We have all been disgusted with the fucking gross frottage freak that goes to Sleater-Kinney concerts and rubs his sick dick against the rumps of girls (see In Other News, July 18). Last Friday night at the Oops! Tour, featuring the Locust, the Blood Brothers, Lightning Bolt, the Get Hustle, and Arab on Radar at Graceland, that pig of a "man" rubbed his foul wang on several gals before he was finally kicked out by security. Those who've been assaulted by the guy describe him as Asian, 41 years old, wearing a green canvas jacket, and being a sawed-off little shit of a man (around five feet tall). So be on the lookout for the sick fuck. He's done it to me twice at different shows, and he did it to a co-worker and several other women on Friday. YUCK.
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On to nicer subjects: My pal Kevin Willis and I went to see Cher at the KeyArena last week, and I was so excited I almost peed myself--because only 12 rows away from us was THE WOMAN. She descended from the ceiling in a chandelier, dressed in a black-velvet-and-rhinestone cape. When the cape came off, it was rhinestone pants and a bustier, all lined with sheer, flesh-colored fabric so she was all but nude, except covered in rhinestones. Then she came out dressed as a ringleader, complete with top hat and naughty whip, announced that the "Cherish Show on Earth" was about to begin, and then challenged J.Lo and Britney Spears to "follow this, you bitches!"
It's hard to say which part of the performance was my favorite. I hooted like mad when she walked out of the ass crack of a life-size (but fake) elephant and sang the whole time like it was no big thing; I got pretty choked up when they played a video montage of Sonny and Cher singing "I Got You Babe"; and her massive feather Mohawk was kick-ass when she sang "Bang Bang." But I think my favorite part was seeing the medley of "Half-Breed," "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves," and "Dark Lady" as Cher, dressed in hipster jeans, tan turtleneck, and fur vest, shared a split video screen with footage of her singing those songs as they were performed on The Sonny and Cher Show way back in the day.
Cindy Lauper opened the show, and is still cute as a button and full of all kinds of energy. She sang "True Colors" wrapped in a Pride flag and brought down the house during the encore as she sat, dulcimer in lap, and performed a moving version of "Time After Time."
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After that we skipped over to the Mars Bar to say a heartfelt farewell to popular tattoo artist Marty Williams. Williams, who worked at Chrome Ohm, has placed tattoos on nearly everyone who is anyone in the Capitol Hill area, including two very meaningful ones for me: the one around my right wrist, which reminds me that I've left a rotten part of my life behind, and a gorgeous gardenia on my back, which was his birthday present to me. He moved back to his hometown of Albuquerque on Tuesday, August 6, and many of us will miss him dearly.
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I made it to Pho Bang, for the first time since it left Foxes, to see New Luck Toy. Something at the Re-bar sets off my allergies, so I won't be going back. Also, the swinging bathroom doors are heavy and quick on the return, so my pal Kim nearly broke my nose. She also slammed my hand in the car door the next night after the New Mexicans show at Chop Suey, where I dropped my dang wallet in the (clean) toilet. Sorry about all that wet money in the tip jar.
