I, Anonymous

Is That What It Takes?

I, Anonymous

Steven Weissman

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It pained me to watch you hit on my friend last night. She flat-out told you to buy her a drink, and you did. She made up several lies about not having a phone number to give you, all of which you saw through. But you still wanted her number. She stumbled over a fake number, and you called her out on it, but you still wanted her number. She was rude and made fun of you to your face, BUT YOU STILL WANTED HER NUMBER. I don't know whom I was more embarrassed for. Her, for acting like such an asshole; you, for being so damn pathetic; or me, a fun, genuine, and good-looking girl who sat alone all night long. recommended

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Comments (37) RSS

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Wah, give me a break.
Posted by Nerdherder on August 4, 2010 at 12:02 PM · Report this
santababy 2
Ah, such a wonderful reminder of what your 20's look like. Wait til you get older... people don't think it's funny to be an asshole, guys gain some self respect, and you don't look for love at a bar.
Posted by santababy on August 4, 2010 at 12:10 PM · Report this
#2 Santababy FTW!
Posted by Hybrid Vigor on August 4, 2010 at 12:16 PM · Report this
santababy 4
Wait until you're older... then (most) girls don't think it's funny to be assholes, (most) guys develop some self-respect, and you won't go looking for love at a bar.
Posted by santababy on August 4, 2010 at 12:38 PM · Report this
santababy 5
(sorry for the repeat... darn newfangled computers!)
Posted by santababy on August 4, 2010 at 12:40 PM · Report this
maybe if he'd offered her a 20?...
Posted by woofy on August 4, 2010 at 12:57 PM · Report this
Sat'n 7
Hey wait: you're a fun, genuine, and good-looking girl sitting alone at a bar? What's your number? What's your number? What's your number?

Feel better?
Posted by Sat'n on August 4, 2010 at 1:03 PM · Report this
2+2=5 8
Sitting alone is a choice.
You could have reached out to anyone else (unless the place was empty).

Or if you wanted the guy who wanted your girlfriend then you should have just made some moves.
Posted by 2+2=5 on August 4, 2010 at 2:07 PM · Report this
You'll all idiots. Him for chasing after someone who clearly wasn't interested. Her for trying to give a fake number instead of having the intestinal fortitude to simply say, "Sorry, I"m not interested", or "Sorry, you're not my type" and ending the conversation. And then there's you, silently hanging around someone hoping he'll be interested. Shit or get off the pot. Tell him you're interested or better yet, move on to someone who shows some interest in you and who isn't so obviously a douche.
Posted by Diagoras on August 4, 2010 at 5:19 PM · Report this
freesandbags 10
All alone. You still love him.....don't you.
Posted by freesandbags on August 4, 2010 at 7:36 PM · Report this
"You'll all idiots" i'm starting a band called yallaidots who wants to join? it's punk fusion folk rap metal. . . Goth
Posted by Joe Kikass on August 4, 2010 at 9:32 PM · Report this
Next time flash him some boobie.
Posted by MacGruber on August 4, 2010 at 11:22 PM · Report this
growler 13
don't think we'll reach 180 comments this week.


Posted by growler on August 5, 2010 at 12:26 AM · Report this
@13 Hey, how about those assholes' wedding last week? Weren't they assholes? What an assholish wedding! I bet lots of idiots were asking for each other's phone numbers at that incredibly assholish wedding. Assholes!
Posted by Schick on August 5, 2010 at 7:18 AM · Report this
Hun, thing is, neither of them have given this a second thought.
Posted by Paddy Mac on August 5, 2010 at 8:20 AM · Report this
Fenrox 16
Posted by Fenrox on August 5, 2010 at 10:44 AM · Report this
Anthropomorhpise Me 17
Envy is a terrible thing
Posted by Anthropomorhpise Me on August 5, 2010 at 11:49 AM · Report this
Jmily Eohnson 18
I know it's hard to follow up on last week's I, Anon, but damn! This one is a snoozefest!
Posted by Jmily Eohnson on August 5, 2010 at 11:53 AM · Report this
@11, LOL! What in the world was I drinking? I meant to say "You're" not "You'll". Oh well.
Posted by Diagoras on August 5, 2010 at 6:15 PM · Report this
Darlin', I actually DO sympathise with your frustration and (dare I say it?) pain at being a wallflower while an idiot fawns all over a girl who's acting as though her shit smells sweeter than is typical but trust on this- You dodged a bullet, You did not actually want to so much as share a dance or a drink with this guy. Men (and women) who wallow in being treated shabbily tend to be serious downers if you're a right thinking, down to earth, kind, fun person.
You were, I have no doubt, in far better company on your own than either of the two you describe can claim.
Posted by LeBeau59741 on August 5, 2010 at 7:04 PM · Report this

