Steven Weissman

Okay, I get it. You are a horny couple who either can't wait to get home to get it on or (more likely) don't have a home of your own to get it on in, so you pull over in Interlaken Park to do the nasty, as if you were members of your grandparents' generation. And, having had your fun, you choose to dispose of the evidence out your car window onto the street. Guess what? I have a dog I walk past that spot every day, and for three days now, I've been tight-leashing him as we walk past your damn condom lying there. Well, yesterday he managed to surreptitiously snap it up. Ask me how I know, you disgusting copulators. What goes in must come out, and I pick up my dog's poop. Also, he had diarrhea for the rest of the day. I hate you both, and next time I see a car parked in that spot with steamed-up windows, I am going to introduce you to my dog, and then to the always-charming Seattle Police Department.

—Anonymous