MONDAY, OCTOBER 29 This week of humongous hurricanes that get downgraded to tropical storms and still cause unimaginable devastation kicks off with Sandy, the humongous hurricane that got downgraded to a tropical storm and still caused unimaginable devastation along the Northeastern coast of the United States. Upon crashing ashore this evening near Atlantic City, Tropical Superstorm Sandy caused epic flooding, extensive power outages, and more than 100 deaths. Hardest hit: New Jersey, where the storm washed away rail lines, caused the failure of the Hackensack River levee, and left several towns underwater. Also clobbered: New York City, where a tidal surge flooded the subway, swamped big stretches of lower Manhattan, and ruined tons of irreplaceable things, from art to evidence to scientific research. Hundreds of thousands of citizens plunged into electricity-free darkness tonight in New York and New Jersey will remain there into next week. Stay tuned.
•• Meanwhile in Seattle, today brought the arrest of a suspect in last week's stabbing in Belltown: Hever Zuniga-Guzman, a 22-year-old from Honduras who now stands charged with the second-degree murder of Faustino Cervantes, the 21-year-old who was fatally stabbed in the chest after leaving a Belltown nightclub. Zuniga-Guzman remains held on both a murder charge and an immigration detainer.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 30 The week continues in Kashmir, where today a 15-year-old girl died after her parents allegedly doused her with acid for bringing dishonor upon the family. Details come from the BBC, which reports the alleged acid attack occurred yesterday, when the girl's father "became enraged when he saw his daughter looking at two boys riding on a motorcycle outside their home." As local police officer Raja Tahir Ayub told the BBC, "He took his daughter inside, beat her up, and then poured acid over her with the help of his wife." The next morning, the parents finally took their daughter to the hospital, where she was found to have burns over 35 percent of her body and soon died. Charged with murder, the parents will stand by their actions. "She said, 'I didn't do it on purpose. I won't look again,'" mother Zaheen Zafar will tell the BBC. "By then, I had already thrown the acid. It was her destiny to die this way."
•• Speaking of fatally bad family situations, tonight at a wedding in Saudi Arabia, guests celebrated the new union by firing guns into the air. The shots struck an electrical pole, the pole collapsed, and the resulting electrical fire killed 23 people and injured more than two dozen others, reports CNN.
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31 Speaking of crappy things, the week continues in Seattle, where today the priestly principal of the all-male-and-Catholic O'Dea High School resigned amid allegations of sexual abuse. "Officials from the Archdiocese of Seattle announced that Brother Karl Walczak had resigned his post as principal of O'Dea High School after accusations of sexual abuse came to light," reports KOMO. "The allegations date back to the 1970s, when Walczak was a teacher at Brother Rice High School in Chicago. Members of SNAP, the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, are outraged that parents weren't notified of the allegations sooner." Despite denying the allegations, Walczak resigned immediately, ceding O'Dea principal duties to vice principal Jim Walker.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 1 Nothing happened today, unless you count the morning after Halloween, aka the most hilarious walk of shame parade of the year.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2 Speaking of shame, the week continues in Florida, which cemented its reputation as America's grossest state with today's story out of the town of Bartow, where two employees at a Verizon Wireless store stand accused of a bunch of felonies after allegedly copying nude photos found on a customer's discarded cell phone and sharing them with the public. Details come from the New York Daily News, which reports the drama began on September 14 when "a female customer went to the Verizon Wireless store to get her damaged cell phone replaced. According to a police report, [24-year-old Joshua] Stuart helped the unidentified customer—a waitress at a nearby restaurant—transfer data to her new phone. After she left, Stuart allegedly kept her old phone, which still had her data on it." Among this data were nude photographs of the cell phone's former owner, which Stuart allegedly shared with a coworker, 26-year-old Gregory Lampert, and which both men happily shared with the public. "On October 18, a male customer went to the store to upgrade his phone," reports the Daily News. "According to police, Stuart helped the customer and also asked if he knew of any waitresses or bartenders in the area," after which both Stuart and Lampert showed the man naked photos of a woman he immediately recognized as a friend. The man told his friend what happened, the woman called the cops, and now both Stuart and Lampert face felony charges of dealing in stolen property, theft of computer data, and distributing lewd material.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3 After five days of the shittiest news, it is Last Days' great pleasure to devote today's item to an entirely happy occurrence: the wedding of Bret Fetzer and Tracy Leigh, which took place just after two o'clock this morning at Annex Theater. For those who don't know, Bret is the Seattle playwright, director, and all-around theater mainstay who once served as theater editor for this here rag. Tracy is the tall, gorgeous actress who was just nominated for a Gregory Award and who is clearly the perfect mate for our longtime friend Bret. Highlights of the wedding ceremony: singing children, an a cappella Robyn number, and the crazy rays of happiness shooting between our newlyweds as they made it official. Congratulations, Bret and Tracy!
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4 In much worse news, the week ends in Pittsburgh, where today a mother visited the zoo with her 2-year-old son, whom she placed on a railing to better see a pack of wild African dogs below. The child fell from the railing, the dogs attacked the child, and the child died. "It was not clear whether the boy died from the fall into the wild dog exhibit area or from the attack," said Barbara Baker, president and CEO of the Pittsburgh Zoo, to the Associated Press. "It was very horrific," added Lieutenant Kevin Kraus of the Pittsburgh police. The zoo remains closed.
Send hot tips to firstname.lastname@example.org.