Beware of Grandpa

Dearest sister-in-law: It's been three years since you've been married into my family. Congrats on the baby news—I hear you'll be a new mother in June. I'm happy for you, but worry for your child's safety. I hope you haven't forgotten my father is still a pedophile. It would be fair to say he got to me by the ripe ol' age of 3 with some light finger banging to start. God willing, his body will be riddled with cancer and he'll be too weak to molest his grandchild, but I wouldn't rely on that. Feel free to decline on the gratuitous child-care offers from my father. Please be careful.


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Comments (47) RSS

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wondergus 1
How did you remember when you were only 3 years old?
Posted by wondergus on April 28, 2010 at 11:42 AM · Report this
Posted by jenc01 on April 28, 2010 at 11:44 AM · Report this
Perhaps this shouldn't be anonymous...
Posted by Spring for a Stamp for fuck's sake! on April 28, 2010 at 11:53 AM · Report this
Please also tell your sister-in-law directly so she can keep her child safe.
Posted by DinahMoeHumm on April 28, 2010 at 12:48 PM · Report this
I remember things from when I was 3. Why not?

I hope that the author isn't keeping this anonymous. The sister-in-law needs to know if there's a danger.
Posted by CleverScreenName on April 28, 2010 at 12:52 PM · Report this
Why is this anonymous? This mother needs to know and this child needs to be protected. Preventing family dischord should be a secondary concern.
Posted by ctmcmull on April 28, 2010 at 1:47 PM · Report this
If something terrible happens to you when you were 3, you remember. I remember a family member's serious injury from around when I was 3, and that is *way* less traumatic than being molested by your father.
Posted by AnathemaT on April 28, 2010 at 2:01 PM · Report this
Why does this come off like "how dare you bring a child into this family"?! Obviously your brother and sister in law need to make absolutely sure that your father is never alone with the child (I'd vote for never in the presence of the child) but maybe, just maybe in the interest of protecting your soon to be niece or nephew you should have a frank conversation with both of them (please note I did say both of them, I doubt your sister in law got herself pregnant) about what your father is capable of instead of sending passive aggressive notes to a paper she may or may not read? Just a thought.
Posted by mynameisn'there on April 28, 2010 at 4:12 PM · Report this
Honestly, if you remember this and don't say anything, then you will have to take a nice, big slice of the responsibility for anything awful that may happen as a result of your silence.
If they don't believe you, on them. If they don't believe you and cut you off (hey, it happens), that would suck, but it wouldn't be as soul-rotting as knowing that he's abusing your niece or nephew while you knowingly look the other way.
Posted by DF on April 28, 2010 at 4:33 PM · Report this
Just plain sad.
Posted by wileEcoyote on April 28, 2010 at 4:42 PM · Report this
@3, @4, @6:

"I hope you haven't forgotten my father is still a pedophile."

See, the sister-in-law already knows. This is just a gentle reminder . . . oh, and something for the rest of us voyeuristic judgemental assholes to comment on.
Posted by It always helps if you read each word on April 28, 2010 at 4:53 PM · Report this
growler 12
how dare you try and tarnish the image of this childs grandparent before he/she even meets them?!?!? grandpa should be able to have a clean slate with the baby. i'm sure he's had to face alot of trials and prejudice for his minor past errors. GIVE HIM A BREAK!!! get over yourself and your past. ugh, noone cares! LEAVE GRANDPA ALONE! let the new one figure things out on its own, just like you did. talk about arrogance. you make me sick.
kidding. you f'ers get nice and fired up? ha.
Posted by growler on April 28, 2010 at 5:30 PM · Report this
I remember back to when I was three.

And whoever wrote this fucking thing needs to step up.
Posted by Judah on April 28, 2010 at 5:30 PM · Report this
um is grandpa a catholic priest? oh thats right it was little girls he was into, never mind. pedo bear knows where you sleep at night! comon anon try harder. yet another bullshit post.
Posted by gillettebret on April 28, 2010 at 6:17 PM · Report this
anh 15
I believe the proper word would be 'pederast.'

