MONDAY, AUGUST 15 Despite our lack of uterus, Last Days can imagine the world of worry that surrounds the road to new motherhood. From secondhand smoke to freshman year's tequila shots, pregnant women brave an onslaught of theoretical threats limited only by their imaginations and thresholds for self-torture. All of which makes what happened today to a pregnant woman in Renton all the more horrific. According to KING 5 News, it was just after 9:30 p.m. when the 28-year-old mother-to-be was relaxing on her sofa and a full-size pickup truck crashed into her apartment, rolling over her body, pinning her to the floor, and leaving her in critical condition. Making things worse: The 15-year-old boy behind the wheel of the rampaging truck, who'd been practicing his driving in the apartment's parking lot—under the tutelage of his father, who was in the passenger seat—when he suddenly accelerated, sending the truck speeding over a curb, across a 20-foot embankment, and into the woman's apartment. Neighbors told KING 5 that prior to the accident they'd heard the father and son fighting, and seen "some bizarre driving" in the apartment complex's parking lot. As for the innocent victim-with-child, she was taken to Harborview, where her condition has improved from critical to serious. (No word on her baby-to-be, but Renton police are investigating the possibility of criminal charges against the teenage driver and the boy's father.)

•• Speaking of criminal charges against teenage drivers and their fathers: Today ABC News reported on the Pennsylvania dad facing up to seven years in prison after his 15-year-old daughter—to whom he was giving a driving lesson—struck and killed a woman carrying a baby. (The baby survived.) The saga commenced last April, when 46-year-old Richard Miller took his 15-year-old daughter to an empty high-school parking lot for a driving lesson. Then came the mystery acceleration (prosecutors believe the girl thought the gas pedal was the brake) and the careening of the car through a fence, across the street, and into Sarah McGinley, who'd been playing in her yard with her 1-year-old daughter. The fatal teen driver has been charged with driving without a license resulting in death, while her allegedly do-nothing dad (prosecutors say a full eight seconds passed between the crashing of the car through the fence and into Ms. McGinley) faces charges of involuntary manslaughter and vehicular homicide.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 16 In far lighter news: The public-grooming renaissance continues today with this sighting from Hot Tipper John, who had just found a parking space outside the Federal Way water park Wild Waves when his son exclaimed, "Look—that kid is shaving his dad's back!" "At first I thought, 'No way,'" writes John. "I figured he was just putting on some sunblock. But then I turned around and was shocked to see a young kid shaving the hairy back of his dad (grandpa?) right in the middle of the parking lot with electric hair clippers. Even my 5- and 8-year-old boys understood this was deeply wrong."

•• Speaking of deeply wrong: Today brings another Hot Tip, this one from Hot Tipper Robert, who was exiting a 7-Eleven in Auburn when he was accosted by a most-entrancing man. "He smelled of malt liquor and he wasn't wearing a shirt," writes Robert. "When I told him I had no change for him, he asked if he could suck my dick for $10." But as the laws of commerce would have it, supply was unmet by demand. "I told him I could get my dick sucked for free pretty much whenever I wanted, and he slunk off." Thanks to Robert for sharing, and to the hustler for offering.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17 Today the antiwar activism engendered by Bush-stalking mom Cindy Sheehan went nationwide, with candlelight peace vigils illuminating numerous cities across the U.S. this evening, including Seattle, where over 400 citizens gathered at Green Lake to show their support of Sheehan and disdain for the military action that's shaping up to do more long-term global damage than capitalism and the greenhouse effect combined. Tomorrow, Sheehan will shift from grieving mom to concerned daughter, leaving her post outside Dubya's Crawford ranch after nearly two weeks to attend to her 74-year-old mother, who's recovering from a stroke in a Los Angeles hospital. Best wishes to Sheehan, who can't seem to catch a fucking break, and to those continuing her quest outside the ranch in Crawford, which, considering the growing crowds of both pro- and antiwar demonstrators, could very well become a new-millennium Fort Sumter.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 18 Today Last Days turns to the world-class local scandal swarming around Dr. Bill Schnall, the 60-year-old pediatrician, Children's Hospital figurehead, and former Shoreline School Board president whose medical license was suspended this week following investigation of claims of sexual misconduct with male teenage patients. Most incriminating detail of the so-far non-criminal case: Dr. Schnall's acknowledgement of "oathing," wherein a troubled male patient was allegedly made to stand naked before Schnall as punishment. According to the Seattle Times, Schnall told sheriff's investigators that he never ordered "oathing" for sexual gratification. "It had never dawned on [Schnall] that it could be viewed as unusual," wrote one detective. Meanwhile, Schnall's attorney told the Times that his client "will be disputing and contesting the charges." Stay tuned.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 19 The week continues with the klutziest instance of racial profiling since that Waxahachie, Texas, high school identified a National Honor Society student in a yearbook photo as "Black Girl." Today's tale comes from the Jersey shore, where last month 23-year-old Elliott Stein and his girlfriend enjoyed dinner at Parkhill's Waterfront Grill only to be handed a bill with the words "Jew Couple" written at the bottom. Details come from the Associated Press, to whom the restaurant's spokesman explained the wait staff's practice of using diner descriptions, rather than table numbers, to identify customers on checks. But as the restaurant's general manager added: "It was definitely poor judgment on her part."

•• Speaking of hilariously mislabeled bills: The AP offered a follow-up story citing further instances of malicious misidentification, including Peoples Energy customer Jefferoy Barnes, who started getting letters addressed to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes," and Comcast customer LaChania Govan, whose August bill came addressed to "Bitch Dog."

SATURDAY, AUGUST 20 Obsessive readers with photographic memories will recall Last Days' item of June 14, concerning the Olathe, Kansas, high-school student charged with misdemeanor battery after vomiting on his Spanish teacher. During the trial, the student's lawyer claimed the alleged assault was a stress-driven accident, while several students testified the boy had announced his vomit plans in advance, then bragged about it after. Today Last Days finally learned the fate of the would-be puke vandal, thanks to ABC News, which reports the student was indeed found guilty of battery and sentenced to four months of cleaning up after those who vomit in police cars.SUNDAY, AUGUST 21 The week ends with the staggering cost of gasoline, which today reached a world-historic record high, with a national average of $2.60 per gallon. Last Days looks forward to the community gardens, art installations, homeless shelters, and day-care facilities soon to fill the shells of so many deserted Hummers.

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