Columns

I, Anonymous

Childish Adultery

You were one of the few people who I held above everyone else. You were one of my heroes even before you started fighting fires. Then you decided to have an affair and, once caught, go through counseling—all the while lying about ending it... WHILE YOUR WIFE WAS PREGNANT with your second child! You are such a selfish piece of shit. I hope a fire ends you so your ex-wife and two children can get the insurance money. The kids are young enough that, with any luck, it could be their only lasting memory of you.

—Anonymous

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Comments (39) RSS

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1
Yup, typical Guy Whore behavior, dump the fucker and take his Fire Department pension with you, wifey. Unless, of course, he’s already spent it on huge piles of COCAINE and cases of MALT LIQUER, as those types of asshats tend to do... Hell, maybe he's a CHILD MOLESTER as well, we all know that at I, Anon, you don't need any evidence to make that kind of acusation...
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on September 19, 2012 at 9:33 AM · Report this
2
Hey asshole, someone having an affair is not reason enough to wish that they burn to death.
Posted by everettrugby on September 19, 2012 at 9:58 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 3
I heard somewhere that wives and children can often love a man even if he has made shitty choices. Maybe that was just a Disney movie or something though.

But maybe they would not want their husband/father to die horribly. Even if there is money in it.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on September 19, 2012 at 9:59 AM · Report this
Lil 4
One of the reasons we have so much more divorce in our generation is that most people consider affairs a marriage ender. Not saying a lifelong monogamous relationship with one person is worth putting up with cheating, but I guarantee if you dig into the past of people who are still married in their 80, most of them cheated.

They stayed together DESPITE the cheating, and worked it out (or didn't and hate each other in their old age and misery.)

Posted by Lil on September 19, 2012 at 10:45 AM · Report this
thatsnotright 5
Fire fighters are right up there at the top with cops, professional athletes, doctors and lawyers on lists for adultery-prone professions. Why, who knows? Maybe it's all the calendars.
Posted by thatsnotright on September 19, 2012 at 11:17 AM · Report this
6
YAY!!! more straight male bashing from the stranger. I just can't get enough of this stuff.

Hey ladies why don't you all go find yourselves a homosexual male or another female to shack up with so you will be happy all the time and life will be perfect.

All of us straight males are just cheaters and good for nothing but a handout every time you need something.

Posted by fake on September 19, 2012 at 11:30 AM · Report this
7
This is why you shouldn't put people on pedestals.
Posted by suddenlyorcas on September 19, 2012 at 11:45 AM · Report this
8
He cheated on his wife and you wish the dad of 2 young kids was dead. I actually like him better. Plus he could - unlike you - get my ass out of a burning building. 2:0. To 4 and 7: +1
Posted by Ylene on September 19, 2012 at 12:09 PM · Report this
growler 9
I put a nice ficus on a pedestal once. It really brought the room together.
Posted by growler on September 19, 2012 at 12:30 PM · Report this
10
the illustration for this article is the best part of it.
Posted by ribs on September 19, 2012 at 12:54 PM · Report this
Godzilla1916 11
The dick gets what the pussy wants.
Posted by Godzilla1916 on September 20, 2012 at 8:25 AM · Report this
12
I'm a firefighter happily married with two kids who hasn't had an affair. However when I got married I agreed to monogamy, not celibacy. Last year the wife and I had sex 12 times despite me doing everything else to encourage, stimulate and inject passion into our relationship. I don't want the earth but I don't think sex 52 times a year is much to ask, that's once a week folks! Yet she will never initiate and although sex, when it happens, is great, it still comes across as if I am asking for the world by asking.

So maybe there is another side to the story here. Sex is like a garden, tend it well or nothing grows. I didn't sign up for celibacy and I have reached the point after pleading, counseling and trying to improve things, that I am perfectly justified in having sex with someone else since it's not really wanted at home.

So I'll wait for the jury to return before I pass judgement. And for those of you who are married to someone in public safety. Fuck your husband or wife regularly and enthusiastically or expect them to find it with someone else.

Here's to GGG
Posted by whonew on September 20, 2012 at 9:40 AM · Report this
13
Once again (much like the last TWO I, Anons, the writer is making huge assumptions about SOMEONE ELSE'S relationship.

How do you KNOW that they don't have an Open Relationship? How do you KNOW that wifey isn't a psychotic bitch? How do you KNOW she's not cheating on him?

HOW DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING?

