Man vs. Dog
I know my puppy is cute, I hear it 42 times every 10 minutes. I know he looks like a wolf, but no, he's not a goddamned wolf. He's a 3-month-old dog who's in training to learn how to be a polite, socialized, civil dog in this jumbled, dynamic, distracting thing we call a city. And he's my dog, so I am responsible for his behavior. The reason I don't want him jumping on you now, when he weighs 19 pounds, is because I don't want him jumping on you when he weighs 60 pounds. Think for two seconds, please, before you interrupt someone who is clearly training a puppy, a puppy who expressed zero interest in you and who was annoyed by your excited, frantic, weak energy. You asked me to pet him by saying, "OOOHHH MMMYYY GGGOOODDD A PPUUPPYY!" and waiving your arms like a lunatic. I said yes, but only if you calm down and ignore him if he jumps on you. You got all huffy, told me to "fuck off," and stormed away pissed off. I'm trying to teach him boundaries, rules, and limitations now so that he doesn't act like you when he's older. Get a fucking clue.