You don't understand why I'm not speaking to you?! I realized that hitting the peace pipe three times a day had slowed you down a bit, but I didn't know it had made you retarded. Let me spell it out for you: It is WRONG to tell someone you love them, knowing full well that you don't mean it. Especially when you do it for over a year. You say you had a lot going on? I was unaware that being unemployed and tripping to shitty jam bands with your buddies constituted "a lot," but I guess surfing for all that porn really tied you up. I'm an effing catch, you moron, and the less time I spend with you, the more I realize it. The only thing I hate worse than a white, educated, filthy-rich, meticulously self-styled "hippie" is a lying one. My only hope for you is that when your parents yank the silver spoon from your ass, you fall flat on your face.

—Anonymous