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I, Anonymous

Consider the Cut-Rate Oyster

I can't afford all these fancy places that are moving into my neighborhood. I also can't afford to buy organic all that often, and when I have a nice group of people over to eat food that didn't cost me all that much because I can shop the markdown or 50-percent-off sections, I just hope they don't get all mad because it's not grass-fed, gluten-free, non-phthalate, or non-PBA, or whatever else it's supposed to be in my middle-class subset. The thing is, you can't afford any of that stuff either—while you've been Instagramming your braised lamb cheek and sweet-potato-and-shaved-fennel croquettes and telling me (for the 16th fucking time) that I need to go to Mamnoon, right after I told you I have $500 in student loan bills to pay back each month, your rent just went up. I'm all for great food, but for once, can we just go to Pho Bac on Rainier instead?

Anonymous

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Comments (25) RSS

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care bear 1
Have you ever actually asked your friends to go to Phở Bac instead?
Posted by care bear on November 6, 2013 at 9:19 AM · Report this
Jubilation T. Cornball 2
I love the M.F.K. Fisher reference. Bravo!
Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball on November 6, 2013 at 10:11 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 3
@1 - It's not all that easy, socially, to suggest lowering the group's standards like that. I also have a circle of friends who enjoy a much costlier lifestyle than I can afford, but I made it clear a long time ago that if it's ever my treat, we're going to Taco del Mar. It has not yet been my treat.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on November 6, 2013 at 11:20 AM · Report this
Slam1263 4
Why the hell don't you cook for your friends?

Rub down and toss an pork shoulder in the oven.

Pan fry some sliced brussel sprouts in bacon fat.

Throw together a green salad, add some green olives and feta to make it festive.

Make a soda bread.

Make a apple tart with shortbread crust for dessert.

Put a box of wine in a nice carafe.

Have I hit the $100 mark yet. Will this feed less than 6 people? Well, normal people.

Can we change the name to 'I A Whinermouse' yet?

Oh, if you want recipes, holler.
Posted by Slam1263 on November 6, 2013 at 10:25 PM · Report this
Seattlebcc 5
I love it! The way this town has gotten so over-priced and high-falutent, it wont be long before we can call ourselves "Detroit- Part Deux"
Posted by Seattlebcc on November 7, 2013 at 6:43 AM · Report this
6
How dare those loans be forced upon you.
Posted by mizmojo on November 7, 2013 at 10:42 AM · Report this
7
Pho bac is GREAT! Eat there even if your freinds don't want to. Problem solved.
Posted by jojo on November 7, 2013 at 10:59 AM · Report this
8
Your friends that love you and understand your financial situation will still appreciate your willingness to entertain them, albeit at a lower cost than you would like to. When your college education comes to fruition hopefully you can dazzle them with the kind of meal that you think they deserve.
Posted by longwayhome on November 7, 2013 at 7:07 PM · Report this
9
Be honest with your friends about what you can and cannot do. Simple as that.

True friends who want to have a life with you as a friend will be glad you told them and remain friends.

IF you lose friends over this, were they friends?

Or just pho friends...
Posted by NWMAN on November 7, 2013 at 8:35 PM · Report this
10
First World problems.

Learn to cook and to have dinner parties. That way you can be gluten-free organic vegan hipsters all you like.

Or just find a better grade of friends.
Posted by Tucatz on November 8, 2013 at 6:09 AM · Report this
11
Two words: New Friends.
Posted by Tard on November 8, 2013 at 6:17 AM · Report this
12
@10: Yes Tucatz, we live in the "First World", and therefore most of our problems are "First World Problems".

Using that teminology just makes you sound like a DUCHEBAG. But of course this is Seattle, so you probably are a douchebag.

Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on November 8, 2013 at 11:03 AM · Report this
13
Actually, I live in UAE, not Seattle. I see the workers here and how they live, and have shared dinner with them on occasion. (I spend a fair amount of time in the Sanayia district.) I've been flat-ass broke and living on minimum wage. Have you?

So yes, First World Problems. Also known as spoiled rich kid whining. Get out of your upper middle class neighborhood and see what's around you. See how the other half lives. Then see if you feel like complaining that you can't afford free-range grass-fed tofu.
Posted by Tucatz on November 8, 2013 at 12:21 PM · Report this
14
Actually, I live in UAE, not Seattle...
Than you have no qualification to even comment on this issue. Even if you "used" to live in Seattle.

And, I'm sorry you live in a Fucked Up place like UAE, but that's your problem.

You are a douche bag.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on November 8, 2013 at 7:09 PM · Report this
15
Shame on you Arthur. This is not a forum for your misguided and adolescent comments that indicate you are a bored troll from My N.W.com. Please to go elsewhere to be an asshole.
Posted by longwayhome on November 8, 2013 at 7:57 PM · Report this
16
You need new friends.
Posted by treehugger on November 8, 2013 at 9:09 PM · Report this
17
@4 Who dosent want recipies?
Posted by Seattle in Alaska on November 9, 2013 at 12:18 PM · Report this
18
#4 & #10 -- didn't you read the confession? Anon *does* cook -- "and when I have a nice group of people over to eat food that didn't cost me all that much..."

#17 - buy a cookbook. Adamek/Papworth Family Cookbook is excellent, so is anything by Stephanie Alexander, Suzanne Goin etc etc
Posted by cooking is not that hard on November 9, 2013 at 4:13 PM · Report this
19
I don't understand why you would even want to be friends with the sort of people who instagram their yuppiefare; are you hoping they'll help you land a better job, or something?
Posted by Joe Glibmoron on November 9, 2013 at 11:25 PM · Report this
20
I don't understand why you would even want to be friends with the sort of people who instagram their yuppiefare; are you hoping they'll help you land a better job, or something?
Isn't that 70 or 80% of all the 20-somethings in Seattle?
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on November 11, 2013 at 4:02 PM · Report this
21
Did all the uneducated trolls from My N.W. com come over here? Christ, I was hoping for some intelligent dialogue, not ignorant criticism.
Posted by longwayhome on November 11, 2013 at 7:54 PM · Report this
22
Sure longwayhome, break out the worn out old chestnuts... You only finger yourself as a self-absorbed Seattle douche.

And I've never been to "My N.W. com", but please go on acting like a spoiled 20-something. It fits you well.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on November 12, 2013 at 8:33 PM · Report this
23
People who say "First World Problems" should be executed in a third-world manner.
Posted by LMNOP on November 13, 2013 at 1:00 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 24
@1: Probably not. Pho is great, most anything in the ID is great and sofuckingcheap, even the Yelpiest foodies enjoy the fare, so we get this passive-aggressive whining versus actually solving his problem.

"Hey guys, want to do a tour of the ID?" is not tough. But you have to actually ask people versus sitting at home, griping because you're not invited to something but not setting up the sorts of activities you ~want~ to have.

And re:

"The thing is, you can't afford any of that stuff either"

Maybe they're just better with money and/or spend the non-foodporn time with boxed mac & cheese.
Posted by undead ayn rand on November 13, 2013 at 6:35 AM · Report this
25
Arthur, you are defensive of your comments because you know down deep in your black little inner self that you are an asshole, a troll and not capable of coming up with any solutions to life's problems,so you take it out on the only public forum that lets you do so without restrictions on your immature language and name calling. Try not using middle school words to describe your adversaries, you probably can't speak or type without them. Sorry for your loss of communication skills.
Posted by longwayhome on November 14, 2013 at 8:31 PM · Report this

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