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I, Anonymous

Drop Dead, Dad

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Steven Weissman

Hey there, Dad. This is your son. Specifically, I'm the son you fathered with your second wife. I don't know how many other children you have, but I know you have been married four times. I understand you have a Filipino woman about to receive her visa to come live with you and bring her son with her. You have a lot to offer a person from Manila: the wonders of America, shopping malls, etc. I hope she enjoys seeing your squalid little rental house and your big-screen TV complete with all the porn you have enjoyed all these years as a single pervert. I hope you will remember their birthdays, as you have forgotten mine all these years. I think the fact that she is half your age is a big factor, and I can only hope that you contract testicular cancer soon and your penis falls off and she takes all your money and runs off with your landlord. Love, your son.

—Anonymous

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Comments (35) RSS

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1
I understand you have a Filipino woman about to receive her visa to come live with you and bring her son with her. You have a lot to offer a person from Manila: the wonders of America, shopping malls, etc
Racist much, I, Anon?
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on May 20, 2014 at 8:35 PM · Report this
2
The ramblings of a bitter child, who never got along with his dad. I felt this way for many years until I learned to understand through becoming mature that your parents relationships are not always what you the child want. Feel free to hate your dad for wanting to live his life. Did he beat you? Did he beat your mother? No? Than fuck off.

As to the "porn" thing, if you have a "hang-up" about porn, that's your problem, I, Anon...

Have some COCAINE and MALT LIQUOR, it may do you good.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on May 20, 2014 at 8:42 PM · Report this
TCLballardwallymont 3
As has become the norm, the cartoon for this I,A is the best part by far.

And I,A - At least Daddy didn't rip a giant fart on a bus you were riding. I mean, it could have been so much worse.
Posted by TCLballardwallymont on May 21, 2014 at 12:06 AM · Report this
4
Your Dad’s trying to take a mulligan with his life. He will fail and continue to be broke and even more unhappy, which, I’m guessing, will make you happy. The people I have seen that are most successful in such situation are the ones that accept that the parent in question is a self-absorbed shit magnet and write the F’er off. Really, move on literally and figuratively.

If your Mom’s been there for you, then be thankful that you have such a great mom. Even if she made some mistakes, at least she is trying. Being bitter will get you nowhere.

Though being bitter in the short-term may help you come up with hilarious retorts when and if your Dad ever reaches out to you – really write them down and keep them with you. They’ll make you laugh when you’re down and remind you why and how lucky you are not to have that person in your life. Though if you find that they depress you chuck'em
Posted by reswin on May 21, 2014 at 5:41 AM · Report this
5
Any smart person would read this and realize it's not about the sexual relationships dad has been in, it's about dad's lack of a relationship with the children he chooses to bring into the world as a result of these sexual relationships. Those who think the former must have had their brains pickled by too much cocaine and malt liquor.
Posted by treehugger on May 21, 2014 at 8:03 AM · Report this
6
Treehugger, of course the parent is always at fault in these things, right? Your comment makes one wonder about your relationship with your parents. Obviously, many times it's not the parent, it's a self absorbed child that thinks the world revolves around them. Sound familiar? Is that you?
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on May 21, 2014 at 8:35 AM · Report this
thatsnotright 7
A person married four times is usually not successful in the fifth. Dad sounds as if he has a well established inability to sustain healthy relationships. Why all the hate for Anon? Sure, he needs to move on but sometimes moving on requires saying "Fuck you," first.
Posted by thatsnotright on May 21, 2014 at 9:19 AM · Report this
8
Taking Anon's comments at "face value" is a mistake. His view is probably not the reality.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on May 21, 2014 at 9:30 AM · Report this
debug 9
@1 Not racist. Typical American classism though.

I think people here are being hard on the kid (assuming he still is actually in his teens). Most people don't get over their issues with their parents until their 20s (some never do).

If he's still being like this at 25 then I think we can all taunt him a collective "Waaah", but don't beat up on a kid.

The porn line I laugh at, as if this kid isn't wanking it sore at his age. Everyone's got a right to their own porn stash as long as they're relatively discreet about it.

