MONDAY, AUGUST 11 This week of busted Republicans, eroticized lawn chairs, and the shocking use of militaristic police force against unarmed Americans protesting the use of militaristic police force kicks off in the San Francisco Bay Area, where today the comedian and Oscar-winning movie star Robin Williams was found fatally hanged in his home. The suicide of the beloved funnyman—who'd reportedly been battling deep depression—will dominate the cultural conversation for the next several days, with mourners expressing condolences and anti-suicide activists critiquing mourners' condolences. (See the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' Aladdin-referencing tweet, "Genie, you're free," to which a writer for the Independent responded, "To intimate, however subtly or unintentionally, that taking your own life is a liberating action, is irresponsible and dangerous.") So let us focus on the fatally depressed man's life of good deeds, which ranged from helping struggling celebrity friends to spending days with Make-A-Wish kids who loved him in Mrs. Doubtfire, and is summed up well in this KING 5 news report: "In 2004, Robin Williams performed stand-up at the Showbox nightclub in Seattle, and without telling anyone, donated all of the proceeds to the [West Seattle] food bank... He performed more shows in 2007 and 2008, raising nearly $50,000 for the organization, just as the economy was collapsing and need was skyrocketing. Never once did Williams ask for any recognition." As West Seattle Food Bank director Fran Yeatts told KING: "Robin Williams is the type of person who really understands there are a lot of people who are really, really struggling."
TUESDAY, AUGUST 12 Speaking of helping the hungry, the week continues in Texas, where earlier this month, a San Antonio sport fisherman caught an 809-pound tiger shark, which today provided sustenance for roughly 100 people at a Corpus Christi charity. "Ryan Spring, a deck installer from the Alamo City, caught the massive fish, which was 12 feet 7 inches in length, about five miles off the Texas coast... on August 3," reports the San Antonio Express News. "A friend of Spring's volunteers at Timon's Ministries, a day resource center for poor and homeless people, and set up the donation of about 75 pounds of shark meat... 'Our kitchen manager wasn't sure people would like it, but the chef did a great job and most people really enjoyed it," said Timon's Ministries executive director Kae Berry, adding that the shark meat was breaded and baked, and that the center still has enough for a shark stew to be served next week.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 13 The week continues with not one but two stories drawn from the wilds of human desire. Story #1 comes from Albuquerque, where this afternoon a woman was arrested after allegedly attempting to poison her roommates after they discovered her sexual relationship with two German shepherds. Details come from KOAT News, which identifies the alleged poisoner as 53-year-old Shari Walters. "Walters's criminal complaint says one of her roommates called the Bernalillo County Sheriff's Office approximately two weeks ago and reported she had been poisoned," reports KOAT. "The roommate says she previously caught Walters lying nude inside a shed on their property having sex with her dog, Spike... After the encounter, the complaint says, Walters admitted to having sex with both her roommates' dogs. Walters was dating a male roommate and, according to the complaint, he broke up with her after the encounter." The following night, the roommates sat down to a dinner doctored by Walters. "Both roommates noticed their food tasted different," reports KOAT. "The roommate then stated in the complaint that Walters... admitted to putting rubbing alcohol in both roommates' waters, as well as toilet bowl cleaner in their food, because the male roommate broke up with her." Walters has been charged with aggravated battery, cruelty or extreme cruelty to animals, and assault with intent to commit a violent felony.
>> Meanwhile in Seattle, the SPD Blotter today shared this story of autoeroticism gone wrong: "It was just before 5 PM on August 4 when a 33-year-old woman—who officers would later describe as 'extremely intoxicated'—wandered into the yard of a home in the 7800 block of Beacon Avenue S," writes Blotterlord Jonah Spangenthal-Lee. "There, several family members inside the home looked on through a window as the woman hiked up her dress and engaged in an intimate act with several lawn chairs. The woman, clothes in disarray, then began urinating on the lawn before quite purposefully exposing her genitalia, and then posterior, to the family inside the home. Officers quickly arrived at the scene and arrested the woman for her bawdy of work, and booked her into the King County Jail for indecent exposure."
THURSDAY, AUGUST 14 In worse news, the week continues in Ferguson, Missouri, where last week's killing of an unarmed black teenager by a white police officer has led to days of citizen protests and shocking responses from Ferguson authorities, who'll spend the week tear-gassing demonstrators, arresting journalists, and training high-powered weaponry on peacefully congregated American citizens. Today brought a silent blast of Ferguson commiseration to Seattle as an impassioned gaggle of citizens gathered in Westlake Park to participate in a nationwide moment of silence in solidarity with Ferguson.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 15 In better news, the week continues with Rick Perry, the governor of Texas and GOP presidential hopeful who was today indicted on criminal charges. "A grand jury indicted Texas Gov. Rick Perry on Friday for allegedly abusing the powers of his office by carrying out a threat to veto funding for state prosecutors investigating public corruption," reports the Associated Press. "Perry was indicted on charges of abuse of power of official capacity, a first-degree felony with potential punishments of five to 99 years in prison, and coercion of a public servant, a third-degree felony that carries a punishment of two to 10 years."
SATURDAY, AUGUST 16 Nothing happened today, unless you count the ongoing horror in Ferguson, a failure of American leadership that will likely end up making Kent State look like a li'l boo-boo. Stay tuned.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 17 Ditto.
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