One day, when you left for work at the buttcrack of dawn, I made some changes to your prescription. I spent two and a half hours opening each little Prozac capsule and replacing its contents with sugar. Something amazing happened over the next few weeks--you became normal. You were pleasant to be around, and started having normal human emotions. You were relaxed, fun, and had a healthy sex drive. Oh sure, on some days you had some depression, but the depression always went away! Imagine that! As soon as the Prozac re-entered your system, you went right back to being uptight. I missed the Prozac-less girl and waited to see if she'd return. She never did. I'll always remember the two months of you taking sugar pills instead of Prozac. That was the most wonderful time of my life.

--Anonymous