This is addressed to the family who took their baby daughter to see The Exorcist with them Sunday afternoon. What the fuck were you thinking? That kid should be at home with a babysitter watching Sesame Street, not watching the scariest, goriest flick of the week in some trashy theater. Did you realize that you also subjected the rest of the audience to your distorted view of parenting? Yes, you saw the blatant glares as you carried your daughter out into the afternoon sun. Have a good fucking time comforting your baby as she wakes your sorry ass up in the middle of the night, screaming, crying, and shitting her pants because she thinks her 12-year-old sister is possessed by the devil. Your idea of quality time is fucked, and so is your kid!

--Anonymous