I, Anonymous

Under Your Wheels

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Steven Weissman

My son Joseph and his girlfriend, Nicole, asked me to watch their dogs, Haley and Moose, a mother-daughter twosome, to give their landlord time to make fence repairs. They arrived a little late; they had already managed to get themselves pregnant. Mom had 10, and daughter had 12! My son and his girlfriend did great in finding homes for 20 puppies! There were two "runts" in Moose's litter, with the smaller of the two looking half the size of its siblings. The bottle-feeding we gave her saved her life, but she looked pretty homely and wasn't getting adopted. I ended up keeping both the runts—sisters. The bottle-fed runt was homely indeed, and I wanted her to feel pretty, so I named her Tiffany. Her sister I called Emma. Grown, Tiff sometimes stands as if she's posing in a Mr. Universe competition. She would stand in front of a grizzly bear for me; she'd get taken out by one swipe, but she would do it. They were born on Dale Earnhardt Sr.'s birthday: April 29. Tiff may yet see her ninth birthday; Emma will not. She was killed by a cold, selfish, no-conscience-having, chicken-shit coward hit-and-run driver. You kept going, but you were seen. Pray you are NEVER seen by me, you FUCK.


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Comments (50) RSS

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Godzilla1916 1
Fucking, fuck, runt-killing fuck-tard has got a shitload of ass kicking Karma coming their way; and me with a first cup of coffee sunny morning compassionate mood I'm in too.
Posted by Godzilla1916 on November 13, 2013 at 9:14 AM · Report this
Some dude in the Philippines that just lost his house, home, family is crying a river for you I'm sure. "Pray for that IAs puppy" Is probably the first thing out of most Philippinos mouths right now.
Posted by Arturo Bandini on November 13, 2013 at 9:19 AM · Report this
So what you're saying is that you failed to control your animals, leading to one of them dying a horrible death. Well fuck you IA, leash laws exist for a reason, and you should be charged with animal abuse and raped in prison.
Posted by TCLballardwallymont on November 13, 2013 at 10:47 AM · Report this
@2 Because you never ever complain about anything that isn't as bad as the worst possible thing in the world... because that would be hypocritical... like complaining about people complaining.
Posted by squirrely girl on November 13, 2013 at 10:50 AM · Report this
OutInBumF 5
I'm relieved to note IA commenters can even manage to put down a dead dog and its grieved owner. All is still right in the universe.
Posted by OutInBumF on November 13, 2013 at 10:59 AM · Report this
gr8lakesgrrl 6
...and that's an appropriate response, Arturo, because it's absolutely impossible that this IA letter was sent before the typhoon. Tell us, what does Emily Post say, how long should one wait after an international tragedy before speaking of any other losses?
Posted by gr8lakesgrrl on November 13, 2013 at 11:10 AM · Report this
yes, she should have her dogs on leashes outside -- but why so much poisonous hostility?
Posted by robinDC on November 13, 2013 at 3:11 PM · Report this
to the poster who would have the writer raped in prison -- take a deep breath. yes, she should have her dogs on leashes outside. perhaps she did -- sometimes dogs get away from us. Whatever happened, why so much poisonous anger and hostility?
Posted by robinDC on November 13, 2013 at 3:15 PM · Report this
@3 you are the sort of human garbage who shouldn't be destroyed quickly, but should be made to suffer in excruciating pain while watching the people you assumed to have loved you die, as they curse your name with their final breaths. Fuck you.
Posted by Big Gary on November 13, 2013 at 4:56 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 10
So would IA be less pissed off if the driver had stopped?
Posted by keshmeshi on November 13, 2013 at 5:01 PM · Report this
I just can't help myself thinking: Why weren't Haley and Moose spayed?
And how could LW's son and his gf be so inattentive and careless that both bitches got impregnated?
Since that information wasn't necessary at all for us to understand how angry IA is about the careless driver, I have to deduce that this is a fake.
Posted by migrationist on November 14, 2013 at 3:11 AM · Report this
First your spawn allow their two un-fixed bitches to get pregnant, and than you allow their spawn to run free in the city? To get preggers or hit by a car?

I see a problem here.

Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on November 14, 2013 at 9:38 AM · Report this
Did Emma jaywalk?
Posted by meb on November 15, 2013 at 7:36 AM · Report this
And why the FK weren't they on leashes and watched!? Bet you leave your cats outside too dumb shit
Posted by Uve on November 15, 2013 at 5:36 PM · Report this
A meandering story with numerous supporting characters, cumbersome details and personal asides to convey the fact that someone ran over your dog. You are a 911 operator's worst nightmare.
Posted by MacGruber on November 15, 2013 at 5:45 PM · Report this
Did the mother and daughter dogs ever get spayed? And I really really hope this son didn't make you a grandmother. Christ on a cracker. Abusive assholes.
Posted by treehugger on November 15, 2013 at 7:04 PM · Report this
Does IA know about Jeff Foxworthy?
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 15, 2013 at 9:06 PM · Report this
More Accurate Headline: Completely Irresponsible Dog Owner Angry At Somebody Else For Her Own Failure To Control Her Animals.
Posted by You Suck And Your Dogs Do Too on November 16, 2013 at 12:09 PM · Report this
This story is odd. I keep looking at, "They arrived a little late; they had already managed to get themselves pregnant." First, it makes it sound like your son and his girlfriend arrived late, because they were getting pregnant. But then we learn that two dogs gave birth. Was this while you were watching them for fence repairs? Because, if so, how did the fence take long enough to repair that the dogs had time to go through a full term of pregnancy? Or was their being late completely unrelated to the dogs already being pregnant? It really sounds like they stopped off to impregnate the dogs, which cost them more time than they expected.

But let's assume your son and his girlfriend are just bad pet owners who had two unspayed animals that they never meant to breed and then had to find homes for the unwanted puppies.

Then we have the hit and run driver... with no details about how the dog was able to be hit. I really can't judge this. It could have been the driver's fault or the dog owner's fault, since we are given no info. I was hit once while crossing the street with right of way (I was fine, but that still shows some drivers are irresponsible - and no, the driver did not stop). Or the dog could have been off-leash. People seem to want to leap to that conclusion because the story sets us up with people who don't seem to care about being responsible pet owners, but we don't know.

And finally, why do people assume the letter writer is female? I see no indication of gender at all.

Okay, I lied, and finally, please get Tiff spayed. There are enough stray dogs in the world, and too many that need to be put down when homes can't be found for them. Even if you find homes for Tiff's extra puppies, those will generally be homes that could have adopted a dog from a shelter and now won't. There are sometimes good reasons to breed an animal, but your random pet with no special traits and whose puppies you have no intended homes for in advance is not one of them. Also, 10 and 12 are not surprising litter sizes for a dog. Get your pets spayed or neutered.
Posted by uncreative on November 16, 2013 at 12:29 PM · Report this
The reason dogs are "tuned" to have 10-12 puppies is because they die, quite frequently, before they get old enough to breed. Accept it. Enjoy the time you have.
Posted by ChefJoe on November 16, 2013 at 12:51 PM · Report this
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope this never happens to me.

One form of hell:…

@15 -- how much do you know about 911 operators? your statement is funny for so many more reasons than you could probably imagine.

Posted by six shooter on November 16, 2013 at 1:08 PM · Report this
@9 -- so creative! gold star.
Posted by six shooter on November 16, 2013 at 1:10 PM · Report this
By commenter #2's logic, as long as someone else in the world has suffered more than you, you are not allowed to be upset about any tragedy that comes your way. That's the stupidest thing I've ever read. And why castigate the writer about leashes and spaying? While it's true that some misfortunes could be prevented with prudent action, sometimes life gets away from us and bad things happen. As a person with many pets, I'm very sorry for the writer's loss. They are valuable members of the family.
Posted by S. Kelley on November 16, 2013 at 2:14 PM · Report this
*20+ puppies*. Get your gross animals fixed people.
Posted by fsb on November 16, 2013 at 2:29 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 25
I don't think it was responsible to have loose dogs and the owner deserves at least half the blame. Dogs running into the street can be unavoidable.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on November 16, 2013 at 2:50 PM · Report this
@23 Because they probably caused the death of over a dozen dogs by letting those dogs breed, whereas the driver only caused the death of one - and we know nothing of the circumstances. To claim you love animals, but to not get a pet spayed or neutered is rather a tough situation to understand without a reason given. And the writer gave no reason for how the dogs became pregnant. So, while it is sad the dog was hit by a car; it's even sadder that 20 unwanted puppies were created. Each of the homes they found for those puppies could have taken in a dog from a shelter, but did not because there were surplus puppies made by irresponsible people. And so dogs in shelters were killed or dogs with no homes were turned away from no-kill shelters so that those homes could go to those puppies. I think that's why people keep focusing on it.
Posted by uncreative on November 16, 2013 at 3:17 PM · Report this
Just Jeff 27
The driver may have been unaware that they hit the dog. What's your excuse for allowing them to run loose in the street. I am a dog owner and a parent. I never let either my child or my dog play in the street. Know why? BECAUSE CARS OPERATE THERE.

