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LITERARY CORNER


This week's book excerpt comes from Bill Gates' Business at the Speed of Thought, which offers 12 steps to being successful and happy in business.


"Step 9: Always fly first-class. Flying coach is the equivalent of being forced to sit on the potty in a Greyhound bus for the entire ride. First-class really rocks. Like one time, I was flying to Geneva to give a presentation on the future of compressed digital technology, and I was seated right next to this amazing woman... and, man! I swear to Christ, she was stacked like Farrah Fawcett-Majors. So I start mackin' her, right? I'm ordering her drinks... telling a few jokes... offering her my warm wash towel... and she is really getting into me. All of a sudden this jackass in the seat behind leans over and starts hitting on her too! And what's worse, it's that goddamn Anson Williams guy... you know, Potsie from Happy Days? So I'm like, "Get off my girl, dog!" And he's like, "Hey, you know who I am?" And I said, "Do you know who I am?" Then I whip out a fat roll of bills and tell him, "Sit on THIS, Potsie!!" That shut him up. And it got her hot.

So we go to the first-class washroom, and let me tell you, these toilets are a lot bigger than those crap holes in coach. We still had to do it standing up, but hey! That's half the fun, right? Anyway, the great thing about doing the wild thang in a first-class toilet is, you don't have to worry about some asshole steward interrupting you. A C-note can't buy shit in coach. Remember that."