I Regret Republicans Giving Me a Bad Name

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I know what you're thinking: "This is pretty tasteless, rape, even for you." But maybe you should shut your yap for a minute, because even I, rape, can have regrets. And this year, my biggest regret is Republicans.

For years, I laughed off Republican efforts to rope me into partisan politics—but in 2012, that became impossible. Suddenly and without my consent, Republicans were giving me a makeover: They "legitimized" me, elevated me to an act that "God intended to happen," equated me to both "normal relations in a marriage" and "a gift" that women should "just relax and enjoy." Republicans even had the audacity to call me a bad case of "buyer's remorse"!

Way to give me a fucking identity crisis, a-holes.

Just to refresh your memory, Republicans, I am nonconsensual sex. Nonconsensual sex is me. That's it. I'm not your little girl willfully getting pregnant out of wedlock, I'm not God's jokey way of getting women laid, and I'm never, ever legitimate. That's just not how I roll. And if you continue to argue with me on this, guys, I will do what I should've done years ago and rape your motherfucking mouths shut. recommended


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Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Dear Rape,

Republicans have been about controlling other people's sex lives for a long time now; you are a part of too many people's sex lives...

In short, you were asking for it.

Posted by Why Don't You Just Stop Having Nonconsensual Sex Already? on January 2, 2013 at 11:13 AM · Report this
Republicans can all GET raped hard up the ass and because they've basically alienated themselves from the vast majority of their intended
rape victims---WOMEN---they can now face mass extinction.

Suck it and choke on it, Akin, ad nauseum.
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 2, 2013 at 10:10 PM · Report this
This is why I stopped identifying myself as a liberal. You are taking the words of one man and generalizing a whole group of people. Every time I read any articles by liberals anymore, I do just a bit of research and find how badly it's been distorted..

Todd Akin is a far right wing absolute lunatic nutjob that said this and not every single Republican that you would like it to sound.

Please stop spewing your nonsense.

You are intentionally trying to make it sound like every single Republican said this and not that of one man so every uninformed reader will jump up and down and want to burn Republicans at the stake. Divide and conquer works well and you obviously know this.

The Republican party admonished and condemned Todd Akin for his statements and publicly asked him to drop out of the race. If you don't already, you should really look into working for the Huffington Post or Fox News because you're really good at distorting.

Posted by Talk about generalizing on January 3, 2013 at 8:35 PM · Report this
@3: I don't rely on Fox TV for my news resources.
If the Huffington Post is anything like Fox, it's
even MORE ridiculously distorted than any opinion
I've ever expressed!
The Republican Party, by stupidly joining forces with
right wing nutjobs like Todd Akin, has shot itself in
the foot, and I don't feel the least bit sorry for the GOP.

Have you been raped before, @3? Well, I have.
Please stop spewing YOUR nonsense, go back to your
cave, and stay there.
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 3, 2013 at 9:40 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 5
@3 Great, you've explained away Todd Akin. Now get to work explaining away the hundreds of other things conservatives have said, and all the legislation they've passed, that points to their rampant sexism, chauvinism & misogyny. That includes explaining the vote of each individual legislator, senator, on both the national & state level. Heck, just working on Kansas would take you a decade.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 3, 2013 at 10:27 PM · Report this

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