Sorry but the fucking fuck is YOU. Want to know who killed your dog? Look in a mirror.
Posted by Just Jeff on November 16, 2013 at 4:13 PM · Report this
Wow. Clearly a lot of people here have never met a dog, let alone had one as a family member. Opening the front door can easily result in a dog running outside. Unless you've figured out some sort of transporter technology to get inside without opening doors, try turning down the judgment just a tad.
Posted by Person who actually knows dogs on November 16, 2013 at 10:37 PM · Report this
@5, you just made my day. the rest of you need love, love and more love.
Posted by LiberatusQuirkus on November 17, 2013 at 11:00 AM · Report this
Bonefish 30
2: And yet, here you are, complaining that an I,Anon post wasn't consequential enough. What a privileged little shit.
Posted by Bonefish on November 17, 2013 at 10:38 PM · Report this
@28 'person who actually knows jack shit'

"Opening the front door can easily result in a dog running outside."

Oh, yes, sure. Or a child. You see, children and dogs are the same in that they both depend entirely upon their caretaker for their safety and wellbeing.

Would you bring this bullshit argument if it had been a little 2 year old girl? No? Well gee fucking whiz, maybe doors (and leashes) aren't all that hard to manage after all.
Posted by TCLballardwallymont on November 18, 2013 at 1:04 AM · Report this
@31 Survive a fire, barely, then die of infection and fuck off.
Posted by Big Gary on November 18, 2013 at 1:42 AM · Report this
urn 33
The dogs, Haley and Moose, arrived at Grandma's house too late, as they'd already gotten themselves pregnant. Because the fence wasn't secure, and they either got out and got knocked up, or a "gentleman caller" got in.

We could trim this down a bit. "I had two dogs, and you killed one. I hate you." The rest of this might have made the writer feel better, but did little to tell the story clearly.
Posted by urn on November 18, 2013 at 9:16 AM · Report this
34 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
Both dogs preggers before you even got them? I guess you didn't teach your child how to be a responsible pet owner, and now you are complaining you lost the runt offspring of 20 pups produced by your irrisponsible offsprings unfixed bitches? I wonder if you had had them fixed yet. 10s of thousands of dogs are put down every year becasue irresponsible people get them and dont get them fixed in time. You and yours share guilt as well.
Posted by jojo on November 18, 2013 at 10:59 AM · Report this
lolorhone 36
Jesus Christ. This column's comment section in particular is a magnet for the most cynical, heartless, nasty, judgmental assholes the interwebs has to offer. It's like a mini-Reddit for petty misanthropes.
Posted by lolorhone on November 18, 2013 at 10:09 PM · Report this
Sometimes I don't know what to feel.
Posted by The Ballad of Runt on November 19, 2013 at 8:12 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 38
@10 - I know I would be. Driving off suggests a callous disregard for what may be only an injured dog, or the feelings of the people associated with that dog. Stopping to see if the dog could be saved, or to even at the very least express some kind of human remorse is what a person does, assuming that person isn't an asshole.
Posted by MacCrocodile on November 19, 2013 at 2:12 PM · Report this
@36: Assholes? No. The original IA set the tone of this discussion with his or her threatening, cursing, gratuitously capitalized rant. The commenters are right to point out that there was a chain of irresponsibility leading to the dog's death, and that IA was himself (or herself) an integral part of that chain.
Posted by and you're helping him avoid it on November 19, 2013 at 2:23 PM · Report this
Circle of life... I see this whole situation as karma working itself out
Posted by aphasia on November 19, 2013 at 3:30 PM · Report this
@36 "Jesus Christ. This column's comment section in particular"

Of course. By definition this column is a passive-aggressive proclamation of ill conceived choices.

Week after week it's a parade of those who choose not to speak or act when and where they should have, and choose to disregard their own culpability.

