From the Jun 8 – Jun 14, 2000 issue

Columns

I HACKED YOUR E-MAIL

I am your worst enemy. I'm a hacker and I'm in love with your girlfriend. She's been faithful to you during your five-year relationship, which I originally had every intention of respecting. Well, after accidentally noticing your affection toward another woman, I recently found my way into one of your e-mail accounts and found love letters to and from you--from more women than I could keep track of. I have one letter from a particular woman whom you fucked, and I'm sure it would convince your beautiful girlfriend that it is you who do not deserve her, rather than the other way around.

I've yet to present these letters to her, since I am a little afraid that she will be mad at me for breaking into your poorly secured account. However, I'm sure that she will be so grateful to me for revealing the truth that she may finally give me the chance to prove my love to her. Until then, I'll try to figure out how you convinced her that if she so much as even looks at another man, it is the greatest sin imaginable. I have never so much as touched her, but don't worry. When she leaves you, I'll give her everything she's ever wanted--including fidelity.

--Anonymous

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