Don't tell me to relax when you pull passive-aggressive Seattle shit in the post office, you stupid cunt. The counters are for doing exactly what you were doing when you reached the front of the line—getting your shit together BEFORE you get in line. There are even counters by the postal boxes where YOU ARE NOT IN THE WAY. You thought you were so cute, whipping out your cell phone to loudly announce to everyone waiting in line that you were sending a cancer care package. Your friend probably DESERVES to have cancer if she is, like you, a self-centered and passive-aggressive bitch.

—Anonymous