From the Aug 10 – Aug 16, 2000 issue

Columns

I ROB BANKS

I am one of many bank robbers. I know the cops have a lot of theories about why I do it, but the real reason is that it is so damn expensive to live around here. I am responsible for some people and don't want to live on the street. I never actually carry a weapon--only a note and some loose-fitting clothes. But I also know what dye packs and tracers look like, so don't try to hand them to me. Usually, I smile at the teller to let her know she will be okay. I always give away any money I can to people who are down and out, like a guy who lives on disability but still has to pay child support, people in food bank lines, some single moms with kids, and things like that. If I am ever caught (which would have to be by some freak circumstance), I can handle the time because I don't carry a gun. In the meantime though, I have people to take care of. So tellers, please understand, and thank you for your cooperation.

--Anonymous