MONDAY, DECEMBER 29 This week of fatal mistakes, fragrant air travel, and hideous bloodshed at home and abroad kicks off today with nothing, unless you count the humongous piles of garbage left uncollected on icy Seattle streets thanks to the city-crippling snowstorm that's disrupted trash-collection services to some Seattle neighborhoods for over two weeks. Among the stinkiest: South Seattle, West Seattle, and Maple Leaf, higher-elevation hoods that the city's nine-ton trash trucks have been unable to reach, leaving some homes without garbage pickup since December 11. "[It's like] a third-world city," said South Seattle's Jim Conchie to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, describing the two-plus-weeks of garbage and recycling being whipped around by today's blustery winds. Regular garbage collection will resume throughout the coming week. For today, the city's garbage collectors are asking residents to refrain from jumping up and down on garbage crammed into overloaded cans. "Please don't do that," said Seattle Public Utilities spokesman Andy Ryan to the P-I. "We have weight limits for our guys, how much they can humanly lift up. We don't want to give our guys a hernia."
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 30 In worse news: The week continues with the tale of a multifaceted Christmas tragedy, which commenced, fittingly enough, on Christmas Day. That's when 55-year-old Robert Aragon was driving his two kids from their home in Jerome, Idaho, to their mother's home in nearby West Magic, Idaho. After Aragon's truck became stuck in a snowdrift, the Associated Press reports, Mr. Aragon allowed his 11-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son to continue the 10-mile journey (through feet of snow and freezing temperatures) on foot. After freeing his truck and returning home, Aragon was phoned by his kids' mother, wondering about the whereabouts of her children. After four hours of desperate searching, Aragon called in Blaine County authorities, who deployed officers, snow plows, and search dogs to find the missing kids. At 9:50 p.m., 12-year-old Bear Aragon—clad only in long underwear after discarding his shoes, pants, and jacket due to hypothermia- related delusions—was found in a Bureau of Land Management bathroom, 4.5 miles from where he began walking. Two hours after midnight, 11-year-old Sage Aragon was found unconscious by the side of the road, where she was "covered in snow and barely visible." Soon after, Sage was pronounced dead at St. Luke's Wood River Medical Center. As if all this weren't bad enough, yesterday, father Robert Aragon was charged with second-degree murder in the death of his daughter and felony injury to a child for his son's hypothermia. Aragon's relatives are shocked by the charges: "He didn't send those kids out there to die," said Aragon's cousin Kenneth Quintana to the Magic Valley Times-News. "He just wanted their mother to spend Christmas with them. There's no way that he could have known what was going to happen." But as Idaho authorities see it, Aragon's daughter is dead because of his actions. If convicted of second-degree murder, Aragon faces from 10 years to life in prison.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 31 In lighter-yet-browner news: Today brings the story of the worst commercial airline flight in the history of the world (not counting those ending in fatal crashes). Details come from the Associated Press, which reports a Continental Air Express commuter jet was en route from Houston to Omaha last Friday when a middle-aged man entered the plane's lavatory and emerged covered in his own feces. "Oh, it was awful," said a passenger who chose to remain nameless. "It was worse than that." After the poop-covered man attacked the plane's one flight attendant, other travelers stepped in to help subdue the "unkempt passenger," who was restrained in the back row while everyone else moved to the front to distance themselves from what must have been a most foul stench. After the plane made an emergency landing at Omaha's Eppley Airfield, the mentally unstable man was transported to a care facility in Iowa. Authorities are investigating what kind of psychiatric care the man had been receiving and why he was allowed to fly unsupervised.
••Meanwhile in Thailand, a fire—believed to have been caused by New Year–commemorating fireworks—ripped through a Bangkok nightclub, killing at least 54 people and injuring 100 more.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 1 The week continues with the first day of the New Year, celebrated by countless happy citizens with shouts, leaps, and exceptional intoxication, and by one unhappy University of Washington student with a Nazi uniform, a blank-filled rifle, and an untimely death-by-fatal-police-shooting. Details on 2009's first dead fake Nazi—identified as 22-year-old Miles Murphy—come from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer: "The New Year was scarcely two hours old when Seattle police were forced to shoot a man wearing a World War II German military uniform in the University Park District. Police say he aimed a military rifle with a long bayonet attached at them and refused to put it down. He died later at Harborview Medical Center." RIP Miles Murphy, who learned the hard way just how little patience police have for would-be Nazis bearing would-be weapons.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 2 Nothing happened today, unless you count reports of the death of celebrity John Travolta's noncelebrity son, who suffered a fatal seizure in the Bahamas. Condolences to all.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 3 Nothing happened today, unless you count the continuing shitstorm in Gaza (which was invaded tonight by Israeli tanks and troops, commencing a ground war against the militant group Hamas and resulting in the deaths of hundreds and hundreds of Palestinian civilians) or the demonstrations against the ongoing shitstorm in Gaza in Paris, London, and Seattle (where some witnesses say the protest was so muddled they didn't know what it was for or against until they encountered subsequent news reports).
SUNDAY, JANUARY 4 The week continues with another horrifying blast of the violence that has seemed to erupt every weekend since summer in Seattle. This weekend's locale: Capitol Hill, where a hiphop show at the club Chop Suey was disrupted by gunfire that left 24-year-old Joseph Ryan (aka MC 29-E) dead and put promoter Avery Turner (aka 1st Black Prez) in Harborview's ICU. For more (and more) on the shooting: See here and here.
Dear everyone: Please stop shooting each other. Send Hot Tips to a href="mailto:email@example.com">firstname.lastname@example.org.