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I Can't Believe It's Pot Butter!

Holiday Recipes with a Special Magic Ingredient

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Peter O. Zierlein

(Do not do this. Marijuana is illegal. For entertainment purposes only.)

Liven up those dull Thanksgiving side dishes by cooking with pot-laced butter! This will not only make your Thanksgiving dinner more pleasurable, but your relatives more tolerable! But first, a few things you should know about eating weed:

Don't eat uncooked pot; it won't get you high. In order for your body to access the THC, weed needs to be cooked with a fat (butter or oil). Because fats pass through your stomach and don't begin to digest until they reach your small intestine, it takes at least an hour after ingestion before effects develop, and then two to five more hours for the high to peak. Eating pot results in a much longer high than smoking, and often the high comes and goes for several hours in unpredictable waves.

Since eating pot affects the brain and body differently, start with a small dose and wait two hours before deciding to eat more. Never drive while under the influence. The effects of eating too much pot can be unpleasant: You might be dizzy, confused, immobilized, and unable to operate a remote control. If you end up uncomfortably high, remind yourself that it's not possible to overdose on weed, drink some water, take a vitamin, and then go lie down and take a nap until the effects abate.

The Stranger's test kitchen prepared four recipes that will make any Thanksgiving dinner more enjoyable. But remember: It would be wrong—and very illegal—to serve dosed side dishes to unsuspecting relatives. As tempting as it might sound—siblings too stoned to renew rivalries, parents too spaced out to manipulate, the medical trials of elderly relatives rendered suddenly fascinating—resist the urge to set a bowl of pot-laced mashed potatoes on the table next to the inedible broccoli casserole.


POT BUTTER

You will need...

  • Double boiler or heat-safe bowl that fits inside a saucepan
  • Storage container

  • Rubber gloves

  • Cheesecloth

  • Rubber band

  • 1/8 oz. bud or 1/4 oz. shake

  • 1 stick of butter (1/2 cup)

  • Grind or crumble weed until fine.

    Fill bottom pot halfway with water, place butter and weed in top pot (or heat-safe bowl). Set double boiler on stove over medium heat for 30 minutes. Stir occasionally.

    Meanwhile, prepare storage container by rubber-banding a double layer of cheesecloth over top.

    Wearing rubber gloves, pour butter mixture through cheesecloth into container. Remove cheesecloth and squeeze remaining pot butter from it. The butter is hot and will burn—wear the rubber gloves.

    Cover butter and place in fridge to solidify. Pot butter will keep in fridge for one month or freezer for one year. Recipe makes enough to get two people very high or four people moderately high.

    We tested the butter on a baked sweet potato. It melted swiftly into the hot, orange flesh, adding a conspicuous but tolerable grassy flavor, producing a nice, mellow high.


    FUNNY STUFFING

    For six half-cup servings, you will need...

  • 1 box of Kraft Stove Top® Stuffing mix

  • 1 cup of water

  • 1/2 cup pot butter

    In a medium saucepan, bring the water and butter to a boil. Stir in the contents of the stuffing-mix pouch, cover the saucepan, and remove from heat. Let stand five minutes, then fluff with a fork and serve.

    Thanks to the stuffing-mix seasoning, all hint of pot flavor is subsumed in Stove Top's signature herbal saltiness, leaving only yummy stuffing you'd be happy to eat even if it didn't contain drugs. The buzz was soft, sweet, and manageable—perfect for a leisurely family gathering.


    TRASHED POTATOES

    You will need...

  • 1 box Betty Crocker Butter & Herb Instant Mashed Potatoes

  • 1 cup water

  • 3/4 cup milk

  • 2–4 tablespoons pot butter

  • Assorted spices

    In a pot, combine water, milk, and pot butter. Heat until a disgusting green layer of oil forms on top and begins to boil. Remove from heat, stir in dehydrated potato product.

    Betty Crocker calls for two tablespoons of butter, which results in a weak high. Double butter if spending more than an hour with family. While pot flavor is nearly undetectable, potatoes reek of weed—to mask add paprika, oregano, garlic. After one serving, we successfully maintained a jovial phone conversation with our father, though we did accidentally make an ill-received joke about a vibrator.


    PUMPKIN POT SPACE CAKE

    You will need...

