Audition, Bandits, Corky Romano, Iron Monkey, My First Mister

* 2001: A Space Odyssey
Reviewed this issue. Kubrick's classic meditation about time, space, and evolution returns, all tricked out with remastered sound and restored picture. Pauline Kael must be spinning in her grave. Cinerama

Damah Film Festival
In a month of local film festivals (Seattle Underground, Seattle Lesbian and Gay, Olympia) comes this L.A.-based two-day fest that "celebrates the spiritual dimension of life in the 21st century." Consisting largely of shorts, the Damah fest will award cash prizes based on "the power of the story being told," rather than technical or artistic merit. For more info: www.damah.com. JBL Theater at EMP

* Fairy Tales
See Stranger Suggests. Portland's Tiny Picture Club brings its magical brand of whimsy to Hokum Hall. Expect to see Super 8 versions of classic fables like "Goldilocks and the Three Bears," as well as modern revisions in the vein of "Little Red: Ridin' in the Hood." Hokum Hall

* Friends Forever
Friends Forever is a two-piece noise band whose stage is a Volkswagen Bus loaded with drums, amps, strobe lights, and a smoke machine. The two musicians play wherever they can get a parking spot, and only for as long as it takes for someone (usually a store owner or a cop) to beg or command them to stop. Friends Forever is the bizarre, hilarious, and intellectually curious lo-fi film that tells their story. Though the first half consists mainly of a gleeful tour documentary--following the two guys, their two cars, and at least two dogs through a series of bizarre, hilarious "shows"--the second half captures the poignant moment when these two champion shit-talkers begin to question their anti-everything gesture. There are times when it's hard to believe the band is real; those moments are exactly what makes the film so exciting. (Sean Nelson) JBL Theater at EMP

* The Girl at the Monceau Bakery & Suzanne's Career
Eric Rohmer's Moral Tales cycle began with these black and white 1963 shorts. The first concerns a young man (played by Barbet Schroeder) who spends his days stalking a beautiful mademoiselle on the streets of Paris, stopping only for a daily cookie. When he loses the trail of his intended, he settles for the girl behind the counter. But wouldn't you know: fate intervenes. It's very talky (pretty much all voice-over), and the "morality" is kind of a stretch, but the film gets over because it's in black and white, and Paris in 1963 can only be seen in black and white. The second gets a bit more interesting, telling a story of a love triangle and the increasing enmity between its young vectors. (Sean Nelson) Grand Illusion

Go Tigers!
This slick documentary follows the 1999 season of a high-school football team in a town whose sole reason for existing appears to be high-school football. Crisp, high-definition video plus expert editing and sound can't quite compensate for the forced sense of drama, although the glimpses of small-town boosterism are sometimes fun. Includes the best beer bong scene of 2001. (Scott McGeath) Varsity

Iron Ladies
What happens when a band of Thai cross-dressing volleyball players with a lesbian coach make it to the national championships? Why, they take it to the top, of course! Based on a true story, this rip-roaring film is a natural heir to movies like The Bad News Bears (team with heart beats slick professionals) and Priscilla Queen of the Desert (gays convince others that humanity is sexual preference-less). With a hilarious and supremely pretty cast of characters, including Nong (a soldier with the brimming eyes and bewilderment of an actress accepting an Oscar); the super-flamboyant triplets April, May, and June; and Chai, the obligatory straight-guy-who-learns-a-lesson (and happens to look a lot like an Asian Keanu Reeves). There's a bit of indulgence toward the end in sanctimonious lecturing, but I'll allow it; hell, if I were a transvestite volleyball player, I'd preach, too. (Emily Hall) Egyptian

Jabberwocky
Terry Gilliam's first film as a solo director follows the medieval bent of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Michael Palin stars as a dim peasant who goes on a quest to fell the title creature. Though the film is kind of half-baked, the inchoate genius of the filmmakers still peeks through. A pretty valuable ur-text for Gilliam fans. (Sean Nelson) Varsity

* Joyride
A taut, smart thriller directed by John Dahl, the potboiler-switcheroo auteur responsible for such gems as Red Rock West, The Last Seduction, and the very underrated Unforgettable. Steve Zahn (yay) and Paul Walker (zzz) star as two brothers on a road trip who mess around with a CB radio and unintentionally arouse the murderous ire of a psycho truck driver. By the time they pick up Leelee Sobieski (rrr), there's a cross-country chase afoot. Thanks to the gut-churning suspense factor that is Dahl's specialty, the picture seems to be building up to some barely plausible twist. But just when you're trying to figure out who's duping who, the pure modernistic thrill of seeing a big old semi bearing down on some unsuspecting youngsters kicks into high gear. Pure pulpy pleasure. (Sean Nelson) Metro

