"I'm a Patsy!"
World Exclusive! Shocking photos reveal the true identity of Mayor Schell's attacker!
Tools
hile James C. Garrett rots in prison, the REAL CULPRITS in last weekend's vicious assault on Mayor Paul Schell remain at large!
Garrett, who also goes by the name Oswald Tabouli-Garrett, was arrested on suspicion of assaulting Mayor Schell with a megaphone at a unity rally in the Central District on the afternoon of Saturday, July 7. But Garrett insists he didn't have a megaphone in his hand when he approached the mayor. "I did not hit the mayor," Garrett told reporters this weekend.
Stranger Personals
Dozens of bystanders watched as Garrett, himself a candidate for mayor, hit Seattle's current mayor with a megaphone, breaking bones above and below Mayor Schell's right eye. Among the witnesses were Mayor Schell's wife, his aides, several police officers... even some of Garrett's friends and allies witnessed the attack. But in an explosive jailhouse interview, Garrett claimed that all of the witnesses were lying--and not only are these so-called eyewitnesses lying, Garrett revealed, but these so-called "eyewitnesses" are all active participants in a far-reaching conspiracy to discredit Garrett in the eyes of Seattle voters!
"This whole thing is politics," Garrett told reporters. "The police are not telling the whole truth about what happened. Racism is alive and well in Seattle." And the claims of eyewitnesses to the assault? "Have you heard of a lie before?"
Garrett admits he was using a megaphone in the moments before the assault took place. Before he approached the mayor, however, Garrett insists he handed his megaphone to a mysterious "someone." According to Garrett, this "someone" may or may not have been with the Mob, the CIA, the Cuban government, the Catholic Church, and/or the British Monarchy. Garrett doesn't know the identity of this mysterious "someone"--a.k.a. John Doe #1--which is frustrating Garrett's efforts to prove his innocence.
Asked to prove that he had nothing to do with the assault on Mayor Schell, Garrett revealed that he had photographs of the assault--photos that PROVE he's an innocent man! The Stranger is proud to share these photos with our readers in a WORLD exclusive!
Photograph #2--the undoctored and unretouched original photograph!--shows what really went down at the corner of 23rd and East Union last Saturday afternoon. This photo proves that the Pope, the Queen of England, Courtney Love, Fidel Castro, and Lyndon Baines Johnson were all present at the unity rally, and THEY WERE ALL HOLDING MEGAPHONES! No one from the mayor's office or the police department would comment on this photograph or the presence of black United Nations helicopters at a "unity" rally, nor was anyone with the city able to explain the sudden appearance of the Texas School Book Depository in the Central District last Saturday.
The REAL CULPRITS in the assault on Mayor Schell REMAIN AT LARGE! Anyone with information about mysterious persons carrying megaphones in the Central District this weekend is urged to step forward! And if you or anyone you know has any information concerning the current whereabouts of the Pope, the Queen of England (who sometimes uses the alias "Elizabeth Windsor"), Fidel Castro, Lyndon Baines Johnson, Marilyn Monroe, Courtney Love, or the Texas School Book Depository, please contact the Free Obelisk Tahini-Garrett Task Force at 206-623-0500.
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