IA is an irresponsible asshole. Do you think IA saw to it that the other 20 pets went to good, qualified owners? Did IA see to it that those 20 pups were spayed or neutered? Did they get licensed, shots, etc? I doubt it.

But I don't doubt that a jackass who figures dates by Earnhardt birthdays can use a reminder that this wasn't a driver failure, this wasn't a canine failure, this was a death brought about by sheer negligence. Dogs don't just "get away and run into the road". And fuck this IA bitch for trying to pretend they do.
Posted by TCLballardwallymont on November 19, 2013 at 9:11 PM · Report this
@I,A - I'd bet that several of those twenty puppies are probably going to end up in similar or worse scenarios as the one you adopted that was hit, because, like you and evidently your kid, some of their owners are probably not fit to take care of another living creature. People that work in shelters or veterinary clinics fucking hate people like you, because they're the ones that get to see the ensuing misery caused by your poor decisions. I think that's where the negativity in the comments is coming from.

Once an owner has allowed their pet to escape the safety of a yard or a home or a leash, it is abundantly possible for a driver following all laws and driving responsibly to fatally hit that pet, and it's no one's fault but the owner. I don't know if the dog could have been saved if the driver had stopped, but it's possible that all they would have achieved by stopping is 1) being traumatized and embarrassed by your bad behaviour, 2) being endangered by YOU, since you clearly don't know where the blame rests, and 3) being forced to give you an ear-full for being a shitty pet owner.

Unsolicited pet advice:
Spay and neuter your pets. Don't get a pet you don't have time for or will have to leave alone for lengthy periods of time. Keep your dog in a properly enclosed space when you let it out, and don't let it run without a leash unless it's properly trained AND you're in a dog park. Don't get a breed that has a drive you don't have time or energy to satisfy, or a breed that is notorious for producing escape artists if you don't have the right setup. And don't get a pet when you absolutely can't afford unexpected vet bills to some degree. And don't forget that shelters have great pets for you to adopt. Follow these simple rules and you can reduce the sum of misery in the world caused by bad pet ownership.
Posted by Agni Kai on November 19, 2013 at 9:47 PM · Report this
tharp42 43
I hate "I Anonymous." It's everything awful about Seattle distilled and concentrated into one, steaming shower of cuntiness.
Posted by tharp42 on November 19, 2013 at 10:21 PM · Report this
44 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
lolorhone 45
@39: Nasty? Judgmental? Yes.
@41: Week after week it's a parade of those who choose not to speak or act when and where they should have, and choose to disregard their own culpability.
And it's your job to set every single one of them straight, right?.
Posted by lolorhone on November 20, 2013 at 12:46 PM · Report this
@45 "it's your job to set every single one of them straight, right?."

Nope, just the assholes. You got that straight now?
Posted by TCLballardwallymont on November 20, 2013 at 3:38 PM · Report this
The first mention of the dogs is as a mother-daughter combo, and the jackass who owned them didn't have them both spayed after the mother birthed the FIRST litter and stuck them with a second dog?

You ended up putting TWENTY more unspayed and unneutered dogs out into the world?

I should hope any drivers in your neighborhood run over your remaining pets on principle.
Posted by CornsilkSW on November 21, 2013 at 9:23 PM · Report this
The fault here lies with The Stranger's editor, for publishing a rant that boils down to, as #33 wrote, "I had two dogs, and you killed one. I hate you."

Anonymous and family probably made some poor decisions prior to that, and I think The Stranger's editor hoped that the commentariat would fasten on those as there is no useful help we can offer regarding her/his actual problem of having lost a dog.
Posted by Aquamarine on November 22, 2013 at 10:45 AM · Report this
lolorhone 49
@46: So who's setting you straight?
Posted by lolorhone on November 22, 2013 at 1:42 PM · Report this
Y.F. Redux 50
Dear Anon,

Please give up pet ownership. You are irresponsible as shown by your not spaying your pets in a timely manner and allowing them to run out in the street. Sure, the jerk who ran over your dog without stopping is a jerk, but you are the one who's supposed to keep them on a leash when they're outside. I know you probably thought, "Hey, I let little Emma run outside she'll crap on the neighbor's lawn and I won't have to clean it up!" but now your dog is dead largely because you are irresponsible.
Posted by Y.F. Redux on December 6, 2013 at 9:03 PM · Report this

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