I Regret That Señor Romney Lost the Election

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You sons of bitches, I work hard every day. I work hard polishing cars in Señor Romney's garage, sweeping floor, rotating tires. I rotate the tires of every car in the garage every day, on Señor Romney's orders. And what I wanna know is: Why you wanna make more work for Ricardo Ortiz by voting for Barack Obama? I was looking at four, maybe eight, years where Señor Romney was gonna be El Presidente out in Washington, DC, coming back to La Jolla one, maybe two, times a year. There was gonna be peace and quiet for me.

Now, Señor Romney is here all the time, and he needs all his cars all the time. "Ramon," he says. "It's such a gorgeous day, I think I'll take the Benz out to Boston Market for lunch." Down comes the Benz, up goes the Ferrari. Then he comes back, and he says to me, "Garcia, could you bring down the minivan? Ann says it's time for a Costco run." Up goes the Benz, down comes the Toyota Sienna. And sometimes, Señor Romney, he just sits in the backseat of the Buick and says, "Give me a ride on the elevator, Julio. One more time." And up and down, up and down, up and down we go, and Señor Romney, he just sits there in the backseat and he just sobs and sobs until he falls asleep. You sons of bitches. recommended


Comments (19) RSS

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Well Ricardo, it was either you work for the presidential loser in La Jolla or have your job outsourced to China if he were the winner.
Posted by FilmNoirFan on January 2, 2013 at 10:09 AM · Report this
@1 Uh, yeah, because people over in China can totally provide ass-wiping services to rich people physically in America. Unless Romney was going to live in China as president?
Posted by sahara29 on January 2, 2013 at 12:28 PM · Report this
What are you complaining about? At least you have a JOB!
Posted by RapaNui on January 2, 2013 at 12:55 PM · Report this

Oh, and by the way: HAHAHAHAHA fucking HA!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 2, 2013 at 1:50 PM · Report this
It still amazes me how Willard Mitt Romney, whose son Tagg talked his father into even running, blew $500 million on lies, fear-mongering and
smear tactics, was SO sure he'd win by a landslide he spent an additional $25,000 on a gloating fireworks display in Boston Harbor---and lost.
Sickening to think what that $500 million COULD have gone to instead.

Anyway, I have no regrets that President Obama got re-elected. I voted for Obama, not against Romney.
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 3, 2013 at 12:56 AM · Report this
@ Auntie Grizelda

"blew $500 million on lies, fear-mongering and smear tactics"

Ok I'm a libertarian so I don't side with either of you guy but I literally started laughing at your comment. Are you beyond fucking kidding me? Romney could not so much as fart in a room without the media turning it into "a horrific biological attack of unheralded proportions that was obviously aimed at the poor and middle class since he didn't turn and feels the poor and middle class are behind him." Then every station would run with it then go ahead and show Obama coddling a basket of puppies and children with cancer. Of course, two hours later they would up the ante and decide for everyone that it a racist attack because in fact, he slightly turned his fucking ass towards a black person...Jesus, shut up with your bullshit.

The smear campaign the Democrats did was just as absurd as the Republicans so don't point the finger when you're just as guilty. Why do liberals think they are innocent of everything when they literally do the exact same thing the conservatives and republicans do?

I'm so glad this campaign is over so I don't have to hear any ads from either sides just lying up a storm.

Seriously, shut up and go read your Huffington Post and watch some more MSNBC so you can become an expert on another topic you know nothing about.
Posted by Oh you slanting liberals... on January 4, 2013 at 10:37 AM · Report this
@6 Ahem. Again, with feeling: go back to your abysmally ignorant cave and stay there. By branding me a "liberal", and then angrily launching into another ridiculously long-winded diatribe about the bullshit between Republicans and Democrats only defeats your argument by your name-calling tactics alone. This strongly indicates that you are only trolling out of sheer boredom, and /or pissed off that Mitt Romeny wasn't made King of America.

Vote for whoever you vote for. I'm grateful that the election is long over, too. Unlike you, I don't have a TV so I was at least spared all the god-awful mud-slinging ads.

By the way, I don't consider myself a liberal.
Democrats usually are in favor of supporting programs that benefit ALL citizens of the United States, whereas the vast majority of Republicans are obsessed with profits at any cost, so long as they retain all the money and power.
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 4, 2013 at 3:33 PM · Report this
Wow, just when I though The Stranger could not go any lower.

