To my friend who offed himself (undoubtedly for valid reasons): First of all, you needn't have pointed out the hackneyed cliché "no one gets out of here alive." Duh. Secondly, if you hesitated in taking the rock-music-blamed "suicide solution," puh-leeze: I subscribe to the Japanese ethos, i.e., I formally bow to your choice. Finally, although I don't believe in any afterlife, just in case there is one, I'm COMING AFTER YOUR ASS. I expect to live to approximately 2065—just imagine how many annoying puns and jokes I'll have devised by then (which, by definition, will persist for "eternity") and I will teach you a lesson for depriving us all of your intelligence, gentility, and dry wit. I'm coming after you.