Last week, we asked you to pick one of three unfunny topics (a priest molesting a 12-year-old altar boy; a Palestinian suicide bomber; a bottle of salad dressing) and our comedy writing team would attempt to mine pure comedic gold from it. Readers overwhelmingly voted for the Palestinian suicide bomber. Enjoy.

SPEND THE SUMMER IN THE HOLY LAND!

Soak up the history, the culture, and the hatred--while getting paid!

Are you an American college student who opposes the brutal Israeli occupation of Palestine? Have you bravely condemned the Israeli military campaign in coffee shops, lecture halls, and dorm rooms? Are you looking for adventure this summer?

THE PALESTINIAN AUTHORITY IS HIRING

AMERICAN COLLEGE STUDENTS!

Instead of heading home and working in a restaurant this summer, why not head for the Holy Land and work to make a difference? You could earn as much as $25,000 in one summer!* Qualified candidates will enjoy...

* Nightlife! You'll be sneaking into crowded restaurants, pizza parlors, and discos!

* Fashion! All qualified candidates will be fitted with sleek, stylish, easily concealed belts!

* Paradise! Qualified candidates who successfully complete this summer program will go straight to heaven!**

A PALESTINIAN AUTHORITY RECRUITER WILL BE ON CAMPUS THIS WEEK!

Since the Israelis launched a military campaign in response to months of suicide bombings, Palestinian suicide bombers have had difficulty sneaking into Israel to kill civilians, teenagers, small children, and Jews at prayer. Now the PA is anxious to recruit some of the young men and women of college age recently seen protesting Israeli "aggression" on CNN. Students with blond hair and blue eyes are especially encouraged to apply. Please note: Very few suicide bombers survive their missions. On the plus side: Successful suicide bombers don't have to pay back their student loans. *Funds courtesy of Saddam Hussein. **Paradise offer good for Muslims only. Infidels go to hell.