Dear Hit-and-Run Victim
Y ou stupid fucking moron. I was on a nice leisurely bike ride in the Mount Baker neighborhood when a man in a blue Cadillac gunned his engine to pass me and struck you in the middle of the crosswalk. You rolled off the hood and onto the sidewalk clutching your legs in obvious pain. The driver must have sensed your utter fucking stupidity because he immediately floored it and drove away. I wrote down the guy's license plate number and called the police, thinking this might turn out okay since quite a few people were witnesses. Then you got up, proclaimed that you've "been crossing this street for nine years and this has never happened before," limped to your car, and fucking drove away despite five people telling you to stop. What the fuck? You let that piece of shit get away, stick yourself with the medical bills, and waste my time waiting for a cop to show up and tell me there was nothing he could do if you weren't around to press charges? Fuck you. Now that the shithead who tried to run you over is off scot-free, I hope the next person he hits is you again.