***
Sure, everyone's drinking his or her weight in Jägermeister these days, popping pills, and having "terror sex," then quietly walking home in shame the next morning. But believe me when I tell you that no one is misbehaving publicly 'round these parts--purely out of respect, I assume. That's all well and good, but people... It's My Party is on the verge of going out of business. C'mon, even Mayor Giuliani said it was okay: Last weekend, surrounded by members of New York's finest on Saturday Night Live, Giuliani told the TV-addled public that it's okay to be funny again. During two performances on late-night talk shows last week, Jack Black of Tenacious D acted up, first smashing his guitar, then stripping out of his FDNY T-shirt before proceeding to flail around hilariously in all his jelly-belly glory. The next night he swore profusely (bleep!) while calling for Ronnie James Dio's professional demise. Please, let Black serve as a bellwether, signaling to all you kee-razy rockstars that it's okay to be koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs again.
Take last Sunday's Rock Solid: NW Red Cross Relief benefit at the Crocodile. It was an all-star event with performances by the Posies, the Minus Five, Shawn Smith, No. 13 Baby, DJ Suspence and KO, and DJ Cherry Canoe. An astounding $6,000 was raised. Smith brought the room to its figurative knees with his heartfelt rendition of "Purple Rain." Alas, no bad behavior can be reported. Now, plenty of rock-star types were in the house, including Scott McCaughey, Kurt Bloch, Ken Stringfellow, Jon Auer, Sean Nelson, and Mark Arm. Peter Buck was there, so was Jason Finn... all in all, plenty of characters who have been known to raise hell while in their cups were in attendance, and nary a shenanigan occurred.
For shame! The Crocodile has hosted much funny/bad rock-star behavior in the past: Where, oh where, is Gerald Collier standing up on a barstool with his pants around his ankles? Where is Everett True vomiting in every room and then obliviously calling club booker Christine the next day to request that his name be put on the guest list? Where is the messy blowjob in the bathroom? Honestly, if I have to sit back and watch all the rest of you get loaded, snorting vodka up your nose like the Turks (I told you not to do it, Nathan), please give me a little something in return. Live it up while you can... soon you, just like Malcolm from Arab Strap, could be canceling your tour due to ye olde pancreatitis. Believe me, no hilarity is to ensue after that.