  • 1 can (15 oz.) pumpkin purée

  • 1 can (12 oz.) evaporated milk

  • 3 eggs

  • 1/2 cup sugar

  • 4 tsp. pumpkin-pie spice

  • 1 package spice-cake mix

  • 1/2 cup pot butter, melted

  • 1 1/2 cup chopped pecans

    Heat oven to 350 degrees.

    Grease 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Mix pumpkin, milk, eggs, sugar, and pumpkin-pie spice. Pour into pan. Sprinkle cake mix on top of pumpkin mixture and gently stir most of it in. Drizzle melted butter on top of cake mix. Top with pecans.

    Bake 1 hour or until toothpick inserted into center comes out dry.

    This simple dessert has the texture of coffee cake and a flavor similar to both pumpkin and pecan pie. Two hours after eating one piece, we felt a warm glow but not much else. If you can't eat two or three pieces of cake, apply a thick layer of frosting prepared from pot butter and powdered sugar. While Martha Stewart would frown upon the cake's sloppy exterior and the clumsy rectangular pan, both would be at home on a Thanksgiving table next to stuffing from a box and reconstituted mashed potatoes.

    To learn more about the dangers of marijuana go to www.drugfree.org.

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    Comments (28) RSS

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    1
    I like the double boiler method and have used it several times, but a new method has been shared with me and it takes only one big sauce pan,1st fill pan 3/4 of the way up and bring to boil then add 1 stick of butter, then when melted add 2/8 of your kind bud,boil for 30 minutes stiring every 5 after take off stove and cool, at rm temp place in fringe the THC will be infused with the butter and rise to the top; almost all of the fiber and clorifill will stay in the water scoop the large disc of pure happy from the pan and make something with it ???? peace and love to all
    Posted by Jesus on October 5, 2008 at 11:11 AM · Report this
    2
    The recipes SUCK. why use the dank, for Schwagggy food??
    Posted by em on October 5, 2008 at 5:08 PM · Report this
    3
    Haha, oh Dan, I love you.
    Posted by Genevieve on November 11, 2008 at 7:23 PM · Report this
    4
    Aw, I'm sorry, I found this article looking through Dan's archives, I love all three you guys!
    Posted by Genevieve on November 11, 2008 at 7:39 PM · Report this
    5
    sweet!!!
    Posted by lil V on November 25, 2008 at 1:35 PM · Report this
    6
    "Don't eat uncooked pot; it won't get you high."
    This isn't true, and I know from experience. Maybe eating a little bit won't do anything noticeable, but yes, it will get you high if you eat it. I had to eat a quarter oz on a train once, and when it kicked in, it was comparable to 'shrooms. I was still high the next day.
    Posted by Andy on January 7, 2009 at 11:59 AM · Report this
    7
    I have a paper shopping bag full of clippings.(still wet. I'll call it veggies) So I went and made some ghetto pot butter.
    I have a double boiler. so I added the water. And filled the top with as much veggies as I could cram in there. Steamed the crap out of it. Then removed the veggies into a separate bowl to cool. I filled the D-boiler with more veggies and repeated the steps until the veggies were gone.
    Once I had 2-3 batches in the bowl I squeezed all of the liquid out of it into yet another bowl.
    Once done with that. I removed the inner part of the D-boiler and added all the liquid that I had squeezed out back into the bottom part of the D-boiler. And added 2 cubes of butter on a med heat until butter was melted. Cover and place into the fridge to harden. all you need to do now is scrape the butter off of the water and place into a butter tub. Great on everything that you would use reg butter on.
    Posted by Trip P on January 27, 2009 at 5:55 PM · Report this
    8
    I just ate a pot butter brownie, mmmm.
    Posted by potbrownieguy420 on February 5, 2009 at 3:50 PM · Report this
    9
    using butterand water is not the most efficent way of extracting thc from pot. doing it this way only extracts about 40% of the thc. find a butter flavored vegetable oil(better flavor than regular oil)and using a noodle pot you are basically deep frying the weed at a med. temperature. cook until the pot is crispy. remember the more weed you cook the stronger the oil. i just finished using this method and it far surpasses the potency of the butter. you end up extracting nearly all thc content. ENJOY!!
    Posted by humphrey666 on June 27, 2009 at 1:29 PM · Report this
    10
    I used about 3 oz of ground sweetleaf with 250 grams of butter and a pan of water. I simmered it for about 90 minutes, then strained it through a couple layers of silk habutai. There was some fine plant material in the cooled butter, so I warmed it up and poured it through four layers of wet silk habutai. I sampled 2 teasponns, waited about an hour and didn't feel anything, so I had three more small teaspoons and about 2 hours later I was totally baked. An hour or so after that I was way too messed up. I fainted! I would have liked to just sleep it off but my dog insisted we go out again and I fainted on the sidewalk, in the vestibule of the building, and on the elevator. I had to remind myself that it was impossible to OD on pot but I felt like I was gonna die. The stonedness lasted well into the next day and evening, felt like I took about 10 xanax.
    Posted by schmoopsy on December 16, 2009 at 1:23 PM · Report this
    11
    I use the Double Boiler myself, works like a charm, I usually boil for about 6-7 hours and strain it into my butter molds.
    Just half a tab of butter is all you need for a very nice high for about 8 hours. I mix mine in oatmeal, Malt-O-Meal, or even spread it on some cinnamon raisin toast with powder sugar sprinkled on top. The Pot taste is very minimal and adds a nice flavor to a normally boring bowl of oatmeal ^-^
    Posted by Em-dash on June 17, 2010 at 11:35 AM · Report this
    12
    I'm so confused! Every site I visit has 3-4 different methods for incorporating THC into butter or oil, and the cooking times vary from 20 min to 12 hours; some say sauteeing is a waste of weed, others that it's 60% stronger than butter, or butter and water. Where can I find anything like consensus?? It seems like this should be relatively straightforward!
    Posted by Purple Schmaze on August 18, 2010 at 9:53 PM · Report this
    13
    I've only tried the double boiler method and am extremly satisfied, however I will try the saute method. I use 1/4 oz to 1 stick of unsalted butter.
    Posted by Ken Holliday on November 8, 2010 at 1:21 PM · Report this
    TheLando 14
    #12- You have to use a double boiler. THC boils off at temperatures greater than 100C, which means if you saute it, all that nice THC is getting vaporized out of the pan. Put a small pot in a bigger pot. Put water in the bigger pot. Put butter in the smaller one. Add buds, sticks, leaves, whatever. Fire that shit up. You can cook it as long as you want ... boiling water cannot get hotter than 100 degrees, so your THC is safe and swimming around.

