent editing. Mickey Rourke wears his muscle shirts and neon bright sunglasses with flair; maybe he should have starred. (Bruce Reid) City Centre

Human Resources
The film would be a real treat on TV: Telling the simple tale of an eager young idealist trying to reform management at a small-town factory while his working-class family and upbringing crumble around him,

Human Resources is well acted and admirably realistic. But the film is lost on the big screen--too humble, too simple, visually uninspired. Why it was chosen over other, finer fare for the Shooting Gallery's prestigious film series is beyond me. (Jamie Hook) Uptown

The Ladies Man
This loose and loopy extended sketch about lisping Lothario Leon Phelps has all the slippery charm of a circa-'70s polyester shirt. Carried by the unlikely but undeniable charisma of SNL regular Tim Meadows and a script that seems almost accidental, this cinematic equivalent of a bag of bar nuts manages to coax forth just enough laughs to make a matinee viewing worthwhile. (Tamara Paris) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Legend of the Drunken Master
Jackie Chan's best film is his 1979 breakout Drunken Master. This sequel from 1994 captures much of the high energy and goofy humor of that classic, and adds a greatly expanded budget that allows for some impressive sets, which the actors leap about and smash up to their hearts' content. Check out Chan's nimble leap up a wall and through an open transom; when you've picked your jaw up off the floor, remind yourself that's what movies are all about. (Bruce Reid) Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

The Little Vampire
The Little Vampire is a magical and funny movie but I wouldn't recommend it to children under seven because it is pretty scary. The movie is about a kid that finds vampires and helps them find a certain stone so they can turn into humans. The vampires do all they can to defeat the vampire killer and get the stone before he does. Opens Fri Oct 27. (Sam Lachow, nine years old) Meridian 16, Metro, Redmond Town Center

Lost Souls
Starring Ben Chaplin as an unwitting Antichrist and Winona Ryder as the black-eyed, whispery mope who must convince him of his impending demonic possession. The few moments of suspense toward the end don't make up for the dull, plodding, wreck of a script, and it would take a superhuman suspension of disbelief to swallow the ridiculous plot lines. (Melody Moss) Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Meet the Parents
Ben Stiller plays Greg, a male nurse living in an unnamed metropolis about to pop the question to Pam, his kindergarten-teacher girlfriend. But he realizes in the nick of time that he must first ask her father (played with vicious delicacy by Robert De Niro) for permission. But wait! Complications invariably ensue, and each new catastrophic development drives a wedge ever deeper twixt Greg and his beloved. (Tamara Paris) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Guild 45th, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

Nurse Betty
Betty, a diner waitress, settles comfortably into a thick confusion after accidentally witnessing her sleazy husband's murder. She instantly blocks out reality, and decides to drive from Fair Oaks, Kansas to Los Angeles in pursuit of her favorite soap-opera character, "Dr. David Ravell," whom she believes is her long-lost true love. Surprisingly disappointing. (Min Liao) Aurora Cinema Grill, Uptown

Pay It Forward
After having been instructed by his social studies teacher to make the world a more benevolent place, Haley Joel Osment starts at the bottom, where the bums live amid burning oil cans, of course. About five minutes into his effort, Osment thinks he's failed and that the world is, in fact, shit. It's a performance that'll probably earn somebody an Oscar, but it just made me feel like kicking a kid in the teeth. (Kathleen Wilson) Factoria, Majestic Bay, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Remember the Titans
Remember the Titans is set in the early '70s and based on real life, real people, the real America. The movie is actually fascinating--not because it's well done or acted (nothing stands out in that regard), but because it has the manic pace of The Rock coupled with the content of Do The Right Thing. Now how in the world can you top that? (Charles Mudede) Bay Majestic, Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11

A Time for Drunken Horses
Here's a carefully understated little melodrama about the bleak lives of children in Kurdistan--a chance to see into a world otherwise unknown (or at best mysterious) to us, handsomely photographed with a great soundtrack. And yet I know that most American moviegoers won't watch a foreign movie that ends on only the faintest note of hope, no singing violins, no jeweled sunset. (Barley Blair) Uptown

Two Family House
An inoffensive romantic comedy set in the '50s, with racial stereotypes as broad yet as bland as any sitcom, Two Family House portrays how even a perpetual loser harried by a shrewish Italian wife can find happiness with a fetching Irish girl. Michael Rispoli, an appealing schlub who is battered but not beaten by life, dreams of opening his own bar, but his wife does her best to squash this latest scheme. When upstairs tenant Kelly Macdonald gives birth to a half-black baby, she's thrown out in the street; guilty Rispoli chases after her with cash and advice. What happens from there is predictable, albeit in a charmingly laid-back and easygoing way. (Bruce Reid) Broadway Market

The Yards
Leo Handler is a street kid freshly released from prison after taking the fall for his friend Willie Gutierrez. He wants to get his life back on track, and appeals to his influential Uncle Frank (James Caan) for work at his train repair company, then finds himself drawn into a downward spiral of corruption, violence, and familial betrayal. It is only in the last few minutes of the film that Gray's minimalist instinct derails, as each plot point is rushed ruthlessly toward completion. Characters dash about brandishing guns and plummet willy-nilly over balconies at the cost of the delicate, melancholy truth the rest of this worthwhile film so elegantly evokes. Opens Fri Oct 27. (Tamara Paris) Meridian 16, Varsity