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I, Anonymous

I Had to Fire Someone Today

I, Anonymous

Steven Weissman

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I had been friends with this person for more than five years. Some time last year she sorta turned on me and we stopped being friends. We were still friendly, but you know when things change like that... it just sucks.

I am not her boss, so it's not like I was actually the person who fired her. However, I was the person who did all the legwork for her boss, and I brokered the deal that got her severance and notice instead of just getting the boot a few months ago. I did all the interviews to find her replacement. I was objective and dispassionate throughout, doing my best to be helpful to her in finding a new position while doing my job in supporting her boss by giving him what he wanted, which was to get rid of her. She keeps telling me, "God will provide" when I ask how her job search is going. I don't know how to help someone who says that.

But today he kicked her out, three days early from the deal. And I had to tell her, go through all her files with her, take her badge and keys, drive her to the Metro. She wouldn't hug me good-bye—she couldn't get away from me fast enough.

I dropped her off and then just drove. I didn't know what to do. I was so sad. I felt like I was the one who had been fired. I finally stopped in a mall parking lot and cried. This whole day sucked. I hope she finds a job soon. recommended

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Comments (42) RSS

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Sat'n 1
God will provide the hug you lost.
Posted by Sat'n on May 12, 2010 at 10:35 AM · Report this
2
Why didn't you drop her off at the mall so she could look for a job there?
Posted by MacGruber on May 12, 2010 at 11:25 AM · Report this
3
"Reeny reeny reeny, I'm a little bitch" is all I heard. I've found that it's a lot easier to fire someone than to lay someone off. Quit your bitchin and thank her god that you still have a job- especially given your whiny ass nature.
Posted by jenc01 on May 12, 2010 at 12:02 PM · Report this
jfljoe 4
I bet there was a McDonalds or Jack in the Box around. Thing is, she probably would've been hated by the boss there, too. Funny how she has made her plight of being out of a job sound like she is Job. How nice. Maybe Mars Hill is hiring. Not your problem, regardless.
Posted by jfljoe on May 12, 2010 at 12:07 PM · Report this
TVDinner 5
It's nice to be compassionate and it speaks well of a person to feel so bad for another human being in a shitty situation, but, "I felt like I was the one who had been fired?" No, you didn't. You had somewhere to be the next day.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on May 12, 2010 at 12:09 PM · Report this
growler 6
huh.....ya....
you know that 'stranger personals' ad just above this comments section? MorganAnn, the chic with the blue eyes/baby face?...........

she's hot.
Posted by growler on May 12, 2010 at 12:47 PM · Report this
mixy 7
Aw, I'm sorry. You did your best.
Posted by mixy on May 12, 2010 at 1:24 PM · Report this
Anthropomorhpise Me 8
Why would you want a hug from someone who you don't want to help?
Posted by Anthropomorhpise Me on May 12, 2010 at 3:22 PM · Report this
9
SHOULDA DROPPED HER OFF AT RICKS. WHAT? OH THATS RIGHT THE GOV OWNS RICKS AND HONEYS NOW. JUST TAKE HER TO THE CORNER AND DROP HER HO ASS OFF. SHE HAD LEAD TIME ON THIS TO GET HER SHIT TOGETHER. TOUGH SHIT, WAIT THE TRILLONS OF DOLLARS WE SPENT ON OBAMAS STIMULUS PLAN WILL PROVIDE PROVIDE MILLIONS OF JOBS. WHAT IT DIDN'T? REALLY? AW SHIT, I THOUGHT HE WAS BARAC THE MAGIC NEGRO , GUESS HES NOT SO MAGIC, TELL HER TO MOVE TO A NICE SOCIALIST COUNTRY LIKE GREECE. WHAT? FAILED TOO DAM! I DUNNO THEN. WAIT I HEAR THERE ARE MAID ,AND GARDENER JOBS COMING OPEN IN ARIZONA ! GET TO PEDDLIN THAT BIKE HONEY.
Posted by gillettebret on May 12, 2010 at 4:05 PM · Report this
10
@growler-

She is hot! I can't stop staring at her gorgeous eyes!
Posted by jenc01 on May 12, 2010 at 5:11 PM · Report this
11
@1
hahahahaha. oh yeah.
Posted by vegansaladparty on May 12, 2010 at 8:05 PM · Report this
Slam1263 12
Yeah the joys of promotion, and then they ask you to let half of your co workers go.
Posted by Slam1263 on May 13, 2010 at 12:34 AM · Report this
Moderate 13
I had to kill a bird yesterday. Just so it wouldn't continue to suffer. Its spine snapped like a birthday candle. I felt a lot like you do I think.
Posted by Moderate on May 13, 2010 at 6:47 AM · Report this
14
@13

I twisted the heads off of upwards of 100 spot shrimp yesterday. And they are delicious.
Posted by ctmcmull on May 13, 2010 at 7:57 AM · Report this
Timmytee 15
Best I,A in quite a while. Thanks.
Posted by Timmytee on May 13, 2010 at 8:13 AM · Report this
16
Self-serving, whiny, complaining of being put in an awkward position because the I,A originator couldn't keep her big fat nose out of other people's business, and self-indulgently bitchy about how horrible it is this person is fired and how she didn't get a hug from said person afterwards.

