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STEVEN WEISSMAN
As a longtime reader, I am concerned about the future of this column. A number of recent editions have included such content as death wishes, threats of murder, and other abhorrent forms of restitution. While this column is a forum for anonymous authors to vent their frustrations, threats against the lives and liberties of others are not healthy, entertaining, or called for.
The punishments proposed in these recent articles do not fit the crimes. For example, making jokes about people who suffer from addiction is, agreeably, ignorant and in poor form, but does it constitute retaliation by way of murder? Sure, stepping outside of one's marriage and family, if done in malice and/or deceit, is unethical and lowbrow, but is that action cause to wish harm to that person, and as follows, their family? Of course not. Nor do I believe these threats are more than attempts to color prose and "sell" a piece. Contemplate the implications of this truth. Authors and The Stranger, you are in a unique and influential position. Be more evolved than our barbaric forefathers. Please don't contribute to the kind of media that fuels the violent delusions of its consumers.
Stranger Personals
—Anonymous
Submit your unsigned confession or accusation
here.
Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty. One submission will be published in the paper and online every week.
2
A lot of the people who write "I, Anonymous" posts aren't really intelligent enough to grasp your point, Anon. Good try, though. Most posters are living a train wreck and intelligent, non-addicted people with high self-esteem and good social skills, usually don't end up needing to vent in this forum.
4
You would probably be a bigger fan of the column if you enjoyed it how it was meant to be enjoyed:
With MALT LIQUOR and PILES OF COCAINE.
With MALT LIQUOR and PILES OF COCAINE.
5
Clearly the reader hasn't had the pleasure of enjoying the many entertaining years of Dan Savages prose against anyone who isn't sexually active or gay.
6
This is where crazy people vent, and assholes judge. Take away the violence and us bastards will lose a column.
7
@4, you really need to get a grip. This is a SERIOUS subject, and your flippant comment about drugs and alcohol is both unnecessary and dangerous. You need to seek some professional help.
8
I didn't realize all this was to be taken so seriously. I thought it was just a place for dumbass people to vent their asinine problems to be followed by a flaying from loyal readers.
Group hug everyone?
Group hug everyone?
9
I thought it was a contest for Sloggers to deride and judge people, no matter how valid or dire their Anonymous submission is. (I have a vivid memory of one about a father who was pissed that someone had pick-pocketed his developmentally delayed daughter--the whole crowd tore him apart.)
I think this Anon is lame, who cares if people use hyperbole like threatening to kill others for stupid shit (they'd never; they just have some dumb point they want to make)? Like I need everything to be serious these days.
I think this Anon is lame, who cares if people use hyperbole like threatening to kill others for stupid shit (they'd never; they just have some dumb point they want to make)? Like I need everything to be serious these days.
11
I thought it was a place to troll the Politically Correct. No? Well, I guess I'll zip up and you can get off your knees...
12
Oooooohhhhhh. . . ."A concerned reader" is "concerned" about this column's future.
Oooooohhhhh . . . She/he/it is "concerned" about threats and mentions "barbaric forefathers" --- as if infantile, self-absorbed, solipsistic gaytards who believe marijuana legalization is the end-all and be-all of their universe are really influential . . . . other than to their fellow barbaric douchetards! [As if they even comprehend the connecting patterns between high and illegal and untaxed drug profits and global money laundering and the banking cartel?]
Somebody should take a slow blowtorch to this "concerned reader". It's bad enough The Stranger readers were trashed by the vile cover photo of Robbie the McKennaBot --- while that tiny photo of Prof. Warren is hidden away in Last Days column --- when that photo should have graced The Stranger's cover! (I'm sorry, I forgot, she's a female and we can't have that!@!!!!)
But noooooooo. . . then we are further trashed with "a concerned reader" --- the torture implements from the Spanish Inquisition were devised especially for the likes of such readers!
Obvious was the clue of the putrid writing style of "a concerned reader" strongly suggesting a long-term reader of Thomas "three chins" Friedman's obscene columns.
Let us instead address the burning questions of our day:
Why do all Aussies have such horrible accents?
Why would even Satan's (Rupert Murdoch's) FoxFiction hire someone named Steve Douchey???
Why people who destested the vile neocon policies of psycho-idiot George W. Bush embrace the very same policies when they are extended and expanded by President Obama?
And most important of all, why has The Stranger repeatedly and habitually refused to publish all those I, Anonymous, entries submitted by sgt_doom?????
These are truly the burning questions we should all be concerned with.
(The above comments were all semi-facetious --- I would never take a blowtorch to "a concerned reader" --- I would hire someone to do that dirty deed!)
Breaking news: Rob McKenna, republi-con candidate for Washington State governor, announced that after he loses the election he will devote the rest of his life to the study of Korean dance forms.
Binders full of predatory jackholes: Wall Street.
