Street Eats

LAY OF THE LAND: Belltown

Home To: Sexy upper-income city folk, and the sexy hipster workforce staffing their cafes and boutiques

Mating Grounds

Belltown Billiards (90 Blanchard St): If this joint's commercials are to be believed, the place is routinely packed with easy chicks tossing back two-for-one cocktails while waiting for guys who watch late-night cable TV to come relieve them of their horniness. Recommended!

The Crocodile (2200 Second Ave): From the band room to the food booths to the back bar, the Croc's dog run creates a natural circuit of seeing and being seen, greatly aiding fucking and being fucked.

Natural Habitats

Le Pichet (1933 First Ave): This stylish eatery/drinkery boasts all the sex appeal of France, with none of the smelly frogs.

Shorty's (2222 Second Ave): Keith Bacon put it best: "Pinball is sexy and sex-like, the close-quarters machines in the back practically force you to interact with other singles, and 'Can I play with you?' beats any other possible pickup line." The addition of hot dogs makes Shorty's the most sex-drenched cube of air this side of Abu Ghraib.

Off-Leash Dog Area (Third Ave at Bell St): Formerly known as "Junkieville," this li'l city park has been gussied up into a sweet off-leash area, perfect for exploiting the natural attraction of possessing a cute dog, or being nice to someone else's.

 

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