From the Jun 20 – Jun 26, 2002 issue

Columns

I, Anonymous

Boogers and ear crap! Every single day on our AM break in the lounge, we spy you eating parts of your own fucking body's waste! It may seem that we are all watching the tube, but really, out of our peripheral vision, we see your little sly gross feast!!! Ever notice that no one ever eats on that break? Fuck, who would? We thought about pooling our money together to buy you lunch (spanakopita?) and to keep our sanity, but forget it, it was decided that you are too lousy a person. And what's this? You're married? Hey, Christian wife of a bicycle enthusiast working in a catering department?!!!!!!!! YOUR HUSBAND EATS HIS OWN EYE CRUST/BOOGERS/ EAR CRUD!!!!!! Then he bikes home and makes it with you! Yuck, dude! You are NASTYYYYYYY!!!!

--Anonymous