Posted by debug on May 21, 2014 at 10:31 AM · Report this
10
Reading these comments, I've learned so much. Specifically, I've learned that the name of Anonymous's dad is Arthur Zifferelli.
Posted by PEM on May 21, 2014 at 2:12 PM · Report this
11
Why such a big nose on the cartoon? I'm offended by this obvious Jewish caricature.
Posted by Jhftyvtbiifrtfef on May 21, 2014 at 3:08 PM · Report this
12
Yeah, I'm sure the "self absorbed child" is responsible for his father not remembering his birthday year after year.
Posted by hit_by_a_train on May 21, 2014 at 3:20 PM · Report this
13
Hahahhaha @10 for the win
Posted by emmaz on May 21, 2014 at 8:20 PM · Report this
14
Arthur is fucked up. Maybe he has a mail order bride from Manila he can't get rid of.
Posted by longwayhome on May 21, 2014 at 8:36 PM · Report this
15
By the way, arthur, My N.W.com is a good place to make stupid comments about issues you know nothing about. Go there and stay.
Posted by longwayhome on May 21, 2014 at 8:47 PM · Report this
Baby Blue 16
@10 Wins the internet today.

Regardless of whether this child wanted a different relationship than his father wanted, his feelings of abandonment and anger are totally valid. Seriously, a dad who can't even be bothered to wish his son a happy birthday once a year is at the least neglectful but likely deserves much more colorful language. The lashing out about his porn habits and numerous marriages are petty but anything short of criminal offenses that helps this kid in his healing process gets my seal of approval. I hope putting this out there works in that regard and that he has a good counselor to work with moving forward.
Posted by Baby Blue on May 21, 2014 at 11:29 PM · Report this
Seattlebcc 17
Good evening sir, Bitter, party of one! Thats what people will say to you if you dont let it go. Ive had a parent like this with a slight twist to it. All I can say is pitty him, try to understand him and his background, be a bigger person and love him as your father without conditions and the hardest thing to do - forgive him. Otherwise it will just eat at you for the rest of your life til his actions or lack of action take over your life and end up influencing your decisions the rest of your life. Dont give it a second thought and be better instead of a sniveling little whinner that you are already starting to sound like.
Posted by Seattlebcc on May 22, 2014 at 4:15 AM · Report this
Seattlebcc 18
Good evening sir, Bitter, party of one! Thats what people will say to you if you dont let it go. Ive had a parent like this with a slight twist to it. All I can say is pitty him, try to understand him and his background, be a bigger person, don't ever wish him or anyone ill, and love him as your father without conditions and the hardest thing to do - forgive him. Otherwise it will just eat at you for the rest of your life til his actions or lack of action take over and end up influencing your decisions for the rest of your life. Dont give it a second thought and be better instead of a sniveling little whinner that you are already starting to sound like.
Posted by Seattlebcc on May 22, 2014 at 4:18 AM · Report this
19
Actually Manilla has shopping malls that make the Supermall look like a Stop-N-Go.

I know this because I just returned from a visit with my half-my-age Filipina fiance.

Small world huh?
Posted by bigscreenisbetterthankids on May 22, 2014 at 11:28 AM · Report this
keshmeshi 20
@7,

My father's fifth marriage was "successful" insofar as he died before they could divorce. And also his fifth wife was very devoted to his money.

That said, given that the Filipina wife will be able to ditch his ass in two years, the father better get busy dying if he wants to hold to "'til death do us part".

@17,

Why should he love someone who doesn't love him? Having been through this myself, the best advice I can give is to cut toxic family members out of your life completely. Biology does not equal love or obligation. The father has proven that already.
Posted by keshmeshi on May 22, 2014 at 1:31 PM · Report this
21
One of my buddies awhile back claimed to have banged is stepmom, and his "half brother" was actually his son. We all laughed it off as braggart BS. Fast forward 20 yrs and genetic testing proved he was telling the truth all along! So maybe the mail-order bride has it goin on and she's privy to long-standing Amertican customs like doinkin the virile stepson! Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness!
Posted by The Biggest Dick in Ballard on May 22, 2014 at 2:33 PM · Report this
22
@8 I don't care how difficult a child is, there is no excuse for giving up on your kid and walking away. And even if he is difficult, it can't be for no reason. It has to be because they were raised to be that way. Parents get the kids they raise or in this case the one he failed to raise.

