Star spotting is not a game for amateurs. Picking the famous from the herd can be challenging--even dangerous. Whether it's your intention to embrace or avoid our homegrown talent, an accurate guide is essential. Welcome then, class, to Seattle Celebrities 101!
Bill GatesWilliam Henry Gates III was born in Seattle on October 28, 1955. He dropped out of Harvard and became simultaneously the Richest Man in the World and the Richest Man in the World with the Worst Haircut. Bill drives himself to work in an average family car, even though he could easily afford to have the whole Microsoft complex physically delivered to him on a china plate as he sits daintily crapping each morning. You'll be lucky to avoid seeing him. The creepiest thing you'll ever hear about Bill Gates: He rocks back and forth when he's nervous.
The Professor (Yes, the Gilligan's Island one!)A legend, a local, and almost as "gay" as Susan Powter, Russell Johnson is often involved in local fundraisers and events (he recently hosted Gay Bingo!). He's described as one of the "friendliest classic-TV stars ever," so be sure to ask where Mary Ann got the cream for all those coconut crème pies. (I've always wanted to know.) Not to be confused with:
Bill Nye, the Science GuyHe lives here too.
Richard KarnThis gentle, beer-guzzling Seattle native is much more than Tim Allen's wisecracking, apron-clad sidekick. He's also a famous model! (His hairy puss has graced thousands of beard-and-moustache-trimmer boxes!) When he isn't pioneering such TV classics as Home Improvement and People's Funniest Animals, Richard attends celebrity golf classics, enjoys Miller Lite, and promotes National Battery Check Day.
Dave MatthewsWhen Dave isn't on tour, saving struggling farmers, or funding scholarships, he's been known to catch a flick at Pacific Place, wander around the Arboretum, "mow down" honey muffins at Starbucks, and take advantage of the unbeatable selection and quality at REI--almost always in the company of his wife Ashley and their two small daughters. Dave has been aptly described as "unpretentious and approachable," and should you say hello, the hands will be shaken and the shit will be shot.
Sandra Bullock's CondoSandra bought a lovely penthouse condo in Belltown almost three years ago. I don't think she's ever been in it.
Eddie VedderEddie is really cool and lives in West Seattle and has had problems with overzealous admirers climbing up the security bars on his house, so I'm not going to give out any more information. Except that he is good at card tricks.
Rose McGowan's MomYes, the teenybopping Bride of Satan's very own mother is a Seattleite: She works at Microsoft!
Tom SkerrittHandsome, fatherly, and indispensable in case of headache, this star of Steel Magnolias and Top Gun (two of the gayest movies ever, for completely different reasons) can often be seen at the Capitol Hill Rite Aid, enjoying chicken at the Kingfish Cafe, or anywhere his personal microbrew label White Buffalo is sold.
Various News SchmucksInfamous, numerous, and known for displays of public weirdness, the most notorious are Leslie Miller, Jim Forman, and Jean Enersen. Often spotted in the greater downtown area. IF ENCOUNTERED: First of all, DO NOT panic. Maintain eye contact and back away slowly. Falling to the ground and feigning death works sometimes, too.
Dave GrohlFreakish eyebrows and feather boas--the dorky, hygiene-challenged boy who made music history has been spotted in some crazy rocker drag lately. It might be hard to recognize him. But try Dick's Drive-In on Broadway, the University Bookstore, or the airport. People always seem to see him at the airport.
Sexy, Sexy JOCKS!Baseball players are the only sexy jocks. (Don't argue with me.) Where might you accidentally (whoops!) stumble upon a Mariner? Freddy Garcia and Ruben Sierra live downtown; Carlos Guillen and Luis Ugueto live in Redmond. The rest live in Bellevue and Issaquah, so you'll probably never see them. Don't even try.
