I'm a closet elitist, but only on the phone, and only when calling for customer support, such as to a credit-card company or airline. I make a snap judgment when the attendant answers my call based on their voice. If I hear a slow drawl, or they sound like they're chewing gum or in any way have difficulty pronouncing/enunciating those few words they have been trained to repeat for every call, I hang up right away and hope to get someone smarter-sounding on my next try.

I feel guilty every time I do it, and I hope their supervisors don't take note of how much it might happen to them. I just don't want to spend the next 5 to 20 minutes of my life listening to "uumm" and mouth-breathing. Oh, and if your job entails answering calls, why oh why would you ever be eating or chewing gum at your station? That one I don't feel bad about at all.

And if you tell me to "have a blessed day," I'm filing a complaint. I don't care that you didn't mention God or the Lord. I know what you fucking mean, and I take offense.