I wouldn't say it's the best I,A in a while, but it's certainly ranking with the better public flagellation ones that try to expunge the dirty little guilt by airing it in public.
Posted by Trengos on May 13, 2010 at 9:14 AM · Report this
17
If you brokered the "deal" that got this person terminated, regardless of whether you were the one making sure the parachute had some gold chasing on it, you still actively were campaigning for this person's termination.

Which means you actively participated in a smackdown on her resume. Yeah. And you're SHOCKED she didn't want to hug you?

I have this other idea, and hear me out - maybe she, like most other people, don't want to deal, see, or have anything to do with the backstabbing bitch that was her friend, then went behind her back and wound up working with people to get her fired.

I know, crazy, right? Why would ANYONE think that about this situation? Because she didn't give you a hug to gladhand your fucking ego.
Posted by Goosher on May 13, 2010 at 9:19 AM · Report this
18
@9: Good Lord, you're a shouty troll.
Posted by imp on May 13, 2010 at 10:54 AM · Report this
19
Brett from Gillette Wy. Me and some good ol boys from out east here are going to come get you. Then we're gonna deport your punk ass right out back to the wind swept shitty rockies where you belong!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! Seriously, I hope you work for Seattle PD and that someone caps your ass on duty, that'd be worthy!
Posted by scorpio of Id. on May 13, 2010 at 11:39 AM · Report this
20
Wow, I can't believe the comments are trending anti-Anony. Was she supposed to quit her job in protest of former friend being ousted? It's quite possible the fired one was incompetent. They wanted her gone so badly they showed her door 3 days early. So anony brokered the deal? That's what you do if it's part of your job. Doesn't say she campaigned for former friend to get fired. I've been in the same position; tried really hard to prevent co-workers from losing their jobs, even my enemies. They didn't get it and didn't appreciate it.

Anonymous, you did your job, you still have a soul. More than a lot of people can say.
Posted by TheOtherWoman on May 13, 2010 at 12:19 PM · Report this
Incredible 21
Whatever. That's my comment on this. God will provide: :)
Posted by Incredible on May 13, 2010 at 12:29 PM · Report this
22
Your unprofessionalism is clearly illustrated by a fucking hug for shitsake? you will probably be next in line.
Posted by Snatch on May 14, 2010 at 6:18 AM · Report this
23
It's that "God will provide" attitude that probably got her fired in the first place. Whenever I hear people says stuff like this I go into blank stare mode and walk away.
Posted by Crash on May 14, 2010 at 10:53 AM · Report this
24
And why is it when bad stuff happens people don't say "God god me fired! He must hate me!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Posted by LakeCityJay on May 14, 2010 at 12:02 PM · Report this
marklar 25
There's something to be said for compassion
Posted by marklar on May 15, 2010 at 1:06 AM · Report this
Karl42 26
@6 and @10:

Yes, not only amazing eyes, but she has that scared look, and the man's arm on her shoulder. I want to punch that guy she wants to get away from and protect her. Is that creepy?
Posted by Karl42 on May 15, 2010 at 6:25 AM · Report this
27
While there are people who sometimes get fired through no fault of their own ... most of the people who are fired created their own problems. Your former friend was probably no different.

Feel sympathy for her ... and hope she learns something instead of putting everything in god's hands.
Posted by El Brucio on May 16, 2010 at 3:55 PM · Report this
28
I still read this and think, "Sweet Jesus, if you'd just kept the hell out of the way, it's entirely possible that she would have still been employed and you wouldn't be looking exactly like a manipulative ho-baggy."

Right now I personally wouldn't want to be the next person to make "friends" with you in the office for the simple reason that you look like a poisonous, manipulative bitch, I,A.

No matter how much of a pity party you want to throw for how bad you feel. It's a learning experience for both of you - hopefully she'll learn to actually do some work and you'll learn not to be a fearful little corporate climber.
Posted by TDM on May 16, 2010 at 8:39 PM · Report this
29
I think the fact that you're obscure about why the friendship fell apart is suspicious. Did it fall apart because she stopped caring about her job, or did it fall apart because maybe you both competed for a promotion, or maybe her boss obviously favors you in a way that's unfair.