Keepers of the Fire
A documentary, presented by Dyke Community Activists and the Lesbian Resource Center, that follows the attempts of "native warrior women" of the Mohawk, Haida, Ojibwe, and Maliseet aboriginal tribes of Canada to preserve their land against loggers, golf course developers, and the government. More info: call 325-4061. 911 Media Arts Center

* La Collectionneuse
Moral Tale #3 concerns two diffident young men on a beach holiday, and the ravenous woman who comes along to tempt them. Partially an enlargement of the themes explored in Suzanne's Career, the film is also a tremendous improvement over its predecessors. You can feel Rohmer growing more confident as both writer--particularly in the self-indicting voice-over department--and director. Recommended to anyone who has ever thought that denying him- or herself on principle to another was a moral (and not a perverse) act. (Sean Nelson) Grand Illusion

Liam
Stephen Frears' period piece about a working-class Liverpool family in the '30s, struggling to keep house and home together against a tumultuous socioeconomic backdrop. Catholicism, Communism, fascism, and alcoholism take turns dueling for the attention of the title character, a scrawny, stuttering little guy who feels the weight of all the historical and personal gravitas asserting itself all over his world. The film is heavy, but well acted (by Ian Hart, especially), and worth a look. (Sean Nelson) Broadway Market

Max Keeble's Big Move
When Max learns that his family is moving in a week, he takes the opportunity to wreak havoc on all the bullies that make his junior high a living hell. Then he finds out his family isn't moving after all, goes Zen, and prepares to die. Though it's a Disney movie aimed at kids, the subject matter strikes a deep chord in the hearts of all bully victims, past and future. (Sean Nelson) Metro

* Open Screening
The monthly screening series at 911 is one of the most hit-or-miss events in town: no curators here, merely willing hosts to whoever submits a film. (For only $1, however, it's also one of the best deals.) In a way the very unevenness of the presentation reflects quite favorably on the best filmmakers, whose works truly stand out as fresh and inspiring after you've sat through three or four duds. And there are few viewing spaces as pleasant as 911, with its series of offices and studios just behind and to your right as you watch the films. Even quiet and dark, you can tell it's a place where work, much good work, gets done. Mon Sept 10. (Bruce Reid) 911 Media Arts Center

PRAHA 2000: World Bank and IMF Under Siege
A documentary about the protests against the World Bank and IMF general meeting in Prague last September, composed of interviews with trade unionists, students, anarchists, workers, pacifists, socialists, non-governmental organizations, communists, and ecologists. Also screening is the Indymedia Newsreal, documenting community activism around the country (Seattle included). Independent Media Center

* SEATTLE UNDERGROUND FILM FESTIVAL
Reviewed this issue. A festival like this is not without risk, but nothing worth doing ever is. See Movie Times for showtimes this week; go to www.seattleundergroundfilm.com for complete schedule. Grand Illusion, Little Theatre

Serendipity
John Cusack stars as John Cusack with a bad haircut, opposite the unremarkably beautiful Kate Beckinsale, in the very worst movie I've ever seen. Premise: They meet over Christmas shopping in Bloomingdales, sort of fall in love but not really, part ways, get betrothed to other people, and spend the rest of the movie trying to find each other again. Fine. The injury comes from the script relentlessly stabbing you in the gut with its transparent plot twists, maddening dialogue, and desperate "fateful coincidences." The fact that this film was ever made defies reason. If you like John Cusack, it will hurt your feelings. If you don't, it will make you want to die. (Meg van Huygen) Lewis & Clark, Majestic Bay, Metro, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

* The Tall T
The Tall T opens with a prosaic slice of life from the old West: A freckle-faced boy fetches water for Randolph Scott's horse at a stagecoach station and begs Scott to bring some candy back when he returns from town. But when Scott, who plays a former ranch foreman with a stone face and a soft heart, returns to the station, the boy and his father have been executed, their bodies stuffed down a well. Worse yet, the executioners are still at the station, and they take Scott and a wealthy couple hostage. This is by far the grimmest of director Budd Boetticher's Westerns, and despite a few outdated characters (the lead female is helpless and overemotional and one of the outlaws is a ruthless Mexican called "Chink"), the film's message of resolve and compassion in the face of senseless violence rings truer today than ever. (Nathan Thornburgh) Grand Illusion

* Token Life
A free screening of the new animated short by the filmmaker behind the semi-classic Big, Dumb, Fat, Stupid, Baby, along with several other of his works. 911 Media Arts Center

