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The worst part about having an eating disorder is not even realizing you have an eating disorder until a friend looks you dead in the eye and says, "I think you have an eating disorder." When we met up in front of the movie theater, I was disoriented and could barely stand because I hadn't consumed anything other than diet soda and water for more than three days. Walking toward Pine and Sixth to find you on the busy sidewalk was strenuous enough without me constantly thinking about how that girl on the bus stayed so thin and how unfair it was that she could probably fit into a size zero while I barely squeeze into a three. But what really got me talking was when you looked at me and asked if I'd eaten today, as if you knew what I was thinking. You couldn't have known, but you asked me with so much goddamn conviction that I couldn't lie like I wanted to and make up some story about reheated spaghetti noodles and how full I was. It all slipped out. Everything. Every thought I had kept bottled up inside of me for almost two years poured out of my mouth, and instead of telling me I was being childish or it was just some phase, you looked right fucking at me and said: "You don't have to be afraid of food anymore. You don't have to be afraid anymore." You split a sandwich with me, and for the first time in a while, I asked the waitress for a regular Coca-Cola instead of a diet. Thank you so much.
—Anonymous
Best of luck in your recovery. Be prepared for some of your body systems to not function well for a while.
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The first step is always the hardest, but it is still just the first step.
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Congratulations for stepping into that moment & into your truth.
Everyone else is right. You've opened the door of recovery and now comes a lot of personal work best done w a therapist who is familiar with eating disorders.
:) it's so cheesy but this always grounds me AND makes me laugh, Al Frankin as Stuart Smalley on SNL
"You're good enough!, you're smart enough! and DOGGON IT!!! People like you!"
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sure LW should now get counseling, but from the way she writes, friend is what started her on the path to salvation.
thank goodness for friends. counselors are crucial, but you'll never get their help without actually going out and finding one. good friends find YOU.
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I also hope you were able, or will be able, to share this message directly to your friend. Although you may not be ready yet, I know from experience how much it will mean to them to know that their words got through.
But still I'm glad you shoehorned in that anti-HFCS point. This is the first I'm hearing of it's negative health effects. Tell me more!
Anon, I'm so glad your friend was there for you and that you were able to hear her. Some counseling would definitely REALLY help you on this road to recovery.
To get started, you can give the National Eating Disorders Hotline a call: 1-800-931-2237
Or take a look at their online referral service to find a treatment provider in your area: http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/g…
Anyone else who can see themselves in this story, please also give treatment a chance!
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