Her boss is a ballsack for making you do it. That's HR's job or his job. He's a dick, and he's a bad manager for giving the job to you. But you as an employee could have said "dude.. you're the manager here, and if you don't want her working for you, you have to do something about it."

I wonder why you were even involved, particularly in light of the fact that you had a personal relationship with her. I wonder about a company that lets coworkers participate in what sounds like a witch hunt for this employee. I wouldn't have hugged you either, and I'd have given you the finger, if I didn't quit already.

Now that she's gone, you can resume sucking up to her boss, and hope that someone else doesn't do the same thing to you.
Posted by MinnySota on May 17, 2010 at 9:56 AM · Report this
growler 30
@26; ironically i haven't seen her pic since i posted that comment. somethings wrong. that guy you speak of is probably behind it.
TIME FOR ACTION!
if you would like to contribute to the 'free morganann now' organization. please write to;
growler
123 fourfivesix street
bellingham, wa 98225
Posted by growler on May 17, 2010 at 12:17 PM · Report this
31
@17--it sounds like Anony is in HR, so it's probably her job to help organize people's severance packages and run interference in this kind of situation. That has nothing to do with initiating a termination.
Posted by lulubelle on May 17, 2010 at 6:55 PM · Report this
32
you did what you had to do.
Posted by brokn2pieces on May 18, 2010 at 4:41 AM · Report this
33
@30: Last I knew, her profile's blocked anyway. She probably needs more protection from random people on the Stranger sending her correspondence than whoever she was out with that night.
Posted by madcap on May 18, 2010 at 10:29 AM · Report this
growler 34
@33 ohhh ya. for sure.
but isn't it more fun this weeks I,ANON?

yes.
Posted by growler on May 18, 2010 at 2:57 PM · Report this
yucca flower 35
Meh, I have co-workers who're total ass-holes. Most are not, but a couple of them are hope-less bags of dicks. They show up late, take ciggy breaks all the live long day, take long lunches, and leave early after effing up every job you give them. Then when they get called on it they bitch and whine about how corporate and the boss is out to get them. Sorry, Anon, but your relationship with this twat ended long before she got canned. Probably when you started succeeding and she kept failing. She had plenty of chances to improve, but blew them all. That's not your fault...although I'm sure in her twisted, empty little head she's blaming you, the boss, the corporation for her failure instead of admitting she's the one who sucks.
Posted by yucca flower on May 18, 2010 at 6:32 PM · Report this
36
Nice, big art. Thank you!
Posted by anthropos on May 19, 2010 at 7:00 AM · Report this
37
This is the kind of sackless, duplicitous psycho-torture that made me bail the fuck out of corporate employment almost twenty years ago. Her boss may very well be a toxic, spineless puke for making her fire her former friend, but there are soooo many of them in that white-collar hell that it hardly bears mentioning. Bail. Get a skilled trade, or work for small or local businesses. It's no guarantee, but smaller companies don't have enough vertical space for people to really distance themselves from the shit they create, and so *generally* people tend to be a bit more careful about where and how they make it.
Posted by DF on May 19, 2010 at 10:32 AM · Report this
38
You did good. Her performance or attitude got her fired, not you. You did the right thing. You did your job and helped her out as best you could.

She probably "couldn't get away from you fast enough" because she was emotional, upset and consumed with her own thoughts on the matter. Not because she was set out to deny you a 'hug'.

A good cry is healthy. Bet she had one too (that or a few shots at the bar).
Posted by Stargazer on May 28, 2010 at 5:03 AM · Report this
bunckycrack 39
did god provide her a buss pass.........gotta love ridin the shame train
Posted by bunckycrack on May 28, 2010 at 5:22 AM · Report this
40
"God will provide" ???

You know why someone's diety has to provide? Because their lazy ass isn't doing their muthaf*ckin' job. That's why their "god" has to provide for them, 'cause they ain't doin' it for theyselves.
Posted by Jackalopus on June 1, 2010 at 1:47 PM · Report this
41
Actually, you showed a lot of compassion and professionalism even after she turned on you...
Posted by rocketman2u on June 1, 2010 at 7:29 PM · Report this
shurenka 42
We don't know why their friendship turned sour. Perhaps IA cheated with the friend's boyfriend or something... or perhaps the friend was an incompetent ballsack, we just don't know. Still, what a bad place to be in. I feel for ya, IA.
Posted by shurenka on March 28, 2012 at 11:00 AM · Report this

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