It's not YOUR relationship, butt the fuck out.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on September 20, 2012 at 3:47 PM · Report this
Bonefish 14
1: Jesus fucking christ, man, so you lost an argument a week ago. Get the fuck over it.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on September 20, 2012 at 4:20 PM · Report this
15
@ 12 -- similar sitch and (unsurprisingly) I agree with you. Too bad you don't live in LA... :)
Posted by in a grt marriage w a grt guy excpt for 1 little thing... on September 20, 2012 at 4:27 PM · Report this
Bonefish 16
Arthur Zifferelli: If this were a court of law, and we were on the verge of sending someone to jail, you might have a point: in that case, we would need to see hard evidence before "condemning" the prisoner.

However, since it's an anonymous internet comment thread on an anonymously written angry letter, these articles are really nothing more than hypotheticals for people to comment on. This means that it really doesn't matter if the letter-writers are telling the truth or not. While it might be fun to point out things within the letter that make it sound obviously fake, you really don't need to take this so seriously as to get all puffed up and demand photographic and video evidence from "I, Anonymous" letter-writers before anyone is allowed to formulate an opinion on the scenario that the letter describes.

You're approaching your second week in a row of failing to realize this. It's irritating, and it makes you look stupid. Stop it.

Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on September 20, 2012 at 4:43 PM · Report this
17
I have no objection to firehouse fornication so long as response time is unaffected.
Posted by drinkup on September 20, 2012 at 7:03 PM · Report this
18
What's the point of marriage again?
Posted by mizmojo on September 21, 2012 at 10:12 AM · Report this
19
I'm pretty sure I'd watch the video on the Intertubes...
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on September 21, 2012 at 9:18 PM · Report this
20
Typical firefighter. I deal with their egos five days a week.
Posted by michelle724 on September 22, 2012 at 12:33 AM · Report this
21
I think Zifferelli is a boring dick, but I support his right to it.
Posted by Val Halla on September 22, 2012 at 12:35 AM · Report this
22
I think Val Halla is obsessed with me.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on September 22, 2012 at 10:34 AM · Report this
mtnlion 23
Arthur, please stick to the jokey "COCAINE AND MALT LIQUOR" shit and leave the real conversation to the adults.

Your obviously sexist and statements punctuated with way too much bold, italicized, and capitalized letters stuff is just old and dumb.

Having said that, I think this Anon is really expecting too much out of humans and needs to understand that good people do things that seem shitty (or sometimes really are shitty) and that you should expect poor decisions from even really the best people you know. It happens. It's the human condition.
Posted by mtnlion http://radicalish.wordpress.com on September 22, 2012 at 11:09 PM · Report this
mtnlion 24
Arthur, please stick to the jokey "COCAINE AND MALT LIQUOR" shit and leave the real conversation to the adults.

Your obviously sexist and statements punctuated with way too much bold, italicized, and capitalized letters stuff is just old and dumb.

Having said that, I think this Anon is really expecting too much out of humans and needs to understand that good people do things that seem shitty (or sometimes really are shitty) and that you should expect poor decisions from even the best people you know. It happens. It's the human condition.
Posted by mtnlion http://radicalish.wordpress.com on September 22, 2012 at 11:09 PM · Report this
mtnlion 25
uuuuughhhh doublepost; it's not my fault!
Posted by mtnlion http://radicalish.wordpress.com on September 22, 2012 at 11:10 PM · Report this
26
This is about the sixth week in a row that we've had an I Anon about twisted/rotting love. Clearly nerves are frayed. Who is the hard core Gossip Girl fan currently serving as I Anon editor? How about a nice bus incident for a change? Maybe somebody farted in a restaurant somewhere?
Posted by MacGruber on September 23, 2012 at 12:30 PM · Report this
27
@mtnlion - Ah... Seattle is full of arrogant assholes like you, and probably make up well over 50% of Stranger readers. GET A LIFE.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on September 24, 2012 at 8:49 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 28


Just thought I would pop in here and close the italics tag that Mr. Zifferelli left open before it becomes a big mess.

Preventative solutions truly are best.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on September 24, 2012 at 8:57 AM · Report this
Bonefish 29
Arthur, I'm sorry that women won't fuck you. I really am.

But at some point you need to start handling it with something other than constant, irritating posts about what PSYCHOTIC LYING BITCHES!!!!!!!111!! women are.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on September 24, 2012 at 12:16 PM · Report this
30
Stop feeding the troll!