Tortilla Soup
A remake of Ang Lee's 1994 Eat Drink Man Woman. This time the focus is upon a Latino community in Los Angeles, where a retired Mexican American chef prepares lavish meals for his emotionally distraught daughters. Harvard Exit

Training Day
Denzel Washington stars as a dirty NYC copper who guides new recruit Ethan Hawke through a day in the life of a Machiavellian urban warrior. Metro

The World of Henry Orient
Peter Sellers stars as a concert pianist with the hots for Paula Prentiss. His attempts to woo her are complicated by a couple of teenage girls who spend the movie stalking him. Egyptian

American Pie II
American Pie II, unfortunately, has very little to say, which doesn't make it all bad, just not as surprising as the original. (Bradley Steinbacher) Meridian 16, Metro

* Apocalypse Now Redux
Seeing Redux is akin to hearing the Beatles' Anthology: You have to, if only out of curiosity. (Sean Nelson) Guild 45th

Bread and Tulips
Saddled with a loud, bombastic, plumbing-fixture-selling husband with a hair-trigger temper and two disaffected teenage boys, Rosalba (the utterly lovely Licia Maglietta) seems all but eclipsed by her family. When, on a summer vacation in the south of Italy, her tour bus leaves a rest stop without her, she seizes the opportunity to head home to Pescara for some quality time alone. Instead, she ends up in Venice: prime romantic real estate, yes, but also a superior place to lose yourself. (Emily Hall) Seven Gables

* Bullfighter and the Lady
Budd Boetticher, with his steely Westerns and bullfighting sagas about death and retribution, is exactly the kind of director America needs now. His career ruined his health and his marriage and even resulted in the death of one of Mexico's greatest bullfighters when Carlos Arruza and several others were slaughtered in a car crash during shooting on a film. But Boetticher's vision of bravery in the face of death shines on in films like The Bullfighter and the Lady (1950), in which a brash young American's irresponsibility brings death to a legendary bullfighter. The American, like our country today, is forced for the first time to fight for his own survival and honor. Short of giving away the ending, it should be noted that he eventually triumphs without launching a massive ground invasion of Afghanistan. (Nathan Thornburgh) Grand Illusion

The Closet
An accountant at a condom factory realizes he's about to be fired. Divorced, alienated from his 17-year-old son, he contemplates suicide, but is instead given some rather odd advice from his neighbor, a retired psychiatrist: Announce at work that you are gay, and the powers that be will be too frightened to fire you, lest they get slapped with a nasty lawsuit. The accountant takes his neighbor's advice, and, well, hilarity ensues. Or, if not hilarity, at least a few laughs here and there. (Bradley Steinbacher) Uptown, Varsity

Come Undone
While on a seaside family vacation, teenager Mathieu falls for Cédric, a free-spirited boy who is his emotional opposite. Mathieu begins a journey of self-discovery that leads him to painful choices about his family and his future. Broadway Market

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion
Woody Allen and Helen Hunt play bitter rivals at a 1940s insurance agency who, under post-hypnotic suggestion, turn into thieves, liars, and lovers. (Sean Nelson) Aurora Cinema Grill, Uptown

* The Deep End
Though it comes dressed in the icy blue clothes of a suspense thriller, The Deep End is a far more interesting creature. Using its intricate plot as shrewd camouflage, the film serves as an examination of the evolving relationship between a lonely mother and her gifted teenage son, whose sexuality (homo) is such an impenetrable subject that Mom (the ineffable Tilda Swinton) would rather navigate a murder cover-up, blackmail, and death threats than talk to the lad directly. (Sean Nelson) Harvard Exit, Oak Tree

Don't Say a Word
Don't say a word about how fucking lame this movie is? How lurid, ludicrous, and exploitative (hmm, let's see; how can we get Famke Janssen to spend an hour in her underwear?) How mannered and profligate (how you gonna waste Oliver Platt AGAIN, Hollywood?) and preposterous, verging on the obscene? Okay, I won't. It's about head shrinker Michael Douglas, his crazy girl patient (Brittany Murphy, who must be just tiny), his laid-up wife (Janssen), their daughter, and the bank robber terrorists who kidnap her. One thing though: the end, when the bad guys get buried alive in a collapsing grave, is kind of neat. Oh, wait... spoiler alert? (Sean Nelson) Factoria, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