Btw, I have a college student friend of my kids staying with us for summer break because she doesn't get along with her parents. They kept kicking her out. Funny thing, though, she has no problem getting along with us. So yeah, I don't buy that parents are just victims of their ingrate kids. Parents help make their kids who they are. If you can't get along with your own kids, you screwed up.
Posted by Diagoras on May 22, 2014 at 4:18 PM · Report this
23
Arthur makes me laugh every damn week, without fail. Sure, he's incredibly mean-spirited at times but he's so not "touchy-feely let's dance around the campfire singing Kumbaya" that I have to love him. Oh, and Seattlebcc? Learn to spell! It's W-H-I-N-E-R, not 'whinner'. Also, pity the poor fool who spells pity as P-I-T-T-Y.
Posted by DrummerGrrl on May 22, 2014 at 8:06 PM · Report this
24
What I take from this is that why would a person go to Manila (airfare $1200) to bring back a woman with a young son (add $2400) They can't speak English, the culture shock will be an issue, as they have never had running water or a working toilet. What are men thinking when they bring these women over here as partners? Sex? Jesus Christ! There are plenty of women over here that would be willing to be sex partners and friends, I guess the reason is that these men are really screwed up and can't stay in a relationship with any person. Sheesh!
Posted by longwayhome on May 22, 2014 at 8:52 PM · Report this
25
@19 Good luck and keep a close eye on your debit card.
Posted by longwayhome on May 22, 2014 at 9:00 PM · Report this
TCLballardwallymont 26
@24 "they have never had running water or a working toilet."

What the fuck. You do know that countries which aren't the US have things like plumbing and electricity, right?
Posted by TCLballardwallymont on May 23, 2014 at 1:22 PM · Report this
27
@26 Internet sex scams come from the slums of Manila. Worse than the worst garbage pit of the universe. Believe me, I've been there and there is no worse place to go than there.
Posted by longwayhome on May 23, 2014 at 8:12 PM · Report this
28
And by the way, go fuck yourself arthur! Go to My N.W.Com where they will love to rip you another asshole for being the asshole that you truly are. Love you!
Posted by longwayhome on May 23, 2014 at 8:20 PM · Report this
29
Believe it or not, LongFartHome, even in the slums of Manila, and the favela of Sao Paulo you will find toilets that flush. Do you think that these populated places have rivers of shit running down the streets? While there are places like that, the slums of Manila are not one of them. But you have never been these places and only get your "outrage" from your left-wing fantasy.

Maybe *YOU* should go on over to MyNW.com, as your childish "outrage" unrelated to reality would fit right in over there, where instead of discussion, they shout out opposing views. Yes, you would fit right in.

In other words, LongFart, fuck off.
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on May 24, 2014 at 11:11 AM · Report this
30
And also "LongWayHome", why so secretive about your commenting activity here? Why are you afraid of people seeing your comment history?
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on May 24, 2014 at 11:13 AM · Report this
31
O.K. Arthur, I apologize for my previous comments and I will change my comment history. My experiences with Manila were limited and I had a bad involvement with an internet person that made me a little bitter. Sorry for insulting you, I know it's not cool to be an asshole to persons you don't know and I'm guilty as charged.
Posted by longwayhome on May 24, 2014 at 8:12 PM · Report this
32
By the way, do you still love me?
Posted by longwayhome on May 24, 2014 at 8:13 PM · Report this
33
By the way, do you still love me?
I've never stopped loving you, though after the Restraining Order, I was a bit confused. My therapist speaks only German, but I think I'm getting better. It's hard to tell...
Posted by Arthur Zifferelli on May 25, 2014 at 9:35 PM · Report this
34
Phew! I couldn't sleep thinking I had offended your delicate sensibilities. I kept waiting for the "knock on the door" from the Stranger gestapo come to get me. (Glad you responded)
Posted by longwayhome on May 26, 2014 at 2:30 PM · Report this
35
@2

I almost felt the same way. Hating divorced dads is similar to motherly resentment, but it doesnt get as much sympathy/coverage because 'derr penis party = no one gives a shit'.
Posted by araucania on May 28, 2014 at 2:03 AM · Report this

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