Dear Poseur Fuckhead: It must be hard being the savior of Seattle's benighted small businesses. We should be grateful for the way people like you have pushed rent into the stratosphere and turned South Lake Union, Capitol Hill, and Queen Anne into your soulless, condo-choked playgrounds. It's a wonder more people don't stop to shake your hand. Locals aren't happy about the influx of "well-paid, well-educated tech workers" because the dollars you throw at local businesses come at the cost of rising prices for rent and services for ALL of us. This forces the very people you claim to be supporting out of the city. This exodus of small businesses and residents in turn destroys the quirky character of the city that drew you assholes here in the first place. If that's what your money buys, you can keep it. Oh, and no, you are not "just as much" a Seattleite as the remaining few of us who've lived here our whole lives. You don't even need to tell us you're a transplant—actual locals can spot you from a block away.

—Anonymous