MONDAY, JUNE 9 This week of fascinating humanity, sub-Siberian temperatures, and official experiments in trauma kicks off with a rich bit of real-life theater and funky coincidence witnessed on the wilds of Metro. Our source: Hot Tipper Maria, one of the many Metro riders attuned to the pleasures of inadvertent eavesdropping. "I was on the southbound #7, casually listening in on an across-the-aisle conversation between a fifty- something lady and a young mother with a baby," reports Maria. "The older woman was asking the young mother all the standard baby questions, during which she mentioned the date of her adult son's birthday, to which the young mother replied, 'That's my baby's father's birthday, too.' A little while later, the young mother mentioned her boyfriend's name, which also happened to be the name of the older woman's son. At this point the older woman realized that the young mother across the aisle was the mother of her baby granddaughter. The older woman became quite emotional upon realizing that she was seeing her granddaughter for the first time. I spent the rest of the week pondering the odds of two related people discovering each other on Metro, along with the idea that the first time this woman met the mother of her son's child was a random encounter on the bus."

TUESDAY, JUNE 10 The week continues with some seriously effed-up weather in the Pacific Northwest, with the arctic temperatures driving countless Seattleites to heavy sweaters, voluminous whining, and as today's pair of Hot Tips suggest, frostbite-induced insanity. "Today our daughter got out of school early so my partner and I took her to Vios for some delicious Mediterranean lunch," writes Hot Tipper Sam. "As we sat down to wait for our food, I noticed the woman next to me had something shiny in her mouth. This woman, well-appointed and in her 50s, sat reading a book and picking her teeth with her earring. When she finished grooming, she wiped her earring on her clothes and put it back on. I am certain that our impressionable 15-year-old daughter—already not an earring wearer—will never be the same." But Hot Tipper Sam was handily one-upped by Hot Tipper Julie, who wrote in to report "a combination public-grooming-and-Metro horror story aboard the #25." "A woman sat in front of me wearing a face mask like she was trying to avoid the flu," reports Julie. "I was reading my book when I noticed rapid movement out of the corner of my eye. The woman had taken the skinny straw out of her coffee and was not just picking her ear with it—she was jackhammering the thing out and in (way in) like she was trying to kill a bug that had crawled six inches into her ear canal. After a minute or two of this, she pulled out the straw, chewed it to a finer point, and started the jackhammering again. To top it all off, she pulled her mask down away from her mouth, put the straw back into her coffee, and proceeded to slurp away." Dear Hot Tippers Sam and Julie: Thank you for noticing and sharing. Should you ever encounter anything similar, feel free to follow the recipe invented by Last Days' fella Jake: Politely approach the ear-digger/tooth-picker/what-have-you, then ask in your friendliest voice, "May I share your cloak of invisibility?" You're welcome.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11 Today brings the aforementioned experiment in trauma, courtesy of the Associated Press, which offers details on the freaky doings at Oceanside, California's El Camino High School, where last month police visited 20 classrooms to announce the bad news that several students had been killed over the weekend by drunk drivers. Upon learning the news, many students wept and some became hysterical, with the students' extreme distress driving one teacher to prematurely reveal the truth: The death announcements were a hoax, "a scared-straight exercise designed by school officials to dramatize the consequences of drinking and driving." "People started yelling at the teacher," said 16-year-old student Michelle de Gracia. "It was pretty hectic." Despite the tears and trauma, officials defended the program. "They were traumatized, but we wanted them to be traumatized," said guidance counselor Lori Tauber to the AP. "That's how they get the message." Students responded with a message of their own, printed on posters displayed at a school assembly: "Death is real. Don't play with our emotions." "You feel betrayed by these people you trust," said 15-year-old student/Stockholm syndrome sufferer Carolyn Magos. "But then I felt selfish for feeling that way, because, I mean, if it saves one life, it's worth it."

THURSDAY, JUNE 12 Readers undoubtedly recall the May 18 report of Hot Tipper Oscar, the heroic Metro rider who helped apprehend the psycho who attacked a blind woman on the bus. Today brought a heartening update from Jonah Spangenthal-Lee, the Stranger newswriter who identified the psycho and detailed the charges against him on Slog, the Stranger blog. The specifics: King County has filed hate-crime charges against 34-year-old Nguy Lamont Hughs, whom court records accuse of "savagely beat[ing]" the blind woman while declaring "the sick must die." "Hughs has been arrested four times since July 2007—for theft, criminal trespass, property destruction, and assault—but has not been charged," reports Jonah. "Hughs is undergoing psychiatric evaluation at Western State Hospital."

FRIDAY, JUNE 13 For hundreds of years in dozens of countries, Friday the 13th has been feared as a day of bad luck and evil run amok. Today, the superstition proved true, as R. Kelly—the R&B superstar charged with child pornography after allegedly videotaping himself urinating on and then boning his 13-year-old goddaughter—was acquitted of all charges. "[T]here was a lack of evidence," said a female juror to the Chicago Sun-Times. "There was nothing concrete enough to say it was him or her on that tape." Said Kelly's attorney Sam Adam Jr.: "Two things happened today—R. Kelly got his name back, and [his goddaughter] never had to lose hers." Congratulations to the rich and lucky defendant, and confidential to America's mothers: Please keep your daughters far away from R. Kelly.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14 Nothing happened today, unless you count the freakish Midwest flooding, which left the majority of Iowa underwater, with Governor Chet Culver declaring 83 of the state's 99 counties as disaster areas.

SUNDAY, JUNE 15 The week ends with that rare closed-circuit delight: a Hot Tip witnessed by Last Days. The place: the intersection of East Madison Street and 14th Avenue. The sight: a boozy, blowzy blond lady, who may have been engaged in a morning-after Walk of Shame commenced several decades ago, and who stumbled into the intersection while laboring to disentangle herself from several yards of yellow caution tape. Trailing close behind was her partner in grime, a fortysomething male aggressively toking on a grubby joint, which he passed to his lady then offered to the driver of a car stopped at the red light. "Don't give it to him!" demanded Blondie. "He's driving!" Thank you for your good sense, drunken floozy wrapped in caution tape.

Send Hot Tips to lastdays@thestranger.com.