Monolith, monolith, who has the monolith? While you were smugly resting in your homes after erecting your "renegade art," we were busy plotting its untimely demise. Just as Seattle was starting to become attached to its precious symbol of artistic integrity and idealism, we came to rain on your parade.

Seattle doesn't deserve to have its "intelligence increased" by a mysterious sculpture! You should know by now that Seattle isn't driven by its artists' community, it's driven by dot-com millionaires and idiot politicians. Wake up and stop wasting your effort on building useless art--and get real jobs!

Rest assured that we are taking great pleasure in destroying this ineffective piece of scrap metal. Listening to all the local media hype--the awe-inspiring feeling that it brought to Seattle residents--made us retch. We've done this city a favor.

--The Monolith Thieves