Anon, you have to decide if you are in or out with regards to your marriage. IF you are in, there is a good chance your relationship will recover. IF you are out, get a divorce now. But you have to pick one. Spewing venom on The Stranger while staying married isn't the way to make such an adult decision.
Posted by wxPDX on September 24, 2012 at 5:17 PM · Report this
mtnlion 31
Dude, I have a super awesome and full life, and part of what I enjoy about it is discussing ideas and debating opinions. A thinking person knows how to intelligently craft an argument, which--even if I totally disagree with it--I can understand. I don't usually engage with those who are only interested in trolling, but I feel like you legitimately believe you know something about something.

But you don't. You don't really know much about anything. And that's fine! Seriously. Your assholeishness and general ignorance are your rights as an American citizen (God bless it), but when you put your mouth full of shit out there, don't be surprised if someone responds.

You post lame stereotypes (this week) and insisted to scream on and on about a legal system which you clearly have no knowledge of (last week). This was all in the name of promoting dumb old fashioned sexism, which I do not even begrudgingly accept or respect. I feel compelled to respond, (up until the point where I find it too much trouble), because if you can understand just for a second how wrong you are about the topics so far, maybe it would move you to learn about some things. Which would be awesome.
Posted by mtnlion http://radicalish.wordpress.com on September 24, 2012 at 6:06 PM · Report this
mtnlion 32
@wxPDX, yeah, I think I'll give it up. It's just that I used to like Arthur; he served as this comedic interruption when people let conversations get too real on Slog (always the cocaine/malt liquor business).

But then he decided to try to argue something seriously. And I tried to respond critically. And he revealed his utter stupidity to me. And that's when I fell down the rabbit hole...
Posted by mtnlion http://radicalish.wordpress.com on September 24, 2012 at 6:10 PM · Report this
Bonefish 33
30: Why not? Feeding trolls is fine; just don't take it seriously. They can be fun to abuse (or to bounce 'serious' arguments off of), so long as you don't give a shit if they get in the last word because you got bored before they did.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on September 24, 2012 at 9:52 PM · Report this
monkwild 34
When I found out my husband had been messing around for 7 years (including lying through pregnancy and counselling), I left him. I worked through it. He pays basic child-support and alimony, and I work hard so that we can have a good and comfortable life. We talk in a friendly and constructive manner, and we show our son that we love him and respect each other, in spite of hurtful things having been done. This is called "growing up" and "letting go." If you want to have a good, happy life, you gotta learn to do it. If you can't, you'll just get stuck rotting away in the poison of your own rage and victimhood. Have a great day!
Posted by monkwild on September 25, 2012 at 7:50 AM · Report this
35
@Bonefish -
Arthur, I'm sorry that women won't fuck you. I really am.
Been married 20 years to woman who likes sex.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on September 25, 2012 at 12:10 PM · Report this
Seattlebcc 36
Maybe if women stopped gripping about how they can't make a men do what they want all the time and actually got up off their butts and took responsibility for their lives instead of trying to trap men with pregnancies - that by the way hasn't worked on a large scale since the 19th Century - maybe we would have emotionally and physically healthy households and progeny to carry on. She knew about the affair, women ALWAYS know and when they can't discuss it logically with their spouse, they get pregnant in hopes to hold on to hope that Male DNA will magically change and they'll bow to being a castrated house husband.
Posted by Seattlebcc on September 26, 2012 at 6:52 AM · Report this
lyllyth 37
@36

Trap men with pregnancies? You must've missed my post about the ex who claimed shock that his "vasectomy" failed...and then pitched a temper tantrum because I refused to get married, move into the family compound, and live off of his parents like he does.

But hey, he's in the upper ranks of World of Warcraft. Never you mind that $11,000+ of back support he owes, that I will never get. He's famous online! ...er something.

So, lesson learned:
Me = no marriages ever, IUD all the way.
Posted by lyllyth on September 26, 2012 at 1:41 PM · Report this
Roadflare 38
@36, bitter much? Like 37 said, both men and women use sabotage sometimes. Not many, idiot. Woman are not trying to desperately hold on to their men, at least not as much anymore because now we can have our own lives, thank you very much. Why do the MRA's always come out of the wood work in any post on the internet that may insult the poor menz whether it's legitimate or not? Fuck off troll.
Posted by Roadflare on September 27, 2012 at 12:32 PM · Report this
39
I'm pretty sure I know this couple. Too bad he had an affair cause she was the best thing he had going. Sex really has nothing to do with this. He wasn't honest about his other life.
Posted by MadameLouie on November 18, 2012 at 6:47 PM · Report this

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