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I am a DJ, a girl DJ. All DJs cannot stand doing weddings, especially those of rich white girls who just graduated from college and are marrying their college sweethearts. First of all, please tell your drunken uncles to stop asking out the DJ. Next, don't plan a six-hour wedding because no one wants to spend all of Saturday at your stupid wedding. You tell me that I cannot play cheesy wedding music, country music, and especially do not play Sir Mix-A-Lot. Well, guess what? That is what all your guests request, and when they cannot have fun at your stupid wedding, they go home. "Baby Got Back" is the most requested wedding song ever, and what I really want to tell you is "This is just your first wedding!" and next week I could get your husband to cheat on you if I wanted. Now that you've ruined everyone's good time and people are leaving early, you come to me crying and wondering why, why, why are my guests leaving? Their excuse is that they have to go and pick up the kids from the babysitter, since you wrote on the invitation that children were not welcome.
All of you brides, please take my advice and relax: Weddings are supposed to be a fun family affair for people of all ages. The best weddings I have ever worked are where I play requests from guests aged 5 to 85. Chill the eff out.
Stranger Personals
—Anonymous
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I guess I have not been to too many weddings, but is "Baby Got Back" really that popular?
I learned a lot from watching my control freak bridezilla friends collapse into blubbering messes because someone played a song they didn't approve of or whatever. On my wedding day I let the bridesmaids decide on their dresses (and they picked something beautiful, flattering and affordable!), let the guests eat and drink as much as they wanted and request whatever music they wanted, and we all just got loose and had an AWESOME time. And the band, DJ and hotel staff said it was the best wedding they'd ever seen!
I really want to tell you is "This is just your first wedding!" and next week I could get your husband to cheat on you if I wanted.
Wow. Well. Professional.
Any-hoo ... Obviously, most weddings suffer from a distinct lack of copious quantities of, yes, get ready, huge piles of COCAINE and 10 to 15 cases of MALT LIQUOR. I prefer St, Ides.
And rafferty, would you kindly shut the fuck up?
Stupid music for ignorant people!
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Solution: just have a good playlist on during the reception and don't waste hard-earned cash on a shitty, passive-aggressive DJ. Problem solved.
you ask up front can i go with it or do you want a playlist? they answer, you get paid.
it might hurt your musical sensibilities, but YOU GET PAID AND YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!
also @15
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Planning stresses me out. Things turn out the best when you just relax.
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On another subject, fuck John Olerud.
Nitpick: How is the bride supposed to relax while getting snark from the DJ? And why do you imagine seducing her new husband? Sounds pretty bitter to me -- I'm guessing Anon isn't married herself. (Not that marriage insulates one from bitterness, but this Anon sounds like she's bitter at the bride for getting a guy to marry her. People who feel like that shouldn't be in the wedding industry.)
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Weddings are a formality, not "the most important day of your life" and brides are usually way too busy schmoozin' to dictate every little detail. Play that dated generic shit, watch your drunken relatives have a blast, it's great.
That being said, I never want to be the bride again. Being a guest is much better.













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