So, until that time when Michelle Bachmann responds to my entreaties for a weekend of rough sex, this is sgt_doom signing off . . .
More...
Oooooohhhhh . . . She/he/it is "concerned" about threats and mentions "barbaric forefathers" --- as if infantile, self-absorbed, solipsistic gaytards who believe marijuana legalization is the end-all and be-all of their universe are really influential . . . . other than to their fellow barbaric douchetards! [As if they even comprehend the connecting patterns between high and illegal and untaxed drug profits and global money laundering and the banking cartel?]
Somebody should take a slow blowtorch to this "concerned reader". It's bad enough The Stranger readers were trashed by the vile cover photo of Robbie the McKennaBot --- while that tiny photo of Prof. Warren is hidden away in Last Days column --- when that photo should have graced The Stranger's cover! (I'm sorry, I forgot, she's a female and we can't have that!@!!!!)
But noooooooo. . . then we are further trashed with "a concerned reader" --- the torture implements from the Spanish Inquisition were devised especially for the likes of such readers!
Obvious was the clue of the putrid writing style of "a concerned reader" strongly suggesting a long-term reader of Thomas "three chins" Friedman's obscene columns.
Let us instead address the burning questions of our day:
Why do all Aussies have such horrible accents?
Why would even Satan's (Rupert Murdoch's) FoxFiction hire someone named Steve Douchey???
Why people who destested the vile neocon policies of psycho-idiot George W. Bush embrace the very same policies when they are extended and expanded by President Obama?
And most important of all, why has The Stranger repeatedly and habitually refused to publish all those I, Anonymous, entries submitted by sgt_doom?????
These are truly the burning questions we should all be concerned with.
(The above comments were all semi-facetious --- I would never take a blowtorch to "a concerned reader" --- I would hire someone to do that dirty deed!)
Breaking news: Rob McKenna, republi-con candidate for Washington State governor, announced that after he loses the election he will devote the rest of his life to the study of Korean dance forms.
Binders full of predatory jackholes: Wall Street.
So, until that time when Michelle Bachmann responds to my entreaties for a weekend of rough sex, this is sgt_doom signing off . . .
15
And this "I.A." relates to the accompanying illustration HOW, exactly?
(or do we even want to know?)
(or do we even want to know?)
17
That's quite a harsh illustration. Looks like someone is taking this letter a bit personally.
I haven't been as enthused by IA lately. I agree with anon that the recent columns have been leaning too heavily toward "imma gonna kill you!" and less toward "knock it off, you foolish fool". Perhaps the weather/economy/impending apocalypse is to blame.
Here's an ACTUAL I, Anonymous from a few years back. Features sex and no violence:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/i-ano…
I haven't been as enthused by IA lately. I agree with anon that the recent columns have been leaning too heavily toward "imma gonna kill you!" and less toward "knock it off, you foolish fool". Perhaps the weather/economy/impending apocalypse is to blame.
Here's an ACTUAL I, Anonymous from a few years back. Features sex and no violence:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/i-ano…
19
5: What a sensitive little pussy you must be. You make this I, Anon look like Dirty fucking Harry.
20
I just took a piss on the half-naked homeless guy smoking crank while reading Green Eggs and Ham outside Mitt Romney's bustling Capitol hill campaign front adjacent to Dan Savage's favorite bath house. Who here cares? -Anonymous
PS Pass the malt liquor and cocaine pile, No. 4. That really was bulletin board matl!! Hilarious!
PS Pass the malt liquor and cocaine pile, No. 4. That really was bulletin board matl!! Hilarious!
22
Screwing is fun! The kind without the screwdriver I mean. Unless by "screwdriver" you mean the person . . . ah nevermind.
24
@17, the illustration relates to the idea that many people do their thinking while taking a shit, and that their "output" is usually most appropriately disposed of in the toilet.
Like your comment here. How was your bowel movement?
Like your comment here. How was your bowel movement?
25
@24, my bowel movement was fabulous. Thank you for asking. I had it several hours before posting my comment. The harshness I was referring to was partially about the setting, but mostly about the depiction of anon – as an obese, acne ridden, cross eyed, buck-toothed, pigeon-toed mistake of a human being. The only thing missing is a slack jaw drooling bits of food.
I notice that the new IA also features shit. Perhaps a trend is emerging?
I notice that the new IA also features shit. Perhaps a trend is emerging?
26
@24, my bowel movement was fabulous. Thank you for asking. I had it several hours before posting my comment. The harshness I was referring to was partially about the setting, but mostly about the depiction of anon – as an obese, acne ridden, cross eyed, buck-toothed, pigeon-toed mistake of a human being. The only thing missing is a slack jaw drooling bits of food.
I notice that the new IA also features shit. Perhaps a trend is emerging?
I notice that the new IA also features shit. Perhaps a trend is emerging?
More I, Anonymous
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