MONDAY, NOVEMBER 11 This week of good news and bad news kicks off with a dog lover's nightmare in Connecticut, where today 56-year-old Anne Murray was hanging out with the 2-year-old pit bull she'd helped raise from puppyhood when the dog attacked her, tearing out one of her arms, ripping off one of her hands, and leaving her with bite marks all over her body. As the Connecticut Post reports, officers from the Wilton Police Department arrived to find the wounded Murray hiding under a vehicle in her driveway and the dog standing in the street. "The first arriving officer, Capt. John Lynch, determined that the dog was an immediate threat to the victim and others nearby, so he shot and killed the dog," reports the Post. "The pit bull's remains will be tested for rabies at a state laboratory." Condolences to Ms. Murray, who's listed in stable condition at Norwalk Hospital and who, despite the loss of her arm and hand, got off easier than the four other people—including a 25-year-old woman in North Carolina, a 5-year-old boy in Oregon, a toddler in California, and another toddler in Arizona—who were attacked by pit bulls over the past eight weeks and died.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 12 In stupider news, the week continues in Wilkesboro, North Carolina, where police are seeking a man who accidentally fired his gun while discussing the Second Amendment at a GNC vitamin and supplement store. Details come from Greensboro's WFMY-TV, which reports the unidentified man was discussing gun control with a GNC employee when he took out his gun and accidentally fired a round into the store's printer. "The employee told police the man said he 'could not go down for this' and fled the store," reports UPI. "Police are asking members of the public to come forward with any information about the incident."

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 13 In better news, today brings not one but two stories of hope-bestowing human progress. Story number one comes from Stanford University, where a new study by social psychologist Jon Krosnick has found that "a vast majority of red-state Americans believe climate change is real and at least two-thirds of those want the government to cut greenhouse gas emissions," the Guardian reports. "The research... confounds the conventional wisdom of climate denial as a central pillar of Republican politics, and practically an article of faith for Tea Party conservatives. Instead, the findings suggest far-reaching acceptance that climate change is indeed occurring and is caused by human activities, even in such reliably red states as Texas and Oklahoma." Story number two comes from Hawaii, where today Governor Neil Abercrombie signed into law a bill extending marriage rights to same-sex couples, making Hawaii the 15th US state to support marriage equality. Congratulations and thank you, Hawaii!

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 14 The week continues in the battered-by-insanity wilds of Toronto, where over the past couple hundred hours, Mayor Rob Ford has admitted to driving while intoxicated, buying illegal drugs, and smoking crack while in a drunken stupor. He also bragged about eating his wife's pussy at a press conference, and then apologized about using the phrase "eat pussy" at a follow-up press conference. Over the next couple hundred hours, Ford will proceed to knock over a city councilwoman while running through City Hall and leave her with a fat lip, profess to giving up alcohol after finding Jesus, vow to run for the seat of prime minister of Canada, and refuse to resign or relinquish any of his mayoral powers after doing all of the above. Early next week, the Toronto City Council will vote to strip Rob Ford of basically all mayoral powers except the ability to wear a sash that says "Mayor." Stay tuned.

•• In much sadder news, today Alex Calderwood—the beloved former Seattleite who cofounded the epochal Rudy's Barbershop and Ace Hotel chains—was found dead in a room of the newly opened Ace Hotel in London. Calderwood was 47, and the cause of his death remains unknown. "Alex was our teacher, mentor, guru, and most importantly our dear friend," reads the notice on the Ace Hotel website. "We will miss him."

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15 In much better news, the week continues in San Francisco, where today a wondrous number of citizens joined forces to help one sick kid and make a million other people weep at the kindness of strangers. At the center of the story: a 5-year-old boy named Miles, who's been battling acute lymphoblastic leukemia since he was 20 months old and was recently granted a wish by the Make-A-Wish Foundation. "He wanted to be Batman," said Patricia Wilson, the Make-A-Wish Foundation's Bay Area executive director, to the San Francisco Chronicle. To make Miles's dream a reality, Wilson put out a call for volunteers to help turn San Francisco into Gotham City, and was met with an avalanche of enthusiasm that soon went viral beyond anyone's expectations. Which brings us to today, when Batkid Miles fought crime in a San Francisco that brought the fucking ruckus, from police chief Greg Suhr issuing Commissioner Gordon–esque calls for Batkid's help to the thousands of fans who lined the streets to cheer him on. Thank you, San Francisco. We needed that.

•• Meanwhile in Michigan, today 54-year-old Theodore Paul Wafer was charged with second-degree murder and manslaughter in the shooting of Renisha McBride, the 19-year-old woman who appeared on his porch in the middle of the night (presumably seeking help after a car crash) and wound up fatally shot in the face. As Wayne County prosecutor Kym Worthy told reporters today, "We do not believe he acted in lawful self-defense." Currently being held on $250,000 bail, Wafer faces a maximum sentence of life in prison. Stay tuned.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16 Nothing happened today.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 17 The week ends with bad news in the Midwest, where today a "severe weather system" involving at least 67 tornadoes slammed Illinois, destroying scores of homes, wounding scores of people, and leaving at least six people dead.

Condolences to everyone, everywhere (but especially Illinois and the Philippines). Send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com.