Oh, sorry! I must have dozed off for a minute. Could you repeat the question, Archie, Betty, and Veronica?
Posted by auntie grizelda on August 6, 2010 at 3:56 PM · Report this
BearNecessity 22
#2 santababy epic fucking win. read no further. if you're reading this, you've gone too far.
Posted by BearNecessity on August 7, 2010 at 10:11 PM · Report this
I'm with MacGruber @12. Flash your boobs, but only if you're prepared to ditch your friend, take the guy home, and screw him silly. @20 is probably right that the guy is a loser, but if you wanted to fuck him, you should have just offered.
Posted by EricaP on August 8, 2010 at 2:27 AM · Report this
@21 loooool. Maybe this is the writer trying to test out the newest short for the comic.
Posted by Steppie on August 8, 2010 at 7:24 PM · Report this
skip the bars honey.
Posted by LZito on August 9, 2010 at 7:41 PM · Report this
Dear Anonymous - I would date you.
Posted by labrysswinger on August 10, 2010 at 9:59 AM · Report this
twistedsyx 27
It's inherent with my experience that people (all people) are stupid in some capacity. When these people have general lack of social skills, or desire to discover the truth behind the lie and get drunk they turn into what you saw. Personally. Tell your friend that she needs to be a little more direct with men who flirt with her. Seriously, your friend is a bitch.
Posted by twistedsyx on August 10, 2010 at 10:08 AM · Report this
“So you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home, and you cry, and you want to die...”
Posted by Farts Weird on August 10, 2010 at 10:41 AM · Report this

Can I have it?
Posted by Pechey on August 10, 2010 at 11:54 AM · Report this
At that age, I used to give out the number for Dial-a-Prayer.
Posted by rainydaywoman on August 10, 2010 at 4:46 PM · Report this
devon rocketship 31
you don't have to come and confess, we're lookin' for you, we gon' find you, we gon' find you! so you can run and tell that, run and tell that, run and tell that, homeboy, home home homeboy!
Posted by devon rocketship on August 11, 2010 at 1:11 AM · Report this
vapidhabits 32
1. Make some new friends.
2. Stop expecting to meet nice guys in bars.
3. Being passive and sitting on a barstool all night instead of circulating and introducing yourself doesn't make you an object of pity, it makes you a tool.
4. Boofuckinghoo.
Posted by vapidhabits on August 11, 2010 at 3:38 AM · Report this
@32: 5. Lose some (a lot) of weight so guys will pay attention to you.
Posted by xxxSTEVExxx on August 11, 2010 at 4:38 PM · Report this
biju 34
Posted by biju on August 14, 2010 at 12:50 PM · Report this
@32: where the hell does she mention being overweight? trust me, a lot of women go unnoticed by men even if they're skinny. I've seen it.
Posted by Blackwood on August 15, 2010 at 7:24 PM · Report this
AmyC 36
@30: HA! You win.
Posted by AmyC on August 26, 2010 at 11:40 AM · Report this
@27 easier said than done! if you've been direct and gotten angry man response, i.e. "fuck you bitch!" right in your face for a simple, "no thanks, I'm not interested," it makes it a little harder to risk entitlement wrath from a drunken stranger.

*some* men feel a pretty girl "owes" him.
Posted by dont h8 me on February 28, 2011 at 4:55 PM · Report this

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