As for remembering things from the age of 3, I broke my arm by falling off of a slide when I was 2. That is my first clear memory. Think about the first thing you remember clearly. Was it something traumatic? How old were you when it happened? You might not remember exactly what life was like then or which cartoon character you loved, but you would most likely remember being molested or having some sort of trauma at that age.
Posted by anh on April 28, 2010 at 8:32 PM · Report this
MissDisney 16
you can absolutely remember things from your childhood, even trauma (i am sure i have blocked out most of my childhood, i only have 3 memories)

i understand not saying anything, but i dont know if i could if i thought my niece was in danger...something that happened to me, that i dealt with, i can live with not telling my family that...but you NEED to tell SOMEONE that has the power...why not your brother, its his little girl that is in danger
Posted by MissDisney on April 29, 2010 at 1:03 AM · Report this
@12: molesting a child is more than a "minor past error". Your making light of it is terrible. I agree with other posters that she should warn the baby's parents directly about the creepy grampa.
Posted by buggy on April 29, 2010 at 1:10 AM · Report this
Grampy, no!
Posted by Hybrid Vigor on April 29, 2010 at 1:38 AM · Report this
Moderate 19 the whole post. @12 declares he's kidding at the end there.
Posted by Moderate on April 29, 2010 at 6:12 AM · Report this
TVDinner 20
@15: Pederasty is when a man has sex with an adolescent boy. Pedophilia is when an adult or adolescent is sexually aroused by prepubescent children.

I'm going to go take a shower now.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on April 29, 2010 at 7:34 AM · Report this
At age 11, I was the victim of molestation and ultimately a rape at the hands of an alleged "friend" of the family. Years later, I learned that two people who had known Sam before my family met him knew exactly what he was and neither of these people, knowing I was at risk, made the slightest effort to pull me off the railroad tracks.
I hold those two people, who could have protected me with a single sentence whispered to my mom, just as responsible as the sick fuck who did the actual deeds.

I hope like hell this writer has taken more direct steps to protect her neice (and future little ones)from what she endured.
Posted by Silence can be a sin on April 29, 2010 at 7:53 AM · Report this
I definitely think she should warn her sister-in-law about Grandpa. I just had this conversation with my fiancee about when we have kids. I was molested as a child by a relative, spoke up about it, but my family did nothing about it. I do feel responsible for the other kids this "uncle" is out there molesting, but theres nothing else I can do about it. I'm quite sure the statue of limitation has passed for me. I will just be sure to protect my future child from the pedofile molester in my family.
Posted by Person on April 29, 2010 at 8:47 AM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 23
Well, when you dress like a 3 year old slut you were just asking for it! Jeeze!!
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on April 29, 2010 at 10:08 AM · Report this
Just to pile on the folks doubting anon's memory of abuse, she said it "started" at age 3. Presumably it did not stop at that tender age. And plus, I have fairly vivid memories from that age, as do many people.

For instance, I distinctly remember around that time, about 1970 or so, Gillettebret's mother coming up to my family's car at a truckstop, begging to give the family dog a blowjob in exchange for a swig of Listerine. Little did she know that we pissed in it first! Sorry, Gilletebret's mom! Ha ha!
Posted by BettyGillette on April 29, 2010 at 10:24 AM · Report this
She says "you haven't forgotten" indicating she has already informed the sister-in-law or the she somehow already knows.
Posted by quidgimo on April 29, 2010 at 11:17 AM · Report this
Prostitot had it coming...
Posted by mmmm...mung on April 29, 2010 at 4:40 PM · Report this
Since everyone seems fixated on the 3 y.o. memory thing, the writer never actually said she remembered what happened when she was three. She said "it would be fair to say he got to me by the ripe old age of 3." For all we know, mom caught him in the act at some point, divorced him and he went to jail and is now a registered sex offender, hence the "reminder" to s.i.l. Could have been a couple decades or more ago, and dad and bro still have a relationship.
Posted by Mr.E. on April 29, 2010 at 5:27 PM · Report this
@#12 you are so wrong. once a pedophile always a pedophile. i come from a family history of child rape that goes back generations. people know and it is still happening. some of them have gone to jail, some haven't. how dare she tarnish grandpa's good name? how about someone stop good ole grandpa from raping babies! the sexual abuse of a child destroys their soul and everything and anything should be done to stop to a pedophile before it happens. i hope this person has the guts to go to this person and tell her to her face. we live in a world where 1 in 4 children are raped before the age of 18 - and look around at who is doing the raping - the catholic church is doing more than their fair share! not a world i'm happy to live in.
Posted by are you kidding me? on April 29, 2010 at 10:16 PM · Report this
i knew i had a following, but dam! now they are naming themselves after me! squeal! i finally have a stalker, yay! next step my own column, but what will we call it? i all-ways liked the segment on almost live called "whats weak this week" and like they all-ways said at the end bettygillette "TOTALY WEAK!"
Posted by gillettebret on April 30, 2010 at 2:09 AM · Report this
@are you kidding me?

Yes. They were kidding.
Posted by SCalmlyW on April 30, 2010 at 7:30 AM · Report this
Incredible 31
bret, i'll read your column, but you need to continue to fart in everyone's brainpan in the comments. otherwise, there will be boredom.

