I'm sure you don't care. You've got dreads and smell like Nag Champa at all times, so why would you? We've never spoken, but I see you at least once a week. We even frequent the same bar and buy bananas in the same spot. I've seen you naked. You haven't seen my boner, but since you posed nude for that charcoal sketch class, we pass each other constantly. I always make a point to tell whoever I'm with, "Hey, I've seen her naked." My boys always think it's funny, but the girls not so much. You got a nice hippie pussy, keep it tight, iiaaaite.

—Anonymous