    If you cook it long enough, the milk solids (proteins) will fall out of the melter butter, forming white chunks. Do not be alarmed; what you're really making is weed ghee, or clarified butter, and it will do no harm, only good.
    Posted by TheLando on November 11, 2010 at 7:06 AM · Report this
    15
    #14 - You are a moron. Boiling water cannot get hotter than 100C? You're not a science major, I take it. What do you think is going to happen to the water when it reaches 100C and the heat is still on? Is the whole pot of water going to instantly flash into gas form (steam)? Or do water molecules have a magical property that allows them to change heat energy into some new, yet undiscovered, form of energy? Come on man, think!

    THC boils off at > 100C? Where do these rumors get started? Stop spreading BS.
    Posted by LetterX on November 19, 2010 at 5:15 PM · Report this
    16
    I was laughing so hard about schmoopsy that I forgot the water was boiling. This will be our first try at making butter for our cookies. I will post again to let everyone know how it went.
    Posted by mtnride on December 20, 2010 at 3:48 PM · Report this
    17
    I am going to make my first butter soon I think
    I am confused by the statements about THC Vaporizing if it over heated. Why then can I cook Pot Butter @ 350 for 30/40 minutes in a recipe and still get the medication reliefe I seek? I do not want to destroy my recently aquired Beautiful Buds.
    ICosmo
    Posted by I Cosmo on December 30, 2010 at 10:56 AM · Report this
    18
    I am going to attept my own pot butter soon I hope .I needed to know why some are stating that my THC will go up in smoke if heated at too at high a temperature. Why the does THC not disapate in recipes that call for cooking at 350* or higher. I do not want to ruin my spectacular new Buds . Also where can I get the best overall deal on Bud I have been to only one
    Dispensery.
    Any help on this. Also if you know a better way of cooking this please let me know.
    Thank you so much.
    Icosmo
    Posted by I Cosmo on December 30, 2010 at 11:13 AM · Report this
    19
    #15 Letter X, you silly idiot. Water has this "magical" property of turning to steam over 212f/ 100C, which means that it is either always under 212F, or it is steam. Thus, as long as there is water in the double boiler, the contents in the top pan cannot exceed the max temperature of the 212f water heating it. Pretty easy to understand, I take it you're not an anything major?:)
    Posted by YouSillyBitch on February 19, 2011 at 10:43 PM · Report this
    20
    LMAO water turns to...steam? Seriously is that all that gray stuff billowing out of the pot (no pun intended) when I boil water?? Ohhhh maybe THATS why when I leave a pot of water on for too long and I come back the water has "magically disappeared"!
    Posted by TryinToThinkButNothinsHappenin on April 1, 2011 at 7:29 AM · Report this
    21
    I know it sounds weird, but here's what is confirmed to work:

