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THE GREAT HUMPKIN

United States, 2008, 4 minutes

The heartbreaking story of a love triangle involving a man, a woman, and a minipumpkin. The director uses stop-motion animation to bring a seasonal vegetable to life—and, no, the technique probably won't work for John McCain—while subtly inverting our expectations about what men and women want.

POKI

United States, 2008, 4 minutes

For those who thought that the "naked sushi" craze of a few years back was too tame, Poki ups the ante with bondage and knife play. Filmed on location at a beloved local sushi spot, Poki is for lovers of raw fish in its infinite varieties.

DOUCHE: DRY AND SANDY

United States, 2008, 7 minutes

A science-fiction epic that had HUMP! jury member Paul Allen furiously adjusting his package during a private screening, Douche: Dry and Sandy features sandy ass-cracks, giant tattooed cocks, deliciously camp performances, and (thankfully) futile attempts at come denial. Douche has something for everyone—well, everyone who's gay or into gay sex. The original shooting script has been acquired for the permanent collection of the Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame.

RIDE THE DUCKS

United States, 2008, 3 minutes

Made in the style of the great silent shorts of Hollywood's golden age, Ride the Ducks takes us to a bathroom where an innocent-looking girl shatters the final rubber-ducky taboo. Audiences will thrill as ducks are ridden, and as ducks ride, in this heartwarming film.

PRE-DICK-LICK-TION

United States, 2008, 3 minutes

Filmed entirely in lifelike black-and-white, Pre-Dick-Lick-Tion is a steamy affair that demonstrates that kinks aren't just for queers and chins aren't just for stroking.

LE PETITE MORT

United States, 2008, 5 minutes

A chance encounter in a bar leads to a night of erotic bliss for a pair of star-crossed lovers. As sensual as it is ambitious (count the positions the protagonists wind up in!), Le Petite Mort also manages to deliver a powerful message about postcoital health and safety without lecturing or popping off. A HUMP! jury favorite.

BILLY LEARNS THE HARD WAY

United States, 2008, 8 minutes

You'll never watch a 1950s-era sitcom the same way again—or look at a glass-topped dining-room table the same way again, or look at your sister the same way again, or your mother's mustache, or your father's enormous penis, or a plate of biscuits.

CORN PORN

United States, 2008, 1 minute

They don't call it "corn-holing" for nothing... or do they?

REAL LOVE DOLL

United States, 2008, 7 minutes

According to author David Levy (Love and Sex with Robots), sexbots will become commercially available in 2050. Until then the lonely and horny and well-to-do make do with Real Dolls—extremely expensive full-size silicone sex dolls. What will happen to all those Real Dolls when sexbots come online? Real Love Doll gives us a taste of a soon-to-be booming trade in second-hand Real Dolls.

B'WITCHED

United States, 2008, 5 minutes

This film not only provides HUMP! audiences with hot witch-on-witch just in time for Halloween, B'witched also proves that a woman can ride a broom without actually getting anywhere—anywhere but off.

FUCKING QUEERS

United States, 2008, 5 minutes

Seattle is full of fucking queers—fucking fags, fucking dykes, fucking bis, fucking MTFs, fucking FTMs. And what do fucking queers like to do at night? Fuck, of course, you fucking moron. Fucking Queers brings us some of Seattle's finest queers in all of their fucking glory. Fucking enjoy.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

United States, 2008, 5 minutes

Knives, rope, rubber duckies, zombie makeup, floggers—they all have their place. But sometimes the best HUMP! entries are the simplest HUMP! entries. What's Going On? features a couple, a glorious sunset, a tripod, and a come shot that will warm your heart.

PACKAGE MATERIAL

United States, 2008, 2 minutes

A film that takes safe sex to new extremes.

MONKEY BIZ

United States, 2008, 5 minutes

A monkey on a mission. That's all we can say. Because words alone cannot capture the delightful lunacy of Monkey Biz, a film that defies both description and categorization. Is it gay? Is it straight? Is it even porn? Unanswerable questions. But we will think of this cinematic gem whenever we walk through Red Square, or eat a banana, or spray-paint something gold.

RODNEY'S HORNY SURVEY

United States, 2008, 6 minutes

A documentary in the style of Michael Moore and Morgan Spurlock, in Rodney's Horny Survey a curious—and curiously well-hung—filmmaker takes his camera from one end of the country to the other in the hopes of finding an answer to this important question: Who has the horniest women: Seattle, New York, or L.A.?

BORED IN BELLEVUE

United States, 2008, 7 minutes

Good help can be so hard to find—and so hard for each other. HUMP!'s dykiest feature ever. Joe the Plumber wouldn't last a minute in a room with these tool-totin', tool-packin' babes.

BUTTHOLE LICKIN

United States, 2008, 5 minutes

To kiss or not to kiss? That is the question two women must explore after one rims the other. Lesbian processing has never looked so good.

FLESH!

United States, 2008, 5 minutes

What would HUMP! be without at least one zombie fuckfest? Maybe SIFF, maybe STIFF. But not HUMP! The undead are back—in traditional Romero-style black-and-white—and guess what? They're hungry for flesh, human flesh. But sometimes the undead have to make do with... the undead.

EDGED

United States, 2008, 8 minutes

A hot college boy finds that getting to an empty warehouse in Sodo is the easy part—it's getting back out that may be difficult. A journey of self-discovery that goes in unexpected directions.

PENIS GUN COP

United States, 2008, 5 minutes

A trio of HUMP! firsts: gun play, cranial penetration, birth. A fine way to close the festival. recommended