"The Stranger...Seattle's only dumpster diving zine"
Posted by liberty4all on January 4, 2013 at 3:40 PM · Report this
@8 Spoken like a terminally bored, poorly educated little troll....
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 4, 2013 at 3:47 PM · Report this
I bet you are a childless, unmarried, living in a cat-urine infested studio apartment, over-the-hill hag. You stick to your useless tantric rants to get over your long celibate bouts. You probably work in some pathetic lowly office position that affords you ample internet-play time and you spend your day shuffling papers of little consequence while you grasp chocolate bon bons with your pudgy, clumsy, little fingers. You are not the stereotypical liberal, but their archetype. Go and do the world a favor, post-birth abort yourself.
Posted by liberty4all on January 4, 2013 at 4:11 PM · Report this
Well, Geraldo, actually, it would have gone something like this: "Well, Jorge, I'm gonna be living in DC for the next four years, and won't be needing you. I'm laying you off, and you can't even get unemployment, because you have been working under the table as an undocumented worker...that's the breaks, pal! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"
Posted by cattycat on January 4, 2013 at 6:18 PM · Report this
@10: LOL!!! You're THAT pissed off that Romney lost, huh?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh--I get it. You're a FOURTEEN year old
pathetically uneducated troll who CAN'T drive, CAN'T vote
(oh, DARN!), CAN'T drink, and still CAN'T smoke marijuana,
however recently legalized. So, ohhhh, SHIT----you CAN'T
even get off on COCAINE and MALT LIQUOR under Arthur
Zifferelli's constant recommendations, either! Boo fucking hoo.

Furthermore, you may not be a stereotypical Republican pig,
but your continued nonsensical garbage makes you equally if
not even more stupid than the average blind-faith GOP sheeple follower. You don't even KNOW me. Your guess isn't even remotely close. Post-birth abort myself. And how, exactly, do I do THAT,
Dr. Demento? Mitt Romney and his lackeys brainwashed you pretty damed well, didn't they?

Take a few deep breaths......breath deeply..... exhale.
Repeat several times until healthy fresh oxygen finally
reaches your small brain. For you, this will be a difficult feat.
Obviously you live in a rat-infested sewer and the highlight of
your day is when someone's toilet flushes from above.
Maybe you should consider post-caveman educating yourself.

Posted by auntie grizelda on January 5, 2013 at 12:53 AM · Report this
@10: Okay. I stand corrected.
You're a terminally bored, poorly educated little troll who isn't getting any.
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 5, 2013 at 12:57 AM · Report this
Sad, sad, sad...It seems by your early morning incoherent rants that no one seemed to have the beer googles for you last night. Your repeated hackneyed responses to anyone who has a different opinion are pathetically predicatable and indicative of your limited wit and creativity. Your limited intelligence views everyting in a simple dichotomy, probably based on your interaction with the opposite sex; men either find you fugly and run away or men ignore you and equally run away.

Seattle let's give a hand to auntie g., she'e really tries with the little she has!!! (clap, clap, clap)
Posted by liberty4all on January 5, 2013 at 7:23 AM · Report this
@14: A shamefully braindead pre-adolescent whose only activities are trolling when his hands get tired is what's sad, sad, sad. How many years before you can finally get a driver's license and a life? Maybe you should change your post name to puberty4gotten. By the way, idiots like you and the misogynist fools who groom you are the primary reason why the majority of Republican men can't get laid.

Seattle and Stranger readers, let's all raise a middle finger to liberty4all, because the height of his dismal failure of a life will be GETTING the clap.

Posted by auntie grizelda on January 5, 2013 at 1:16 PM · Report this
Would you mind repeating yourself, I do not speak babble and please can you take a shower, your frustion is causing a most unpleasant odor.

What's next the ol' "No You" routine. How droll you really are.
Posted by liberty4all on January 6, 2013 at 2:15 PM · Report this
@16: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 6, 2013 at 5:08 PM · Report this
Ahhh. peaceful silence. Maybe the troll @8, @10, @14 & @16 finally went back to his cave, showered, and at least learned how to spell.
He could always hop a Greyhound to La Jolla to help Romney's boy,
Ricardo, pump cheap gas.
My regards to Geraldo.
Posted by auntie grizelda on January 7, 2013 at 10:08 PM · Report this
Posted by Snarky on January 8, 2013 at 8:31 PM · Report this

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