* Down from the Mountain
This is a very good documentary, made by one of the great documentarians (D.A. Pennebaker), documenting a top-flight concert of bluegrass/old-timey hillbilly music performed by the folks who made the soundtrack to O Brother, Where Art Thou? The film is subtle and observational, offering a casual glimpse of a fine night of music made by real Nashville musicians--the kind who look like soccer moms and bartenders. In a way, Mountain is like a real-world response to the casual flippancy of Altman's Nashville, which delighted in mocking these same kind of folks. (Sean Nelson) Varsity

Extreme Days
Rumor has it that even bungee jumping, snowboarding, inline skating surfers find this movie insulting. Pacific Place 11

The Glass House
Leelee Sobieski, the gossamer young beauty who now looks less and less like a young Helen Hunt and more and more like human beauty given form, stars with Diane Lane and Stellan Skarsgard in this weak ass waste of time and talent. (Sean Nelson) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16

Glitter
Everything about this ill-conceived and clumsily constructed remake of A Star is Born seems strangely swollen: Mariah Carey's ego, her shiny cheeks (apparently stuffed with nuts), and her painfully taut breasts brimming with saline. It's no wonder the poor thing exploded and checked herself into the loony bin before the doomed premiere. (Tamara Paris) Factoria, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Haiku Tunnel
A clever little movie about a "temp" who becomes a "perm," and suddenly finds himself face-to-face with the perils of workplace commitment. Though the film is often charming and very funny, it leans very heavily on the googly eyed self-effacement of lead actor and co-writer/director Josh Kornbluth. If you don't like Kornbluth, you can't like the film. (Sean Nelson) Guild 45th

Happy Accidents
Marisa Tomei meets, woos, and beds Vincent D'Onofrio in this cinematic charmer tinged with science fiction. Is D'Onofrio really from 500 years in the future? And, more importantly--if she sleeps with him, will she become her own grandmother? Broadway Market

Hardball
Keanu Reeves plays the sleaziest man on the planet who winds up coaching a kids' baseball team in the projects so he can pay off a gambling debt. He soon becomes a decent man. At one point in the early stages of this picture's production, someone must have pointed out that this script was a bloody mess, and that it provided totally unconvincing evidence that such a foul creature (Reeves' character) could be worthy of vindication. Thus, America's best-loved idiot (Reeves proper) was brought on board to give this character an intrinsic innocuousness. Therefore the wounds of the script were left to gush untended; the anguish of the viewer is simply interminable; and the banality of poor Keanu Reeves has been raped. (Kudzai Mudede) Factoria, Meridian 16, Metro, Oak Tree, Redmond Town Center

Hearts in Atlantis
Anthony Hopkins plays a magical old geezer with the power to see the future or some shit in this new Stephen King adaptation from Scott Hicks, the guy who directed Shine. Will Hopkins (who's undeniably great... when he's not in crappy films) and the redoubtable Hope Davis be enough to redeem this heaving torrent of moist schmaltz? Factoria, Majestic Bay, Metro

Innocence
Andreas and Claire were once young lovers in post-WWII Belgium. Now, half a century later, they find themselves neighbors in Melbourne, where Andreas has been a widower for 30 years and Claire is in an agreeable though passionless marriage. Unable to resist the tug of nostalgia, they resume their tempestuous affair, much to the chagrin of their loved ones. A big hit at Cannes and SIFF alike. Harvard Exit

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is intended to be Kevin Smith's swan song to the characters (and universe) he created starting with Clerks. But as it turns out, it's more of an off-key jingle than a song. Ridiculously juvenile and often painfully unfunny, it shows Kevin Smith's true talent as a filmmaker: entertaining himself, his friends, and 13-year-old Internet geeks who think he's a god. Despite whatever protests those folks may loft to the contrary, the fact still remains that this film is a piece of shit. (Bradley Steinbacher) Meridian 16, Metro

Jeepers Creepers
A brother and sister on a road trip are hunted down by a force of evil for no particular reason. Jeepers Creepers is a welcome break from all those self-aware teen horror flicks of the '90s. Instead of trying to be clever, this movie attempts to sustain a creepy mood throughout its running time, and it nearly succeeds. With a church made of corpses, references to Duel and The Birds, and a demon villain who never explains himself, Jeepers Creepers has a lot going for it. Unfortunately, I did not find the banter between the brother and sister endearing, so I didn't care if they died or not. But maybe that's just me. Maybe you should see this movie and judge for yourself. (Andy Spletzer) Pacific Place 11

* L.I.E.
Some movies implicate their audience by making them cheer on a dastardly act. This painfully beautiful drama does the reverse: It makes us dread an event which never comes, and when it doesn't, forces us to reevaluate our feelings not just about the film and its characters, but about the moral universe they inhabit. The story concerns a young boy in Long Island whose sheltered life turns rocky, much to the delight of a neighborhood chicken hawk. But despite the potentially lurid trappings, the film is an unsettlingly sensitive dramatization of the process of growing up out of the shadow of parental protection. (Sean Nelson) Neptune

