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I, Anonymous

Good Riddance to Instructive Rubbish

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STEVEN WEISSMAN

I drink bourbon. You drink Busch Light. You gel your hair like a Backstreet Boy, and you're 30. Despite these superficial yet obvious incompatibilities, I dated you for nine months—and for most of it, I actually believed that we loved each other. I didn't even see the flaws of my thinking when you got blackout drunk on my birthday and abandoned me. Not even when you failed to pick me up from the abortion. I accepted your apology after you said that I'm only attractive to you when I wear makeup. I even deluded myself into thinking that I must have gotten genital herpes from a nonsexual source because I was faithful to you. I deluded myself because you temporarily abated my depression. I deluded myself because I'm insecure and a masochist. I guess I truly needed to see the chlamydia meds with not just your name on them but hers as well. You are my third-least-favorite person after the two men who humiliated and violated me in a park six years ago. I pity you but thank you. I learned so much.

—Anonymous

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Comments (23) RSS

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debug 1
The girl seems to know her own faults. I hope she did learn something and doesn't just dive into the next train wreck.
Posted by debug on June 26, 2013 at 11:17 AM · Report this
2
She kind of sounds like the train wreck.
Posted by woofy on June 26, 2013 at 11:27 AM · Report this
Fenrox 3
Did you? You may want to make like... flashcards or something, cuz you used to be CLUELESS.
Posted by Fenrox on June 26, 2013 at 12:03 PM · Report this
4
Sounds like Anon needs to learn to use condoms. Any 30 year old that wears his hair boy-band-style should not be trusted bare-backing.

This also proves one should never ever rely on a man to ease depression.

I hope I, Anon learns to read red flags as soon as they appear: someone too concerned with getting blackout drunk on your birthday absolutely does not deserve another second of your time.

Finally, how the fuck do you get genital herpes from a "nonsexual source"??
Posted by CamillaBear on June 26, 2013 at 3:11 PM · Report this
5
Well, the genital herpes thing will cut down substantially the line of guys lined up to abuse you in your next relationship. So there's that.
Posted by Cletus on June 26, 2013 at 3:45 PM · Report this
Spiffy D 6
Of course he gels his hair like a Backstreet Boy.

It's apparently worked to get multiple women to sleep with him, so why wouldn't he?
Posted by Spiffy D on June 26, 2013 at 4:29 PM · Report this
freesandbags 7
You'll be back.
Posted by freesandbags on June 26, 2013 at 8:45 PM · Report this
8
I drink bourbon. You drink Busch Light. You gel your hair...
The I, Anon, is as usual, a jealous douche bag...
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on June 27, 2013 at 8:05 AM · Report this
9
And...
Not even when you failed to pick me up from the abortion.
I'm sorry, this is HIS problem? I think it is YOUR problem.

First, you let a douch bag "knock" you up. Second, you let a douch bag "knock" you up. Third, being "knocked" up you assumed it was someone esle's problem, not yours. HELLO! Baby is in YOUR tummy.

Fucking moron. You should not be allowed to have chilfren.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on June 27, 2013 at 8:11 AM · Report this
10
I'm sorry, I'm slow. Everyone here knows Arty Ziff is slow... You drink expensive hooch and your baby daddy is a PBR guy?

Does he have a huge cock that you just cant do without? You need to have this douche bag drill you with his enormous pile driver to feel complete? You absolutely must experience his fire hose gushing man juice into your white hot pussy as his dingle-dongles slap against your perfect ass? Perhaps you like the Bukakkie? You sound like a whore...
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on June 27, 2013 at 8:39 AM · Report this
11
Arthur, the only whore in any I,Anon thread continues to be exclusively you.
Posted by treehugger on June 27, 2013 at 8:54 AM · Report this
12
Yes, well, "Treefucker", I'm excited that you are obsessed with me. I will not fuck you, so please don't ask.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on June 27, 2013 at 9:07 AM · Report this
13
I dub thee "Rotten Partner iAnons™." There, you have a name. Now go away.
Posted by Paddy Mac on June 27, 2013 at 12:36 PM · Report this
14
When did Arthur Zifferelli go from being funny to being a troll? Did the malt liquor and coke supplies finally run out? They're a winning combination that solve all problems until your dealer finally gets busted.
Posted by sweet g on June 27, 2013 at 2:03 PM · Report this
15
Arthur Zifferelli is a bitter, cowardly man who likes to insult others anonymously online. This is one of the many downsides of the internet, specifically comment sections. Instead of going to therapy,pathetic cunts like Arthur try to work out their insecurities by flinging shitty little comments at strangers.
Posted by Tangled Up In Plaid on June 27, 2013 at 3:20 PM · Report this
16
It's called reenactment in psychology, trying to get relief from past suffering by recreating the scenario. It doesn't work! Please seek therapy.
Posted by Zizu on June 27, 2013 at 4:59 PM · Report this
17
yeah, srsly. usually Zifferelli is kinda amusing. this time he's just bleating like a bitter old queen. the fuck>?
Posted by srsly on June 27, 2013 at 5:31 PM · Report this
18
I feel compassion for Arthur. Spending your leisure time being a hater suggests a pretty bleak life.
Posted by Garfield1432 on June 27, 2013 at 5:41 PM · Report this
monkwild 19
Anonymous, the state of your life sounds really, really lonely and painful and sad. It sounds like you need to STAY AWAY from sexual relationships (they are never the answer, only a temporary high) until you can actually wake up one morning and look at yourself with love, respect and compassion.
Exercise, good food, less booze, mindfulness meditation and supportive friends and family are a pretty amazing prescription for making these kinds of changes. Good luck!
Posted by monkwild on June 28, 2013 at 4:01 AM · Report this
inquiastador 20
Holy smokes Zifferelli, you sound like someone that everyone just has to know! Not. And that last post just reeked of someone who reads or watches way too much porn.
Posted by inquiastador on June 29, 2013 at 11:51 PM · Report this
21
People here hate the truth.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on July 1, 2013 at 8:07 AM · Report this
22
"You gel your hair like a Backstreet Boy"

Wow, a pop culture reference from 15 years ago that I had hoped to never hear again. No wonder it took chlamydia and herpes to make you realize that you were dating a filthy tard. Thank God for abortions.
Posted by trumpet on July 2, 2013 at 11:20 AM · Report this
Sir Vic 23
Read the Zifferelli comments in a Borat voice, and you'll be fine.
Posted by Sir Vic on July 2, 2013 at 5:05 PM · Report this

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