Maybe it sounded funny at the Regrets Issue editorial meeting, but once it was assigned and I started writing, I realized what a thoroughly regrettable idea "I Regret Sassing Off to My Intoxicated Husband, then Walking into That Door, by Marlaina Kiner-McIver" was. First, it's factually inaccurate: "Walking into a door" is the classic excuse for signs of physical abuse, and while investigators determined a physical assault had occurred at the home of Seattle City Council Member Richard McIver—where officers were dispatched after a 911 call about a domestic disturbance at the Southeast Seattle home—they found no visible injuries on anyone. (Kiner-McIver told officers that her husband had grabbed her by the throat and arm repeatedly before going on a "profane tirade," while McIver admitted he'd been drinking but denied making any physical contact during the argument.) So then I thought about changing the title of the item I was going to write to "I Regret Saying Whatever It Was that Made My Intoxicated Husband Repeatedly Grab Me by the Throat, by Marlaina Kiner-McIver," but this made the whole awesome rottenness of the concept unbearably apparent. Women have enough deterrents to reporting domestic abuse—is a crappy joke good enough reason to create another? Then I thought, maybe I could just have Kiner-McIver regret calling 911, since police are required by state law to arrest "the primary aggressor" in any domestic-violence situation. Then I thought: No, just let it die, for God's sake.