The Musketeer
The story of the Three Musketeers, done up with Crouching Tiger-style rope-and pully-acrobatics. A silly idea? Indeed. So silly it just might be brilliant. Tim Roth stars. Meridian 16, Redmond Town Center

* O
This intelligent, effective film transposes the plot and characters from Shakespeare's Othello to an American high school. This time, Othello (Odin--a very convincing Mekhi Phifer) and Iago (Hugo--Josh Hartnett, very good) are not soldiers embroiled in a war with the Turks, but the star and utility players, respectively, of a prep-school basketball team bound for the state championship. When the coach (Martin Sheen in full coronary mode), who's also Hugo's dad, favors Odin over his son, the tragic course of events is set in motion. All the big Othello themes--jealousy, love, manipulation, hearsay, and betrayal--are in the paint. (Sean Nelson) Pacific Place 11

* The Others
A well-executed gothic horror film in a Jamesian vein, starring Nicole Kidman as a postwar mom on a tiny British isle desperate not to let her new servants (including the great Fionnula Flanagan) expose her "photosensitive" children to daylight. The claustrophobic tension of the incredible house (the film's only set, and its true star) mounts through the eerie film as the truth, and like the characters' lives, unfurls methodically in this truly frightening endeavor from Spanish director Alejandro Amenabar. As an added bonus, the always-gripping Christopher Eccleston (Jude, Elizabeth) has a supporting role. (Sean Nelson) Lewis & Clark, Majestic Bay, Metro, Pacific Place 11, Redmond Town Center

Rat Race
Rat Race should not be considered an actual chase comedy, but a clone of It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Cannonball Run I and II, and Million Dollar Mystery, brought to you by a movie industry so short on ideas it's now peddling third-generation photocopies of itself to an audience raised on replicas (apologies to D.C. Berman). (Jason Pagano) Factoria, Meridian 16, Redmond Town Center

Rock Star
Mark Wahlberg returns to his Marky Mark roots as a cover-band singer who lives the ultimate cover-band singer's dream: The real band calls and asks him to join. Aurora Cinema Grill, Grand Alderwood, Meridian 16, Metro

Rush Hour 2
Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan reteam as a black cop and a Chinese cop in this sequel which, being exactly as funny and entertaining as its predecessor, transcends all critical inquiry. Zhang Ziyi, from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is in it, though. (Bradley Steinbacher) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Northgate, Redmond Town Center

* The Score
This is a fully functional, if perfunctory heist film that benefits greatly from its attention to the procedure of safecracking and breaking and entering, to say nothing of the utterly relaxed brilliance of its three lead actors, Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, and best of all, Marlon Brando. (Sean Nelson) Meridian 16

Soul Survivors
This much delayed teen horror flick starring Wes Bentley, Casey Affleck, Eliza Dushku, Luke Wilson, and Melissa Sagemiller is sort of like Jacob's Ladder crossed with a whole bunch of other semi-coherent "psychological" horror movies, with a bit of vague sensuality (courtesy of Dushku's cleavage) thrown in for adolescent hormones. (Randy Octogenarian) Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Pacific Place 11

* Together
Q: What do you get when you combine a '70s commune full of Swedish hippies, a soundtrack that features hits by ABBA and Nazareth, and a VW bus painted with flowers? A: This strangely sitcommish but thoroughly engaging little movie. Just when you think it's going to Cute Hell, the filmmakers add a wrinkle of probing intellectualism or kinky human frailty to keep things interesting. Throw in a middle-class domestic-abuse refugee and her kids, a pre-op transsexual, some hilariously passive-aggressive dialogue about the importance of non-aggressiveness, a nymphomaniac, and a central character who suffers like a sweet-natured Job trying to keep the whole thing together (as it were); stir; cock your head in wonder; and enjoy. (Sean Nelson) Guild 45th

* Zoolander
This movie is a complete delight, fueled by the dual brilliance of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, who play rival supermodels who become embroiled in a global assassination plot. Not every joke succeeds, but the gut laugh success rate is pretty astounding, and the moments of total comic transcendence (such as the male supermodel gasoline fight) are many. It's such a pleasure to watch an American farce that doesn't make you feel like a moron for enjoying the funny parts. In Zoolander, even the between-gag bits are good. A-fucking-men. (Sean Nelson) Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Metro, Oak Tree, Pacific Place 11