    1. Get small ceramic baking dish. The kind they use for making small loaves of bread, 2.5" x 4" was the dimensions of mine.

    2. Get skillet that has a VERY flat surface and place it on the stove. Put the burner on a very low setting. Melt about 2 tablespoons of butter in it.

    3. Grind your weed up in a plug-in coffee grinder after knocking out all seeds and large stems. Grind it for about 45 seconds, shaking the grinder with your hand over the top. This will make the weed POWDER.

    4. Put about about one teaspoon of powderweed in the butter. Stir.

    5. Let the weed soak in the butter for a solid 30 minutes. The butter will soak in the weed. Stir occasionally.

    6. Put on whatever you want and have fun.

    This is a single-dose option, for a regular smoker. Powder up an eighth for one stick of butter and you have a saveable option for the fridge, however you want to stir it as it cools as well, so that everything stays mixed.

    The butter is going to taste like weed no matter what you do. Turning it into powder before the butter will guarantee you a "pharma-like" quality.

    It is usually the texture of weed in your mouth that makes most folks object to leaving the weed in, but powdered, it's no different than any spice on the rack. In fact, Mrs. Dash Table blend covers it right the hell up.

    Have Phun
    Posted by hamb0ne on July 20, 2011 at 11:16 AM · Report this
    22
    I want to thank you who reminded me you can't OD from pot. I'm absolutely tweaking since about 3 am last night and I'm online seeing what to do, guess I should just fucking chill.

    We made on stick of butter with about 5 grams of bubble berry.

    First time, must of worked.

    Smoked a joint, thought it was my cig. Glad I'm home alone til friday.

    Feel like a stranger.
    Posted by Big Taters on October 27, 2011 at 8:32 AM · Report this
    23
    Great! Your among friends Number 22. No worries - wake up in the morning and it's allll right.
    So for enthusiasts! Which is better? Oil or Butter?
    Posted by MelissaE on November 7, 2012 at 5:20 PM · Report this
    24
    Thank you. My mom is fighting cancer. I'm going to make some cookies for Thanksgiving. I hope to ease some pain. Thanks for all that you do.
    Posted by scram on November 22, 2012 at 8:32 AM · Report this
    25
    Thank you. My mom is fighting cancer. I'm going to make some cookies for thanksgiving. I hope to ease some pain. Thanks.
    Posted by scram on November 22, 2012 at 8:34 AM · Report this
    26
    OK here is the skinny on the temp. Thing right from 420. Com......

    Very important information about cooking temperatures and conversion amounts

    I created these lists to help when choosing amounts and temperatures for cannabis cooking and titration

    This guide helps show what happens at certain temperatures so that you do not cook off any THC or fail to infuse

    Degrees Fahrenheit/Celsius Use Science in short

    220 F /105 C Potency Preparation Decarboxylation occurs to its greatest potential

    325-350 F / 160-175 C Cooking Bonds THC to fatty molecules

    350-390 F / 175-200 Vaporizing and smoking THC boils/vaporizes from the plant material and becomes airborne...

    Your welcome!
    Posted by remington_41186@yahoo.com on March 20, 2013 at 1:57 PM · Report this
    27
    Wow, there are some dumb comments on here. OK so everyone and their mother have their preferred method and dismisses other's ideas... without proof.
    Here's my preferred method, I find that butter's messy to deal with so I use oil and a rice cooker. put your greens in, add oil just enough to cover it, set it to boil, once it reaches that temp it stops and keeps things warm, I leave it in for 12 hours at a time. gives me some powerful stuff man.
    Posted by hugocabret on March 20, 2013 at 10:19 PM · Report this
    28
    You only dont want to over heat as you could burn during the weed butter making process. The longer you cook it the more THC you will release from the buds that your going to discard at the end.
    Posted by budsRus on June 22, 2014 at 1:25 PM · Report this

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