(I fantasize that you are really el duce from the mentors living incognito...)
Posted by Incredible on April 30, 2010 at 8:47 AM · Report this
Fenrox 32
Man, Its no fun to yell FAKE when the letter actually is fake...
Posted by Fenrox on April 30, 2010 at 11:08 AM · Report this
Sat'n 33
el duce died after passing out drunk on the train tracks.
Posted by Sat'n on April 30, 2010 at 11:17 AM · Report this
I remember things when I was 1! I hope that your sis-inlaw reads Stranger and sees this.
Posted by AiYahh on April 30, 2010 at 4:47 PM · Report this
Sounds to me like some needy bitch has daddy issues.

"Oh No! I've made a mess of my life and I'm too wonderful to have done that. It must have been some sort of molestation. Otherwise, I'll have to face my failings as a human!
Posted by Sometimes a dumb slut is just a dumb slut on April 30, 2010 at 10:43 PM · Report this
Why would you put this in I, Anonymous? Are you hoping your sister-in-law will read the stranger, read this article, and be like, "Hm, I wonder if that is me? I'd better not let my child get close to my grandfather-in-law!"

Fucking idiot, tell her straight to her face.
Posted by aplfalconos on May 2, 2010 at 9:16 AM · Report this
This is the worst I Anonymous ever. It shouldn't be anonymous, and it doesn't help anyone or give any enjoyment to strangers reading it.
Anonymous: remind her YOURSELF.
Posted by SaraJean on May 3, 2010 at 11:28 AM · Report this
Don't wait for cancer to end him, just get a pipe wrench and go to town.
Posted by Yawgmoth on May 3, 2010 at 2:50 PM · Report this
A more appropriate forum for this, I can imagine
Posted by ariel on May 3, 2010 at 9:06 PM · Report this
Incredible 40
@33 They moved those tracks while he was sleeping. Courtney Love's orders. That's what I heard.
Posted by Incredible on May 4, 2010 at 8:06 AM · Report this
Does no one else get the feeling that the Writer is estranged from the SIL and Brother?
Posted by BadDog on May 4, 2010 at 10:51 AM · Report this
Evidently, it's not yet occurred to anyone that the author was seizing an opportunity to publicly expose her father's horrible deeds? Even if he manages to read this I Anonymous, surely others around her, him, and its intended recipient will. I'm sure writing it was fairly cathartic for her. Bravo.
Posted by meemeemeemee on May 7, 2010 at 6:46 PM · Report this
MissDisney 43
cathartic yes, but effective? no...and this isnt "you fucked me over so im pissed"

there is a danger a child could be permanently scarred.....while it feels good to get it out there, this isnt about the author, it should be about the child
Posted by MissDisney on May 7, 2010 at 7:14 PM · Report this
Bluejean Baby 44
@ 12 (growler) well, i didn't laugh at your "joke". How low down sick-o are you? This is no joke, when a toddler is abused like IA was... i didn't laugh at your post, and i'm sure not many others did either.

I have a memory of when i was 1 yr old... i cut myself and had to get stitches. While i don't remember the pain of the cut, i remember seeing the blood dripping from my cut, then walking to the clinic with my Mom. I don't remember actually getting the stitches though. I have tried to discect this to learn why i remember certain but not all parts of this scenario; i'm not sure. At first i thought it was the pain that brought the memories, but, no... if that is the case, then i would have remembered getting the stitches (anyone who has gotten stitches will attest to the spiking pain). Just trying to be an armchair psychologist.

But to make fun of someone else's pain?... that's just shallow and ignorant. Grow up.
Posted by Bluejean Baby on May 7, 2010 at 7:43 PM · Report this
It's a nice and uncomfortable topic that is very real. I can respect the jokes making light of this only because the real solution has nothing to do with calling the authorities. Any adult that molests any child needs to be taken for a long drive in the country never to be seen again. That's the rough reality of the situation as far as I'm concerned. One of the few exceptions when life ending violence is called for. I don't care to pay for Gramps treatment, incarceration or pollution. I'll put up on a shovel though.
Posted by Where's The Love? on May 14, 2010 at 11:56 PM · Report this
My grandfather, LaVerne, was a pedarest. He abused my mom and many of his step daughters. Although my youngest aunt, Lori, was never abused and never listened to the 'don't trust daddy' warnings her sister gave. I'm sure that walking in on LaVerne fingering her 2 year was a real eye opener. I hope that those defending these baby-fuckers and those with no empathy rot in their own feces.
Posted by Turner man on May 20, 2010 at 9:34 PM · Report this
This is a matter for the justice system, not an internet website. Grampa needs to go to jail. YOU are the adult now Anon, protect other children.
Posted by Stargazer on May 28, 2010 at 11:54 AM · Report this

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